Jeon Jungkook surely felt humbled towards his life on rare occurrence of time when woke up without tears wetting his cheeks, half dried up and other rolling to ears and damping his cushions. When he slept but didn't woke up tired, worn out. He didn't had any nightmares as an unwilling guest or he wasn't abruptly jolted up through harsh breathing and anxiety that pounces on him anytime like a sleep paralysis demon. He loved when he wakes up normal. And good day starts from right there.

He found that he didn't received any messages that he least waits for. And felt grateful when when nobody with the faces that he despises, showed up in his office. Oh I should make a personal diary just to write about today.

Something in him might trivial yet felt good. It was still left, a sense in his body to enjoy something. Or maybe he was just basking himself in goodness that he learned to see through small mere things.

It was as usual a slow day in work, so he decided to lurk out for nothing. He putted hands in pocket and walked on the road.

A sigh like a free bird came through him, when the wind passed, no harsh sun rays, no heatwaves, just a perfect day for him to admire.

And someone bumped into his shoulder giving him a sense of annoy, "Have a side." He coldly remarked and walked further without giving that person any glance.

But his steps halted on it's own when that familiar sound of wheels reached his ears. He turned on his heels to see beautiful boy standing, staring right at back at him with the earphone unplugged in of his one ear, hanging near chest.

His countenance screened offended. "Jeon Jungkook." boy whined, humph, pacing to the person he named. Jungkook would want to run away for the way those tingles slathered on his body yet he stood there stupefied as if a magnet didn't let him go away. Seokjin just took his name! Then why his heart is getting so feraled.

"You didn't recognized me? How come you can pass through me as if I am a stranger? I'm disappointed in you." he stepped little close to Jungkook and removed the earphone from his ear and kept it inside his carry bag, his other hand, holding the long handle of oxygen bag sitting on road.

Jungkook, who didn't knew what he should say, cleared his throat. "Where are you lurking, oxygen boy?" Seokjin's mouth turned more down in upset and looked at him in disbelief.

"Oxygen boy!? Don't tell me you forgot my name?" he glared. "I thought we were friends."

"Of course, I know your name." Jungkook stated. "Min Seokjun, right?" he confidently kept on the table.

Seokjin deadpanned, "What?"

"Oh, it's not?-let me take a guess." he really loved to pull the pisser out of Seokjin who was emitting some adorable angry faces. Jungkook acted to think. "Umm~ ah! Got it, Seokjung."

Seokjin couldn't help but pass through him with muttering incoherents that showed his upset and walked away, causing Jungkook to turn to him and run behind to catch that boy.

After they shared their numbers, Seokjin really tried hard to get them both on terms of best friends through bombarding him with messages, missed calls, some memes and voice messages too. First it really annoyed Jungkook, he was about to block him but that man with an aura where you can't simply ignore him or least say 'no' didn't let Jungkook delete him out.
Well, next day it felt a bit nice and guilty to see that Seokjin was still trying to get a message back from Jungkook who kept him on read. Then he decided whenever he'd meet Seokjin in person, he won't ignore him anymore. He would heartily accept to be his friend. Jungkook realized that he wouldn't get any more adoring friend than this Kim Seokjin.

"Kim Seokjin! Kim Seokjin!" he held the strap of seokjin's side bag while calling his name again and again to prove he remembers, causing the oxygen boy to stop. "I was kidding Seokjin, you get upset so quickly." he tittered.

"Of course I'm angry and upset, I tried so hard to be friends with you and you ignored my texts. Now pretended to forget my name. Just tell me you wanna shoo me away, and before you say, I'll doing it myself." he again tried to walk again but Jungkook looped his hand around his shoulder that squeezed the smaller man and walked beside him.

"Teasing happens between friends, doesn't it?"

"But you hate to be my friend."

"If that, then I wouldn't be walking with you this way, now would we?"

Seokjin's eyes lit, "So we are friends?"

Jungkook nodded, his smile getting wider as seokjin's face turned bright. He didn't yanked Jungkook's hand away as he first tried and walked side by side happily.

"You didn't told me, where are you going?" Jungkook asked the question he earlier.

"I just refilled my ai-ni today. So uncle gave me permission to hang out. I like to walk on streets alone." Jungkook hummed but his brows furrowed. "Uncle?" he asked as he didn't knew anything about Seokjin.

