*~*~*
When He's Gone: Hisoka
Introduction
*~*~*

"A babysitter?!"

"Mmhmm."

"What d'ya mean, a freakin' babysitter?!"

"I mean someone who sits after a baby," Hisoka cast me an amused look. "Any reason why you're so terrified, darling?"

I flushed red. "No..."

The truth was: I was very terrified.

The last time I had a babysitter was when I was ten years old, and it didn't turn out well. The guy ended up with a broken nose, swollen lips, a sprain and several puncture wounds made by a dining fork.

Needless to say, my dad wasn't happy when he found out.

And, in any case, I didn't really need a babysitter.

I was twenty-three years old – a responsible adult, a fully-grown woman and a well-trained vigilante. Just because I broke both of my legs falling out of a window from the 200th floor of Heavens Arena – twice – doesn't mean I couldn't handle myself.

It just means that the Health & Safety Department seriously need to consider setting up safety nets around the area.

Quite grumpily, I leaned back, crossed my arms and stared at my legs.

My very ugly, very misshapen legs.

Hisoka took a seat at the foot of my bed, legs crossed, as he rest his chin in the palm of his hand. "You don't look happy."

"Of course, I don't," I pouted. "If I really needed a babysitter, or nanny, or whatever, why can't you just look after me?"

Hisoka's eyes narrowed, making me squirm a bit.

Usually, I wasn't the needy, greedy brat that I sounded like right now; but, with the way things were going, I would much rather have Hisoka treat me like the incapable doofus I was than be left at the hands of some clueless prick.

"...That would be the case," the fuschia-haired man said slowly. "If I didn't have a mission to go on."

I tilted my head, curious. "Mission?"

"Yup," he replied, cheery. "I was hired by an organization two days ago for assassination. From what I hear, my target is quite..."

Hisoka paused, as if trying to find the right word.

"...Appetizing," he smirked.

"Appetizing?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his choice of vocabulary. "Really?"

The clown flashed me an innocent, close-eyed smile. "What?"

"Nothing," I muttered.

Though, in my head, I completely thought he was a power-hungry pig. Which, for the most part, was true.

The guy practically got a rush of testosterone just by thinking about bloody fights and muscly men.

As if reading my thoughts, Hisoka had a devilish glint in his eye.

Switching from his sitting position to all fours, the fuschia-haired man crawled over to me. Slowly, and seductively.

Like an animal stalking its prey.

It made my breath hitch. Um...

My heart began thumping wildly around my rib cage and I couldn't help but look away from the guy. Even though we've lived together for a while, and had been going out for even longer, it still made me nervous when he got like this.

I guess it's because I'm not used to it.

When I was with Illumi, I was always the one making the moves. Never the one receiving them...

Within seconds, Hisoka was in my face.

Wrist held above my head.

Right on top of me.

Carefully, he made sure to avoid bumping into my legs and placed his on either side, so he could straddle me fully.

"You know, Arie~chan," Hisoka started off, licking his lips as he stared down at me. "I really can't help it. I love dominating over people..."

"And that's fine," I said, trying to keep a straight face. "But can't you at least skip this mission? Just once?"

"I could," he said. "But that would mean missing a chance to play with my new toy."

I scowled. Idiot...

"Okay," I paused, choosing my words carefully. "Then, why don't you go and have fun, but leave out the babysitter?"

"No can do," he shook his head yet again. "You may be a talented vigilante; but, you're incompetent in protecting yourself."

"But –"

"Arie~chan," Hisoka said in a sing-song-y voice. "Does someone need to be taught a lesson?"

My face flushed red.

The last time he said that, he...

Damn, I couldn't even think about it without dying from embarrassment. So, instead, I ignored his teasing and resorted to my default emotion: pissed-off-y-ness.

"Hmph!" I turned away from him. "Screw you!!"

"You have," he pointed out.

"S-Shut up, you...!" I couldn't even think of a word bad enough to describe his overly-suggestive behavior. Of all the times my words failed me...

"You enjoy it," he teased, fully aware that he was winning the conversation.

"Uh-uh!" I shook my head violently, refusing to submit. "Never."

"Denial," he chuckled.

"I said no, dammit!" I said, stubbornly. "Freakin' perv..."

"Oh, Arie~chan," Slowly leaning down, Hisoka nuzzled against my neck. "You're so cute, when you're angry. I love it."

"Love it, my ass," I hissed.

"I do." He interjected.

"You–!" Upon his comment, my face flashed twenty different shades of red again. I mean, really...

"Shut up!!"

Wiggling out of his grasp, I pulled away and flipped over the side of the bed. The palms of my hands landed flat on the floor and I successfully swung my lower-half up in the air with the help of my awesome ab-muscles.

I took a few hand-steps forward before turning around and facing Hisoka.

The fuschia-haired man laid in bed, on his side while he used his elbow to prop his head up. The same stupid, amused look still hadn't left his face.

I hated it.

The more I looked at it, the higher my blood pressure rose.

I swear to God, I thought, exasperated. I love the guy; but, sometimes, I just wanna skin his sorry-butt and hang it on my wall...

It would've made a nice tapestry.

