*WARNING YOU MIGHT CATCH THE FEELS*

You approached Kurenai's apartment and started knocking on the door. You waited patiently with a smile on your face because today was solely going to be a relaxation day for you and Kurenai. The door slowly opened and showed Kurenai smiling.

"You ready for our busy day?" You said as Kurenai stepped outside. She chuckled as she closed the door behind her.

"You know I am, it's a nice change of pace. Everyone's been so busy on missions lately, so it's nice that we at least get to spend time with each other." Kurenai said as you both started walking into the somewhat busy streets. You sighed as your belly was rumbling.

"You're telling me! I barely see Kakashi anymore because he's busy. And all I ever do is eat, sleep, and read Kakashi's books. I've gotten so big because this little one is always kicking for more food!" Kurenai was laughing as you two reached the flower shop and ran into Ino. Her face lit up as she saw you two and ran up to hug you.

"(Name)-sensei! Kurenai-sensei! It's so great to see you both here!" Ino said while holding Kurenai's hand and smiling.

"Likewise, I'm surprised you're not out doing any missions or anything like that, Ino." Kurenai said to Ino. She sighed dramatically as she walked back to the counter.

"Actually, it's quiet the opposite. I've been working with the interrogation teams and training with my dad so I can put my mind-transfer jutsu to work. This is my free day thankfully."

"Wow, sounds rough." You said as you walked to the counter and patted Ino's shoulder.

"Yeah, but it's okay. What about you two? What's been going on?"

"The usual. Home resting, preparing for our babies arrival, and stuff like that." You sighed while waving your hand dismissively. Kurenai laughed as she went up to the counter with some supplies she needed for her flowers at home.

"Well what did you expect, (Name)? This is only the start of our struggles as we become mothers. We just gotta learn and overcome them." Kurenai smiled. (Name) made a poker face as Ino was smiling brightly while blushing at you two.

"Since when did you become so wise, Kurenai?" (Name) said sarcastically.

"Well, it's common sense. You should use it instead of complaining, (Name)." Kurenai laughed as a tick mark appeared on your forehead.

"I just can't wait to see the babies! Do you know when they are coming?" Ino asked while resting her head on her hand. You both looked at each other and smiled.

"They should be coming soon, but everyone knows Kurenai is gonna pop first for sure." You said as you held your hands out as if it was obvious. Kurenai flicked your cheek as you laughed.

"I may be first but you aren't that far from popping after me." Kurenai said as She handed Ino money to pay for the supplies. Ino sighed happily as she handed back the change.

"I can't wait to have my own, especially with the right person-"

"You mean Sai?" You said in a teasing tone as you gave Ino a flirty look. She blushed as you mentioned him.

"How did you know?!" Ino whispered to you, still blushing. You turned away feeling so knowledgeable.

"So I was right!"

"(Name)-sensei!" Ino yelled, flustered on how transparent she was. You and Kurenai laughed as you were exiting the store.

"Take care, Ino." Kurenai waved back.

"And good luck!" You said while holding out your fist. Ino sighed in defeat.

~ Kurenai's Apartment ~

Kurenai walked into the living room with tea and two cups as she placed it on the stand next to the couch. She poured your cup first as you grinned. You grabbed your cup and blew the tea to cool it. You took a sip and blushed.

"Your tea is the best, you know! It always relaxes me." You said as you continued to drink. Kurenai sat beside you and drank some tea as well.

"Well, you've been tense lately. Care to tell me why?"

You frowned at the thought of being tense... you could only think about Jiraiya for some reason. Then again you also thought about your last meeting with Itachi... it made you depressed you had no one to talk to about his death. You wished you could speak to Sasuke, and hopefully explain to him some things about Itachi no one else can. You sighed and set your tea down.

"I lost a very good friend recently and... I'm concerned about Jiraiya-sensei... I haven't heard anything from him since our last meeting... it felt like he was saying goodbye.."

Kurenai hugged you, hoping she could give you some comfort. You held back your tears because you had to keep your promise to Jiraiya. You had to be strong.

"(Name), I know better than anyone about how you feel... but what I don't understand is that if this happened recently, how were you able to go on with your day with such a pure smile?"

