Aphmau wasn't at school the next day.

It was understandable, but none of us were given an update.

I was worried.

Not about Aaron, I couldn't care less about him, and if he died I wouldn't shed a single tear for him, he's ever so slightly irrelevant at this point.

But I was worried about Aphmau. It confused me as to why I was worrying over a girl that was supposed to mean nothing. But I was watching the clock in morning classes, wanting to get out. I was checking my messages and sending one to her occasionally. I was nervously zoning out in class, consumed by my thoughts of worry.

"She's fine," Travis placed a hand on my leg that was bobbing up in down in impatience.

Art was a simple class really, didn't involve much attention, but it needed a certain amount. Currently the page in front of me was blank.

"I'm worried," I replied, looking into his eyes and biting my lip.

"Don't be, Aph's strong. And if something had happened she would know to tell us."

I nodded, not knowing if I fully trusted his words or not. But he knew her better than me, so I had to trust him. Just this once.

I inhaled deeply and started to sketch out the assignment.

When my phone dinged I almost threw my pencil across the room to grab it.

"What's it say?" Travis hurriedly moved closer to me, trying to read off my phone screen.

"Everything's alright, not much has changed, she misses us," I gave him the main idea of the text. He let out a sigh of relief and threw his head back as he stared at the ceiling.

"This whole thing....it's scary."

"Tell me about it," I mumbled.

After school we went to the hospital only to see Aphmau sobbing in one of the chairs. We walked over and she collapsed into Travis' arms.

"He's gone."

Two words that held so much emotion, such heavy words. I felt a huge weight sit in my gut, telling me it was my fault. A huge problem this would be.

How could I do that? Kill her love, and how was I supposed to kill Travis? That's her best friend. I couldn't hurt Aphmau, not like that.

Damn it, I was getting close to her.

I leaned in and whispered into Travis' ear.

"I'm gonna go home, see Garroth. I'm gonna take a cab, so you will have the car we took."

Travis nodded while holding Aphmau even tighter.

I stepped out of the hospital, taking a breath and closing my eyes. It was already starting to get dark. Seeing as how it was fall, the nights would be coming quicker, so days did feel shorter. It was only around six, I had no clue how long I had actually been in the clean halls of the hospital.

I dialed a cab company and was told I had at least a fifteen minute wait due to the large amounts of traffic in the area, and the company was far away from the hospital.

"How long?" Travis appeared behind me. I turned and smiled, holding my arms and smiling sadly.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Aphmau called her mom, and right now they need some time alone, so how long until the cab comes?"

"At least fifteen minutes," I shrugged.

Silence fell between us as I sat down on the curb.

"So how are you doing?" Travis questioned, taking a seat next to me.

"I keep replaying the moment in my head, and it just feels like it's all my fault," tears dotted my eyes, but I blinked them away.

"Don't be like that," he sighed. Travis gave me a side hug and that caused more tears to crawl their way to my eyes. "It's going to get better."

I hated those words.

'It'll get better'.

Those were the words that were always repeated to me. Sure, I went to my parents funeral, but I blocked it out of my thoughts the day after, and all this talk about death brought it all back.

It was only held at the facility, barely anyone was there. My whole class was there, and so were the rest of the director's family. There were a few of my teachers, and then some strangers I had never met. Probably fellow assassins that my parents knew.

They had a person speak about some life accomplishments, and boring trivial things.

I cried.

My three brothers sat beside me, crying their eyes out. Kacey hid his face in my hair and sobbed loudly, making it hard for any of us to have that minute of silence.

After the funeral a nanny took my brothers and I was stuck standing in a room full of practical strangers as they offered their condolences.

"It'll get better."

One of them told me while hugging me as the sobbing mess I was.

But then the next person came up. He was younger than me, maybe by two years. His hair was brown and he looked to be remembering too much as tears dotted his own eyes and he reached me.

"It never does, don't let them lie to you," he whispered. I nodded, believing him.

I had finally put a name to the face, it was Vylad. He had lost his mother when he was about three or four.

I snapped back into reality as Travis shook me.

"The cabs here," his voice was soft as if he were afraid to break me with sound. I nodded and collected myself.

I said my goodbye and got my drive home.

When I walked through the door, Garroth was already sitting on the couch with his head low as if he knew what the news was. He was always good with that, always good with knowing when something was definitely wrong.

"He's dead....isn't he?" Garroth looked up at me with pain in his eyes. I nodded and sat next to him. "We're going to hell," he joked and I laughed through choked sobs as I leaned into him.

It wasn't Aaron.

I was upset that I hurt Aphmau.

I still wasn't okay about my parents.

Sure, I hated their guts but they were still my parents. Barely, but still the source of my life. I despised them with all of my being, but it still hurt that they were gone.

My emotions were conflicting at best, but I knew what pain was.

And I wore it like a crown.

A/N Found this song and thought it fit pretty well for this part, I dunno. I wanted to kill Aaron fast. It'll help the story line, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna automatically make it Garmau, it may be one of my ships, but it's not the focus of the book. I love you all devils, byeeeeeeeeee.
Song: Bleachless by Elizibeth Grace