“God never fulfill my desire just to snatch it away.”

•

“Everyone is here for a reason. Every small being in this world has a meaning.”

Jungkook recalls words spoken by Jin when he was reading a novel, while cuddling into his arm. What a time is was to be alive!

“Jack came into Rose's life to let her grow old and die in the warm bed, making alot of babies and watch them grow. Mr Darcy came into Elisabeth's life who was a judge on love—to show her that love is the most beautiful thing to feel.” Seokjin sighed dreamily.

“Even you came into my life for a reason, Jungkook-ah.” an amused smile creeped on Jeon's face as Jin leaned up, craddling his face fondly staring, peppering some sweet kisses.

We were so happy, love revolving around them.

He conquered the not so difficult wall, sractching his elbows, sneaked inside with pertinacious mind and heart. The bruises on his body was being shelterless and seeking home in roughest ground, stinkiest corners made his body stoned, soulless that the chilliest winds nor the fear of getting caught for entering into property suspiciously stopped him, succumbed him.

He walked in slow steps as the dried leaves crackled below his feet. The dawn was there providing him a little sight to walk on with the hush steps without crunching the leaves beneath. 

He looked up to the tree and kicked it's trunk, then scowling on himself for being petty and torturing a still innocent being here. He looked up and sighed.

“Snow will fall, sun will rise, flowers will blossom, it will rain beautifully.
    Once they'll touch the ground they would miss you, so don't run away.”

His eyes traveled to the window where he would see his beloved beauty glowing more than a setting sun, a blossom in the wasteland. No one in this world could bring him a realization of having a heart than his Seokjin.

Ah! The burn of love—he could walk there into lovely house and take him in his arms but shall not for he promised himself that would face Jin only when he is finally doing something right in life so even if his heart dries inside to see a glimpse of him, he would burry it all.

---

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Seokjin's little puffy eyes released a drop of tear as he read the quote from the book. He would agree on this—Jungkook and him, both are same. Very alike. Very stubborn—very in love, they can't live without each other but still drifts far away on opposite worlds.

Stormy atmosphere! Today it is. The howls of wind shrill into his ears neither letting him sleep or focus on the book. He seized his glasses and stared at the window or more to those helpless leaves. His room was bigger with his bed slumped in middle, couldn't see much but the tree.

whose leaves were still there, being tortured in rough edged winds. The heavy blackish hue in the whether led a lazy atmosphere. He coughed some blood without any pain and wiped it with his sleeve, checking into the mirror hanging on the wall across him. The dark circles so deep that it would give him a role in horror movies and pale skin highlighting that smeared blood around nose, lips, it  could've paniced himself only if he cared. The ruffled of his uncut jet black hairs. 

He limped around the room to let his legs breathe, after being cramped into bed whole day.

Might stare outside the window and would call the rain—his favorite thing in world.

“Don't be so loud! Hush your screechy voice there!”

Seokjin's ear perked up at the faint voice grumbling into hushness outside his room. He halted his steps in mid way and turned to walk to the source of voice.

“But what if he saw—” It was Jimin's voice, if the manliness accent in his tone wouldn't be there, Jin would've mistook it as some worried mother out there. He sounded on verge of cry. A wimpy shake in it made jin worried. He leaned more to the source of voice. Not understanding what's happening out there. Before Jimin could be more of hint to the converse going out, uncle interrupted him.

“Get down for Christ's sake! You, don't lurk around Seokjin till I say. Go get some work, get me sleeping pills from and better if you have some for yourself! Scram!” A little steps of Jimin descended down the wooden stairs.

The knob twisted into the uncle's palm and he opened the door to see Jin standing in middle of room like an uninvited ghost. The awkwardness and tiredness in his posture with a white nothing on face.

“Jin, why aren't in your bed! Oh dear there's blood! On your lips! Too much.” he quickly brought up the cloth from his shirt and wiped the his lips, holding the chin of his grape sized face. The blood almost dried up. “Why are standing here, you need anything? Do you feel the pain?”

“My legs felt cramped, so I walked around the room. Too big and bad, I couldn't even complete one round and tired myself out.” he chuckled, raising  up his face so the dried crust of blood on his chin to be visible to wipe. “Why were you scolding at Jimin. He can't take much of harsh words. He must be crying now with your sleeping pills in mouth. Very bad uncle.”

His uncle held a baffled face schooling it quickly to be normal, too fast for jin to notice. “You heard us?” he chuckled in very dry way.

“Hmm, very weird talk.” he shook his head. “With the way you both sounded. You were fazed, panicked and Jimin could cry right there. Tell me, what's the matter?” he stared at him.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Not convinced! You still sound suspicious.” he squinted his swollen eyes, almost his pupils disappearing that was visible to uncle's attention.