But, that's for another time.

"See," I huffed. "I can still walk."

"Nope," He shook his head, pityingly. "That's not walking."

"It so is," I replied, defiant. "It's just the other way around, dumbass."

"...Dumbass?" His left eyebrow rose ever-so-lightly. "Last I recall, darling, my ass was smart enough to not fall out a window from the 200th floor."

I scowled. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope!" he chirped.

Although I didn't have the ability to see my face, I could tell there were three to four stress marks decorating my ever-so-scary expression.

Hell, I could even feel them pulsating.

DING DONG.

Dammit.

The stupid babysitter was here.

Both Hisoka and I quickly glanced at the bedroom door, before casting each other nasty, challenging looks.

I narrowed my eyes, a gesture that simply meant, 'Try me, bro...'

Hisoka flashed me another close-eyed smile, a subtle gesture that meant, 'Of course, I will!'

All of a sudden, my world turned from upside-down to right up and I was gently, swiftly placed in our king-sized bed. Several pillows had been stuffed under my legs for elevation.

"What the–?!" I started.

Turning my head, I saw that Hisoka was hovering over me. Another devilish glint played in his golden eyes.

"Now, now, Arie~chan," he clicked his tongue twice. "You wouldn't want me to punish you in front of our guest."

I pursed my lips. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

The clown tilted his head all-but innocently. "How'd you know?"

"You–" I face-palmed myself.

...Honestly, I wasn't surprised that he would've said something so – well, Hisoka-ish. Before I could figure out what to say next, the 27-year-old firmly grasped my nose and wiggled it around.

"Wait," he bitched. "I will be right back."

"Tch," I swatted his hand away. "Whatever."

Hisoka didn't reply.

Instead, he turned on his heel, walked towards the bedroom door and down the hall so he could greet our unwanted guest. Sighing, I leaned back on my bed's headboard.

This is stupid, I repeated to myself for the 100th time today. Babysitters don't really do anything anyway.

Especially when they're looking after someone my age...

Although, I had to admit – I was a little curious about the babysitter. I mean, what type of person would Hisoka hire?

Down the corridor, I heard the quiet whispers of conversation. Hisoka had welcomed in the babysitter, who presumably stepped in. There was a slight pause before another voice – hushed but masculine – responded.

I could barely make out the words.

Suddenly, footsteps sounded.

As my boyfriend and the babysitter got closer, the voices got louder. And it made me all the more curious.

That voice sounds really familiar, I thought, racking my brain. I wonder who –

Poking his head in, Hisoka waved a small, pointless greeting.

"Arie~chan," he chirped, "Ready to meet your babysitter?"

"Depends," I scoffed. "Can I use him as target practice?"

"Absolutely not."

"Then nope."

"Good!"

The red-haired man threw open the door. And what I saw afterwards nearly made me lose color: Illumi Zoldyck.

Tall, slender, well-behaved and deadly-as-hell Illumi Zoldyck.

My former boyfriend.

Former fiancé.

Former love.

Eyes wide as saucers, I flashed Hisoka a peeved – and extremely accusing – look. Thousands of questions and profanities literally wanted to shoot themselves out of my mouth; but, in the end, one question prevailed: "What the hell is he doing here?!"

Before my stupid, stupid, stupid boyfriend could respond, Illumi blinked and tilted his head in a confused manner. "I'm here to babysit."

I narrowed my eyes, suspicious. "Why?"

"Because Hisoka asked me to," he said.

"Isn't it awkward?"

He blinked once more. "No."

"How?"

"Because it's not."

"Yes, it is!" I argued, clearly frustrated with the guy's cluelessness. "You have to be as dense as a rock to not notice."

"Dense as a rock?" Illumi crossed his arms and seriously contemplated his response. "The average density of a rock is 2.7 grams per cubed centimeter. I, as a human being, average to 985 kilograms per meter cubed. So, I fail to see –"

"Never mind, Illumi," I muttered.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I heaved a heavy sigh and counted to ten. Honestly, this was going to cause more stress than not. I'd rather break my legs again than deal with this bullcrap...

I mean, really...

"Well then," Hisoka clapped his hands after ten more seconds of awkward silence. "Now that you two are reacquainted, I'll take my leave."

I shot him a nasty glare.

"If you're leaving," I hissed. "Take your baggage with you. I don't need a nanny."

The guy didn't hear a word I said. Rather, he turned to his companion and ignored me completely.

"Be careful around her, will you?" he advised Illumi. "As you know, she tends to bite."

Illumi nodded. "Okay."

"Hisoka–!" I called out to him.

Too late though.

The guy had already left the room, door closed. I was alone in my bedroom with my former fiancé.

Sad face.

I mean, I understood that we were just arguing and bullshitting each other seconds ago; yet, I expected him to at least say, "See you later" or something.

Like I said, who knows how long it'll be before Hisoka comes back?

The time always varied.

I slumped a bit in my bed, pouting. "Idiot..."

Two seconds later, the idiot came back.

"Ah, I almost forgot," Hisoka exclaimed bursting into the room and walking over towards me. "This needs to stay on you at all times."

Slap.

