Now I Lay me Down to Sleep

I remember as a child  

Visiting the tiny village where my grandparents lived 

And how every night 

Before she went to sleep 

My grandmother would get her tiny bible 

Hold it between her clenched hands 

Kneel on the floor near her bed 

Her elbows rested on the well worn comforter 

And 

She would pray

I was too young to completely 

Understand 

All that she said 

But 

I would stand silently  

Outside her bedroom door  

And listen to her pray

Her voice was different 

Quieter 

Calmer 

Almost sad 

As she prayed to the one she believed in 

And asked him for guidance 

Not only for herself 

But for all of those she loved

Many minutes passed and then she would 

Lower her head to her clenched hands 

And I'm sure I heard her softly sob 

As she whispered

It was usually at this point I would leave 

Because being a child 

It hurt to hear 

My wonderful Nanny Dove 

Crying

But this one time I stayed

I remember tears falling down my cheeks as well 

And even though I could not hear 

What she was whispering 

I felt 

If it saddened my Nanny 

Then it saddened me

Finally 

She said 

"Amen" 

Put the tiny bible on her nightstand 

And got into bed 

I turned to walk away 

But she called to me 

I opened the door 

And she patted the bed 

"Come, sit, Billy."

"Nanny, why were you crying?"

She looked at me for a few seconds 

Smiled 

And touched my face 

Withe her weathered 

Wrinkled hand

"They were tears of joy. 

I was talking to my saviour. 

I was thanking him for all that he has given me, 

a long life, wonderful children, and  

sweet grandchildren, like you."

"I was asking my saviour 

to always make my path in life clear 

and if I should stray, 

then show me the way back."

"I prayed to my saviour 

to look after my family 

long after the day 

that he calls me to his side. 

And see that they are safe 

and forever protected in his arms."

She smiled 

Bent forward and kissed me on the forehead

"Now go to bed, Billy. And don't forget to say your prayers."

I left silently 

Closed her door 

And walked to my room

I sat on the bed 

For a while 

Staring out the window 

At the darkness outside 

The wind rushing in from the ocean  

As it always did

I knelt by my bed 

I clasped my hands

"Now I lay me down to sleep 

I pray The Lord my soul to keep 

And if I die before I wake 

I pray The Lord, my soul to take 

God bless Mommy and Daddy 

Nanny and Poppy 

Nanny 

And my sister 

And Andy and her kittens 

Amen."

February 1, 2013