"I... I made a promise to him... To Jiraiya-sensei... no matter what, I have to be strong. For my son's sake..."

Kurenai look at you, shocked when she heard you say your baby was a boy.

"Wait, you got your tests back?"

"Yeah... I'm having a baby boy.." you smiled sadly, looking back when you and Kakashi were told that you were having a boy. Kakashi was extremely happy and you just remained stunned.

"You know... it's funny, before I even knew it was a boy... sensei knew from the moment he found out I was expecting... that I was going to have a son..."

You looked at Kurenai with that same sad smile. Kurenai continued to hug you. You were there for her when she lost Asuma, so she felt like it was her responsibility to be there for you.

"(Name)-"

Knock! Knock! Knock!

You both looked up to the door then at each other. (Name) had suddenly gotten a sinking feeling in her stomach. Kurenai got up and opened the door. There stood Kakashi.

"Kakashi? What are you doing here?" You said as you got up and hugged him.

"Lady Tsunade has summoned you." He said in a serious tone, making you even more anxious than you already were.

"This late? It's almost sunset, and do you know why..?" You said as you looked into Kakashi's eyes. He looked away from your gaze, he couldn't bare it.

"It's important..." It was the only thing Kakashi could muster up to say. He already knew the terrible news that was about to hit you. He had already seen Naruto's reaction, it was difficult to just let him walk away without following to comfort him.

"O-Okay... Kurenai I'll be back okay?" (Name) said while hugging Kurenai. You was trembling because you had a gut feeling it had to be Jiraiya. Kurenai noticed you shaking and grabbed your hands while giving you a reassuring gaze. You nodded and left with Kakashi.

As you both made your way to the Hokage estate, neither of you had said a word and avoided looking at each other. (Name) was watching families as they passed and smiled. Although you wouldn't admit it, you was beginning to feel envious of those families.

"I've always wondered... why such heavy burdens were always placed on us. I could understand that they can make someone stronger if they overcome them. But... it's just... sometimes you get... tired."

Kakashi could only stay silent. He didn't know what to say or if he even had the right to say anything. He got frustrated as you both found the Hokage estate in your sight. Here Kakashi was walking next to his fiancé, who's carrying his baby, and he can't even speak to comfort you. He clenched his fists in his pockets.

"Kakashi... promise me something?" You said as you both stopped in front of the estate. Kakashi grabbed your hands then kissed them before looking at you.

"Anything."

"No matter what... we have to be there for our son. I never want him to feel alone... neglected... unloved... I don't want him to feel what I felt being alone..." you said as you hugged Kakashi and tighten your grip as you started to tremble. Kakashi frowned and returned the hug.

"I promise... we'll both make him happy..."

You looked up to Kakashi and gave him a small smile before you both went inside the estate towards Tsunade's office. Kakashi grabbed your arm before you knocked to go inside.

"(Name)... I don't know how this conversation will go down but... I'll be right next to you if you need me, okay?"

"Okay..." you responded softly. You really needed his support and was glad to know Kakashi was there for you. You knocked on the door and went into Tsunade's office after she let you in. As soon as you stepped in, you froze in place as you noticed Fukasaku and other toads beside Tsunade. You didn't need to hear what they had to say because you already knew...

"He's gone..."

Fukasaku frowned as he expected you to know right away. Sakura, Sai, and Shizune stood on the side and watched you with sadness in their expressions. Tsunade closed her eyes and clenched her fists. Kakashi grabbed your hand but you were unresponsive as tears fell from your eyes. The room remained silent until Fukasaku spoke.

"Jiraiya-boy wasn't going to engage... but as soon as he discovered the Akatsuki leader Pain, he knew he was the only person who could figure out the secret to his Rinnegan."

"No! He wasn't the only person! Jiraiya-sensei shouldn't have gone out there! I should've stopped him! I could've done something! I-"

Kakashi pulled you into his embrace as you were crying uncontrollably. He didn't say anything but held you in his arms. More tears fell from your face as you returned the hug and screamed into Kakashi's chest. As you slowly calmed down and grew weak, Kakashi held you up so you wouldn't faint. You nodded you were okay as Kakashi slowly let go of you, worried you might just faint from being overwhelmed.