“Jin you were crying again!?” Said name sealed up his lips. “Jungkook–”

“It's okay uncle, I don't even know when I'm crying. Leave me, you say...”

“Aah, Jimin messed up with my pills and accidentally broke your Nintendo switch. I turned mad when I saw your dear toy into two pieces.” the hesitant stutters in uncle's tone was a thorn in his eye. He ignored.

“Oh uncle, you lashed him out for just that! You know those things don't fancy me anymore, you scolded him for small reason.”

“I know things don't make you smile anymore but they used to, and those smiles were most the beautiful ones. I store all those things in hope your old self would come back home.” he smiled sadly, but swayed his hands away, laughing dryly at the teary eyes of Jin.

“I'll never speak in that way your Jimin henceforth and shall kiss him on forehead as an apology.” he grinned to his nephew. “I just hope, he didn't actually swallow my pills.” They laughed.

Uncle's eyes turned red and glassy, Jin's laugh faltered. He suspected it to be for the good laugh they shared now or for the amount of all nighter his uncle's pulls for work and his health. Those eyes were very sad though.

“You shouldn't go near the window now, Jin-ah.” Uncle spoke. Seokjin's countenance held a big question mark. “There's a bad storm coming. Look at your skinny body, winds could blow you away.” Jin rolled his eyes. Uncle clapped the window closed. “And you'll catch cold. Wouldn't want snort running down along with blood.” He chuckled and stared at worried face of Jin.

“You sure that everything is fine?” Jin asked.

“Don't get bother. Go to bed. I'll read you the story.”

As jin fell asleep into the soothing air caused by uncle bringing back times of his early age when he would listen his father reciting stories. Uncle patted his hairs and locked up the window tightly, that jin's frail hands wouldn't open.

“Forgive your uncle.” he whispered.

----

Seokjin was to be the obstinate one. When he was warned to be not near the window, he had stand close to it, and try opening them—eventually gave up for the strong lock keeping them shut.

He wasn't bed ridden nor an old man. Could walk himself down and see for the bothersome disallowance of looking out of window and lose face of his uncle, close to cry voice of Jimin that suspects him they are keeping something from him.

He limped down, through the help of  support of furnitures. The weather was called wild today and promised it to be. Near the threshold he stood, giving himself an umbrella  from the bucket beside as soon it's gonna surely rain and walked out,

His sight flew to the leaves that had a battle with harsh winds but couldn't pluck it out of the branch. Those two leaves stayed like a will of God.

“Seokjin-ah! Why are you out?” Uncle cried, covering jin's shoulders with his warm coat.

“You looked sad, Jimin too. I felt something wrong. Why are you out here Uncle, look at the weather! Why did you disallowed me to look out of window?” he moved closer to the tree that had empty branches sprawled like witch's claws.

He looked at tree in shuddering way as his eyes travelled to a damp patch of blood on the ground and on the rough edged scary chunk of stone. He saw the deep color of blood—shifted his eyes to his uncle and Jimin, who looked unhurt physically and so he chose to ignore that. He didn't want to ask about it.

“Uncle...” his voice wavered. “You aren't hurt or Jimin, right?”

“No jin, we aren't.” his uncle turned around, from the sight of blood. “Jin, that blood...” They started to tear up.

As Seokjin's eyes shifted back to that blood. “Don't tell me.” he gulped an unknown cry bubbling inside, his face turning red, a nausea hit him for his eyes traveled to that unsettling sight again.

“Seokjin-ah. Never to hide it from you, but I—I have a letter for you.” his trembling hand gave a paper from his pocket and shaking hand of Seokjin seized it, his eyes being worriedly, gravely fearfully suspicious for the way uncle refused to look at him.

Jimin too standing far away, hugging himself, his eyes never leaving Jin, with drowned in over sympathy that  perturbed jin. They didn't open their mouth to clear out what the hell is going on here. Blood—letter. But he didn't come to ask for that blood as it wrecked his weak heart.

Now the letter will speak for them.

He unfolded the paper and his breath trembled.

“If I leave without saying goodbye, don't blame me for we'll meet again.
Would wait for you with my whole heart even if not in this life.
   And you'll live even if I am not here. Our love will live through you.”

       —Jungkook.

Seokjin's tremoring eyes swiftly teleported to the leaves hanging far above. Those leaves were always perculiar one. He was standing closer to the tree today. Taking the opportunity to observe it, he saw a red string tied around leaves on the branch to keep them affixed. Those leaves were meant to die long ago and Seokjin was suppose to follow his death through them but Jungkook kept them here.

The Jungkook's will worked here.

His tears rained on his face to his shirt. His hands trembled and paper escaped through his clasp, flying away. His pulled down as his face distorted, his heart crumbling, dying thousand deaths inside.

“Jungkook no...”