Seokjin suck his lips in straight line. "I don't have parents. They passed away long back. I'm staying with my uncle." Jungkook lowered his head and muttered sorry. Lifting up the mood, he spoke up, "Let's go to the new café opened near my office. Then let me take you places that I adore. would you come with me?"

"Yes, let's go!"

"Wait, what's with this oxygen boy that you called me?" he gave a push with his elbow to the taller man.

"Sorry, sorry."

----

They had their days in amusement parks, cafés, gardens, movie theaters, dinners and many small secret hideouts they knew and shared.

Days turned into two months where they would join the council together, sometimes bunk it and make a quick on time plan to run away somewhere. They just made days lively and fresh.

Increasingly, Jungkook's panic attack and anxiety decreased. He didn't had any nightmares anymore all of the courtesy he kept on Seokjin. Even though the things that were to needed to be managed in his life remained the same, just he learned to take it lightly and push it in back of it's head, better calming himself to deal with it later so he could enjoy the given good time bestowed upon him through bubbly Seokjin. He could see that he isn't the only one with cheek paining purposeful smile, but Seokjin was with him on the boat as well.

He would love to go anywhere, the place this boy would come up with. He wouldn't take his vibrant mouth as annoying blabber anymore. It felt good to hear him.

The sessions was boring, but once he tried to give it try and attended. There he found an interesting creature that turned to be his bestest friend.

Days were there where Seokjin had pain in throat, in head, numbness in body, whole days stuffed up with scans minor or major check ups. Changes in the doze of his medicines, doubling of injections that sucked out all energy out him and got him limping home. But he would sort such days like a small tire punctures or speed breaks in the lovely journey. More better were those to turn when Jungkook stayed beside him.

"Hey, don't drink much. I can't carry you and my ai-ni together." Seokjin spoke, pulling away the can from Jeon's lip's before giving warning and retreated his hand back.

"I don't get high on beers. Don't worry." Reassured Jungkook, sipping from the golden colored liquid. Staring out of window from his car, where they were enjoying the city lights.

Seokjin stared at him, his eyes contemplating if he should speak or not. He has something inside him to ask but instead he kept on biting nails. Jungkook would be a direct and a bold mouth if he had anything in his mind, so Seokjin is just copying him.

"You aren't depressed just by your father's death, are you?" his lips sealed up as Jeon looked at him. Jungkook was a man who would intimidate you no matter how close you are to him.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"I just had this feeling." Seokjin shrugged. "A man like you." he felt those deep eyes on him again, but he decided to proceed, "who has so many piercings, tattoos, cigarette in mouth, strong alcohol addiction, bad-blunt mouthed, cold heart couldn't be just worried by death of any, you didn't followed your father when he was alive then his going shouldn't be that concerning. You once told me your father was a strict man who was hard head in showing love, So I just assumed. Sorry if it offend you. I didn't mean to." he said last sentence with a quick rapid tone.

Seokjin gazed at Jungkook who was a silent mouth, increasing the nervousness in him that was into dust second's later when Jungkook spat a chuckle. "I think you read too many of stories where bad guy has defied all attachments from his family and chose a path of being filthy character."

Seokjin laughed little, "Yes, I do read bundles of such stories, now tell me, did I assumed wrong? If yes then I am-"

"Of course I am not depressed by him. I'd rather say it's fifty-fifty."

"Hm?" Seokjin asked question through his eyes.

"He was good father well couldn't be better. A hideous man with hard hands for slap I would say. He would beat me to knuckles or slit my throat in those rough slaps when I dismissed his order to overtake the company. I didn't wanted to be a man who is tethered by time and rules, like he was, damn he had checks of handsome amounts as his salary but never a sound sleep nor a day off to look after himself or spend some money on things that he liked. He just stored them

Then, then...he said goodbye to us. My brother was a cunning bastard, he understood before me that dad's gonna lock us in his own pursue of bundle of demanding high dreams. Brother was much older than me, he understood his way and slipped out of dad's hands, leaving me behind. Though I was a spoiled child with all bad reputation up in my sleeves and hopeless too but a little work done on me had me bounded to his chair while he hanging in the photos and a memorial statue made in the company. Man, he had good life, just that he didn't know.

