mother's words

I stand, alone, frozen

unable to move

water rising around me

in this, stark, white room

I see a face before me

but a faint memory

tears falling from her eyes

"See what you did to me"

she holds out her wrists

blood flowing down her hands

"You said you would always love me

you would always be my man"

the water now flows crimson

as another face appears

gaunt, white, sickly pale

a steady stream of tears

the water is still rising

now covering above my knees

as the face of a child

is what next, I see

"Where are you Daddy?

Why did you have to leave?

Mommy told me that you

simply did not want me"

one by one, they all appear

those who I have caused pain

their voices a dull roar

their tears a steady rain

the water rises still

now just below my chin

I know that I should apologize

but where do I begin

my voice is non exinsistant

lost in the deafening sound

then, suddenly, they were all gone

not a single face found

the water now blood red

does no longer rise

then I see the face of my mother

much to my surprise

"Mommy," I cried,

"Please help me, please"

the water turned icy cold

I began to shiver and freeze

"I know I've caused pain

I will make amends

Mommy, please don't tell me

this is how it ends"

"I can no longer help you

it has gone to far

you only have yourself to blame

for now, where you are"

"You could have had it all, son

a beautiful wife, children, a home

but like I told you years ago

when you die, you will die alone"

a single tear rolled down her cheek

and fell slowly, silently

the water began to rise again

and quickly covered me

I see nothing now, but the darkest red

hell will surely be my home

my mother's words echo eternally

"when you die, you will die alone"

November 22, 2014