----

I climbed the tree wishing it to be small, I didn't have quite much of energy left. This running away, stabbing some goons of my mafia leader but in non fatal way, given bloody hits by them, all this has exhausted me.

I could feel my legs one step away from crumbling down to the ground and I might never walk on it again but for promise I made of facing myself, doing right, not walking away from trouble; is something that gets me a wilful boost to move my body for the thing I determined to do.

I clutched myself on a thick nearest branch. My scraped knees stung unforgivingly, and my heels were off. The restless sensation in my body is taking toll on me. Using one bicep, and freeing the other hand, it traveled in my pocket and grabbed a string and three-four leaves I picked up from ground.

Hiding nearest to Seokjin's house wasn't a purpose that I could seek in and meet him, anytime. No I can't meet him when death wants me. I can't let those men have their eyes on Jin. The reason I chose to hide in this town is because I could keep the leaves on Trees, keep my seokjin here, far away from death.

I die or not—we will leave together or part away, he has to live. He needs to see the beauty of life—for me. That's why I am keeping leaves and Seokjin under alive under my will.

Quickly adhering myself to the branch, I created a false sight of leaves hanging on the branch by affixing the leaves through tying it with thread—strong enough, thoroughly, like my life depended on it. Keeping in mind that storm shall arrive soon.

I panicked as I lost my balance, trying to hold tight but blood oozing out of my palm worked as an enemy, my hand slipping away, but my fall wasn't a conern but to notice if leaves are attached properly.

Without any warning my hand lost the grip. There I felt my legs slipping off like how life slipped off my hands, I couldn't grab onto anything for saving myself lest I could that, I was in the mid air, hands thrown carelessly as if wings would bust behind me and I would start to fly. But then I thank god for I wasn't one with wings or I a troublesome, reckless might fly too high to the sun and burn my wings. With my dad watching me fall again and regretting on me again who already has given important caveat in my life only to be ignored. I thank god that for I'm not with wings.

I could feel the aghast, the wind below me, the each hair of my body stood. My smarmy life declining as pitiful as frail kingdom. The blood in me stopped, I felt it.

In the middle of air I suddenly fell in love. Oh no, not with the delirious thought of my life ending finally or that I wouldn't be running against the chance of facing myself that I heartily hate;
      but I fell in love with my mother. The way she held me in affection even when I reeked an alcohol, cigarettes, disappointments. I fell in love with my father who had stalwart slaps and the afterburn of it was hell but to bring me a decent right tracked life. I fell in with my brother quarrels  would have a hidden message of ‘even I hate you, I've got your back’. I blossomed a love for them, more profound and deeper—if only they were here to be showed.

I fell for my seokjin, all over again, the love of my life. Without him, this lowlife wouldn't be blessed or dared to feel something pure, something dearly touched by god, incandescent thing like love. The one who accepted my hideous scars, ugly stories, impure hands like an impartial, kindest angel. I am grateful to everyone who had their hands in giving me Seokjin. I'd remember him, remember him in every life.

My life wasn't any brilliant one, though I was raised with impeccable wealth, never knew how to get this privilege into a smooth lavishing envious life. I made a hell of my parents efforts and myself as well. I would never forgive himself for that.
•

The air around him looked more of a mock, they wouldn't let him fall in one quick thud, ending it all but with a slow downfall, letting his mind replay all of his memories as a punishment, reminisce all time when he wasn't alive, trying to be alive, taking lives of the alive, very unpleasant, very cruel of him. The air around him whispered incoherents, his hairs blinding his eyes. His eyes were adhered to the leaves he fixed there, swaying in solitude making him feel all warm, like he fall into an abyss of heaven.

Something obdurate, very crude, touched the back of his head. He felt maim, less living. A hot breath emitted out of his parted lips, tear rolling down to his ear. Eyes dilated yet numb, ghsotly white and blackness covered his sight. This is the end. He flicked his eyes to see his fall and saw Seokjin in front of sun, eclipsing it. He could see his calm smile, The glow that succumbed sun, hide in clouds.

If he knew this is how his end is, if he knew his life and if how to go back and change it all—he wouldn't change any bit of it. What cost him his reputation, mental health, sleep, his peace will worth him a smile of his Seokjin—mending the life of a purest creature then he is ready to lose it all again and again. If he's willing to save his life and mend it all in beginning then he would have never gotten chance to meet Seokjin.

But the possiblity of changing everything in good like how his father would want him was high if he can turn back time, but this choice or that, in the end he had let one go. So he'd rather choose to let himself go. He doesn't want to make choice between two golden and so sacrificing himself is the easiest way.

If this is the condition of it is; I die for you to live—he is ready to accept it without hesitation. A love has borned in his hopeless heart, so he would treasure it for sure.