"Now that Jiraiya-sensei is gone, there's no doubt that the Akatsuki will come to the Leaf for me and Naruto. I'm in no condition to fight... but I will keep my promise to my sensei and assist you Fukasaku-san in training Naruto sage art. Assuming it's the only way we can defeat pain..." You said as you kept your gaze on the floor. Fukasaku sighed and looked at you.

"Jiraiya-boy doesn't just want you to train Naruto-boy... he wants you to stay in Mount Myoboku for your safety along with the baby's."

Your eyes widened as you remembered Jiraiya's wide grin when you last saw him. You knew your sensei was no fool, you knew he would ensure your safety along with Naruto's before anything else... which made it even more heartbreaking to realize that Jiraiya knew there was a great possibility that he wouldn't return.

"I understand..."

"We already told Naruto-boy but... he stormed out and was upset like we expected... I understand if you want to go look for him but before you do, do you have any more information on pain that could be useful in this investigation?" Tsunade said while trying to keep her composure. (Name) frowned at Tsunade, reminding her to see the same frown Naruto gave her earlier.

"I only know what he looks like, I rarely saw pain besides for giving out missions or extracting bijuu from jinchuuriki. I don't know his abilities at all." You spoke as you felt your anger start to build up. Tsunade gave Jiraiya permission and sent him on the mission knowing the risks it had.

"Alright then... Kakashi, you and (Name) can-"

"Did you even try to stop him." You spoke as angry tears fell from your face. You clenched your fists as you saw her eyes widened.

"(Name) I don't have to-"

"You allowed him to go! You gave him the order to go!"

"Yes, I did! Are you satisfied now?!"

You were enraged and turned around to leave. Kakashi grabbed your arm but you pushed him off. You couldn't control yourself as your hair started to float and change color. At the same time, green chakra smoke was coming off of your body. You opened the door but stopped before you left.

"How can I be happy when the someone as precious as my sensei is gone." You said before slamming the door behind you, causing the door to develop cracks. You started running while crying. You didn't know where you were going, you just let your legs take you where it took you. You heard Kakashi behind you, screaming your name while searching for you. You didn't want to face Kakashi... you just wanted to find Naruto and comfort him. All you could think about was that he was feeling the same pain or worse about Jiraiya being gone. You just continued to run farther away as Sakura and Sai went to Kakashi to help look for you.

It was nighttime already as you ran. You were on a dirt path and continued to run until you came across two people sitting on a bench. It was Naruto and Iruka-sensei. Naruto noticed you and ran towards you.

"Nee-chan!"

"Naru-" You suddenly felt weak and felt everything around you fade to black as you fell. The last thing you saw was Naruto and Iruka run towards you. But behind them was someone else... a glowing figure walking away... it almost looked like Jiraiya to you.

"Jiraiya... sensei..."

Kakashi appeared and caught you before you hit the ground. He carried you bridal style and looked at you with a sad expression. He held you close then noticed you revert back to your normal form as you completely fell unconscious.

"I let you get this reckless... forgive me, (Name)..."

Naruto, too emotional to think before that his own sister would find out about Jiraiya, watched Kakashi catch you. He was frustrated because he felt selfish for not even considering your feelings and that you were just as close to Jiraiya like he was. He swore he'd protect you and his nephew, and he felt like shit for not actually living up to his promise.

"Is (Name) alright? Should we get her to the hospital?" Iruka said as he ran up to (Name) and Kakashi.

"I'm not sure, I'm going to head over there right now. Naruto." Kakashi yelled causing Naruto to get out of his thoughts and look towards Kakashi.

"Come with me. You have to be there for your sister at the hospital. We have to keep our promise to her, right?" Kakashi said, trying to get Naruto out of his emotional state and back to his usual self. Naruto nodded while clenching his fists.

"Right. Let's go."

A/N: hey guys, once again I apologize for the late chapters. Things have been rough for me and I never have time anymore to even sleep let alone write. But as the semester continues I'll find my rhythm again. But I was considering writing another xreader from a different anime. I would like to know if you guys have any ideas or requests you'd like to see. I want to write more besides Naruto you know, and go beyond... PLUS ULTRA!