The 27-year-old had stuck a bright, fluorescent yellow sticky note on my forehead. Although the hanging end of the sticky note partially obscured my view, I could still see what it said from the mirror across the room.

It had the word "MINE♥" written in big, bold letters.

I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

He flashed me a mischievous smile. "This is to ensure that no one touches you while I'm away, darling."

Hisoka gave me a quick peck on the lips. Short, sweet and simple, it was nothing like the man that he was.

But my cheeks warmed easily anyway. "Um..."

Satisfied with my reaction, he turned to face Illumi, who was still at the same corner we left him at.

"Try your best not to paw at my darling," Hisoka grinned. "I don't share well."

And with that, Hisoka was gone again.

The bedroom door was closed and I heard the front door lock. The silence the followed was stuffy and suffocating.

Well, this was going to be awkward...

*~*~*

It had been days since Hisoka left.

Or, to be more accurate, it had been five days since Hisoka left.

For the most part, I was aware and accepting of the long nights we would spent away from each other; considering, I worked in the same line as he did. But, it didn't change the fact that I was somewhat a little lonely.

I sorta missed – okay, no...

I really missed his snarky comments, playful attitude and overdose of euphemisms. It made the days pass by quickly. But now that he's not here...

I'm bored as hell!! I groaned internally, grabbing a pillow and smothering my face with the cool side.

Literally, there was nothing I could do to entertain myself.

I was strictly confined to my quarters of my bed and prohibited from moving about. Anytime I tried to, Illumi would follow me.

Take, for example, the first day.

After drinking large amounts of water to hydrate myself, I felt the sudden need to relieve my bladder of its internal stress and went to the bathroom. As soon as I flipped over to a handstand to go, Illumi appeared and carried me to the toilet...only to set me down on the seat and wait for me to finish.

I punched him for it.

On the third day, I tried to do my laundry.

I was separating my tees and pants from my delicates, when Illumi showed up again. He tried to help out. And by help out, I mean that he tried touching my expensive underwear.

I smacked his leg until he left.

And then, finally, on the fourth day yesterday, I snapped.

After several days of being bed-ridden, I finally decided to take a bath to wash off all the dirty crap that stuck on me. I made it to the toilet, put the cover down and sat on it.

Once I was comfortable, I began taking off my shirt.

Right about the time when Illumi opened the door and asked if I needed help with anything. Of course, his actions surprised me.

So I did what most dignified ladies did when walked in on: I screamed. It was then that Illumi lost his hearing, while a barrage of bathroom tissues followed him out the door.

Needless to say, my time with Illumi proved to be eventful.

I sighed.

"What am I supposed to do?" I muttered, slowly dragging the pillow down my face and letting whatever sunlight had filtered through my thin chiffon curtains into view.

A pale, blank and dead-pan face was staring at me.

I sighed again. "What do you want Illumi?"

He blinked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"The pillow was on your face."

"I know."

"Are you breathing fine?"

"Uh-huh."

"Is your heart rate okay?"

"Yup."

"What about your pulse?"

"Of course."

"And your –"

"Yes."

"But the pillow was on you."

"It's fine."

"Okay..."

Silence.

Illumi didn't budge or move.

He kept staring at me, unblinking.

His long, well-kept hair dangled down and tickled my cheeks and nose. I squirmed a little, swatting the strands away.

"Hey Illumi," I asked, propping myself up on my elbows. "Is there any reason why you're watching over me like this?"

"I'm babysitting," he explained.

"Well, I know that," I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "But you're sort of being overbearing about it."

"Overbearing?" Illumi couldn't help but frown. "I don't think I am."

Of course, you don't, I thought sarcastically. 'Cause normal people follow each other to the bathroom, touch each other's underwear and watch each other strip all the time.

Nothing weird about that.

At all.

I sighed. Looks like I'll have to break it down for him again...

"Look, Illumi," I started firmly. "I really appreciate all the effort that you're putting in to taking care of me; but, you have to back off. I'm not completely helpless."

"But you fell out of the 200th floor," he pointed out.

"That's what the 'helpless' part was for," I countered. "In any case, I've started feeling better. My legs aren't as numb, so you can head home for now."

"But I want to take care of you," he responded.

...

...

...

What?

The surprise on my face couldn't have been more apparent.

The hell is he talking about? Illumi was never that affectionate nor direct, in terms of caring. When we were together, he usually left me alone 'cause he knew I could handle myself.

But now that he's doing this...

It screwed with my reasoning.

I hated it.

"What do you mean," I started slowly, "that you wanted to take care of me?"

"Just as I said," Illumi responded. "I want to take care of you."

Illumi reached over and patted my head, stroking my hair gently. Like he used to, when we were still engaged. His touch brought back long buried memories and I couldn't help but feel a bittersweet pang in my chest.

I stiffened under his touch.

"Arie," my former love spoke. "Won't you give me another chance?"

Question: What will you, Arie Kadan, do?

Choice A: Say 'no' and stay loyal to Hisoka.

Choice B: Say 'yes' and let Illumi stay. [Clean version]

Choice C: Say 'yes' and let Illumi stay. [Dirty version]