The hot liquid oozed out of his nose. His hand traveled to back of his head and touched blood through tip of fingers, seeing deep red. A wavering sigh emitted as he saw leaves and this death would do no harm to him. After all, he attempted to do something right this time.

He's aware, this wouldn't be appreciated by Seokjin. He wants to live his life with this retired assassin or die. Jungkook couldn't come to think of how he'll keep himself present all the time in front of Seokjin when he has to pay for evil he did. And letting his young lover die before his undead eyes wouldn't give him peace for whole eternity. Seokjin is beautiful and so is his life, he don't deserve to die young.

‘Seokjin-ah, Gone will forget, left will be the most painful.’ His heart spoke. “I know Jinnie, it will take a heavy piece from you to forget me, but time will change it all, it will heal your heart and me—think of me as a dream that visited you to make his own life better.” he closed his eyes and tears escaped.

.
.
“Uncle!” Seokjin fell on knees crying his guts out. “I don't believe this..no no no. He can't leave me ” Uncle held him, shaking him out of his piercing cries. His face alarmingly red and his body shivering in great despair. Kook, I don't wanna live in world where you don't exist.

Uncle ran his fingers through his hairs and said. “Seokjin—he is in hospital currently. When I called ambulance, they said he's faintly breathing. There is a chance, Seokjin. Don't lose yourself yet.”

Seokjin looked up to his uncle, back to sense and sniffed, a tiny hope bloomed in him, a strong one “Take me to him.”

•

They reached the hospital, the drastic soar in Jin's blood pressure, his heart pounding in his ribs and his the tears stinging his eyes caused hin to slow down as nausea kicked in, he halted but didn't wait for long as his health would only be calmed when he sees his Jungkook.

Nonetheless he ran in the white hallways not waiting for uncle and Jimin who were near the receptionist asking her about Jungkook's ward, while seokjin was lost among the hospital's paleness, people with long faces, doctors staring at him, he felt little and timid amidst these all but uncle held him as support and took him to the floor they were supposed to be.

As they reached the desired the ward, Seokjin grasped doctor's hand who just came out and removed his mask, he clung to his hand “How's he doctor? I wanna see him, please.” he wailed.

“Though visiting hours...” doctor looked miserable Seokjin and said “I will allow you.” he gave him the space to enter in and watched poor man slip inside hastily.

As everybody walked in they saw Jungkook, peacefully sleeping in white bed. Tubes in his hand, machines around him, oxygen mask covering his innocent face, a gauze wounded around his head. His hands one above the other, unmoving, still, covered In dressed stitches. This must be from all the brutal fights he must've faced.

Seokjin's eyes were swaying on both relief and worry. Worry for his Jungkook who looked like a lying statue, his eyelids were still as stone, if not had been his his chest heaving subtly, he would've looked like his having an eternal sleep. And relief washed over Seokjin for how long Jungkook would've been running and hiding, it must be so tiring, finally he is lying down on not a rough surface. Away from worries of his company, debts and his lover's frail health. He deserves to breathe peacefully and be away from troubles. He deserves best health too, Seokjin wished to trade the place with Jungkook, and prayed to the God silently.

His eyes never left him, those eyes were hungry, eager and his lover looked so calm away from chaos here.  Jungkook looked as if he'd wake up now with the biggest smile, would take him in arms and say ‘I've solved my troubles, no more running. It's now time for our forever’ and seokjin smiled in his own conversations while what his uncle and doctor were speaking mingled into whiteness of this room, everything felt invisible and silent while his Jungkook shone like a heaven touched him.

Seokjin wants to sleep beside him count every little scratches on his face, want to catch him moving and when he does, he wants to wake him up with warmest hug, taking him by surprise and then feel pride in himself for he put Seokjin out of death by being close to death himself.

But doctor's words suddenly fell in his ears and he was brought back into reality, his smile faltering. “The wound is aggressive. It has cracked his skull, rupturing the nerves. If he survives the 48 hours then there are chances that he might wake up but testing our patience for this accident have chances to let them go in long comas and if not survives the given time, then—” he gave a vague sigh and his lips turned into line. 

“Jungkook's health weighs more onto which side doctor?” Uncle asked.

Seokjin closed his eyes tight, wanting to run away where he hears nothing of this world. “The accident was harsh and it wouldn't leave him so soon. I shall say prayers are the best medicines at this time.”

Seokjin pressed his lips together, his eyes shimmering in shiny water. He bit his lip harshly.

He took support of Jimin as his legs trembled, giving up on him, Jimin turned his head swiftly and twirled his arm around Seokjin to keep him from crumbling down. “Seokjin?” uncle quickly ran to him.

“I'm not feeling well.” and he saw blackness engulfing him but Jungkook didn't woke up to carry him like he used to.

---

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