I was just a boy who loved drinking, marrying the addictive dangers like cigarettes and other stuffs that would definitely sort me in impure, foul. I loved tattoos, piercings, making out with hot eye candies to be precise a playboy, that once dad caught me behind my school's alley with a girl and he dragged me in front of every students by ear, like I was on any minute away from a trial of execution. I swore out of shame that any way my dad says but save me from such shame henceforth." he tittered. His eyes looked little droopy.

"Then?"

"Then, I became a puppet to my ventriloquist company for more than two years. But, then I suddenly felt a spark from reminiscing my old free bird like days. After odious meetings, signing headache amount of papers, coming home to see in couple of hours it's another morning with same routine to follow-I realized it's all the same day I'm existing into which totally gave me anxiety. I had to abandon my earrings, makeup my tattoos to give me a meek gentleman look which I was far below from. Leave behind love for painting, photography, dance. Everything I loved, just abjured me, leaving me with loads of company work that sounded and looked all gray colored." his voice fell more deeper and combrouce, causing Seokjin to look at him with his eyes softening.

"I renounced. Went back to my old deviant habits just back at being that arse, which I honestly loved that time. No worries to hold. I told myself that dad is gone, so is his company. If he isn't here then who am I fearing of and wasting my young years. I rejected seeing the company, the meetings, the people that reminded me to go back. My dad's old partners, Well-wishers, relatives cursed me for making a clown out of my dad's company and his dreams just for this disgusting injections I starting to shot up in my hands."

Seokjin gasped, his eyes wide and horrored. "Drugs?"

"Don't dare give that face Seokjin. You look like a mother." Jungkook rolled his eyes, shifting more into backseat of car. Seokjin saw how stiff and cold Jungkook turned as more he proceeded to talk.

"I did good job being a stoic and ignoring all boomers who were becoming a temporary dad, brother, teacher for my good, but their waste. I threw them all away as if a bunch of buzzing flies. And In matter of time company fell, the company that was made by a strong bricks fell like a castle of cards. Everything dawned at me after came to conscious. I felt like caught in a riptide, when I descried on what rubble I caused to my dad's accorded virtue on me. When I woke up from my filthy love for waste addictions, the destruction I caused came like a cold wave of water crashing up in a middle of my restful sleep. I pulled my hairs, messed my house and still ran onto grab things that seemed to be in my hands, while still I could but it all slipped away comically." His eyes turned glassy, but his cheeks were dry. He was a master of holding all things up inside.

"I turned into fluttering bird in storm, drowning with no knowledge of saving himself. I took some help from other companies, even underworld mafias when needed, only to be a pal of new burden called debts. Every leeway squeezed into hard rocks, crashing me. In upon all this hysteria, I lost my sense of stability. Waking up in anxiety, in pool of tears, seeing my parents in sleep. Un urge to hurt myself increased. I found me in a strange plethora of feelings that were all horrible it stung me." the can of fuzzed beer became untouched. His eyes never met Seokjin and in the late evening, his eyes turned more darker and glossier that seokjin's eyes could school every single hint of hidden emotions. The regret, anger, disgust. It all directed towards himself. He refuted to look at Seokjin as if he was a mirror. Seokjin tilted his head to see more face of Jeon who's face was on other side, staring at quite location out of window through the backseat, his legs resting on the head of driver's seat.

"I attended depression council for I needed a small relief from whatever was going inside and around me. But, I understood, when our life if is ruined by others, we are to grief but the blame must be thrusted on doers, emptying our hearts, cursing them and sooner or later, in matter of time, it'd heal but when we are our own enemy, the blame, the self loathe, the desperate request, urge to forgive ourselves is all loaded in ones heart like a poison, bitterly and slowly killing us in the end, might be there's no cure."

Kim Seokjin hurriedly wiped his own tears when he tried measure the stretch of pain this man beside him was stuffing in his heart, his own beating organ pained.

"I gladly left my addictions in no time, but this mental unstablity ran into me. Depression sat on my head like a gruesome, vicious ghost.

Somehow the fistful amount of debt is paid through auctions of properties, few overseas business, and even some of personal possessions, while more is to give. But that's not the concern anymore. It just slaps me hard on face when I'm compared to my father who was a remarkable man and me a lowlife pest, dared to touch the golden company, now turned into rusty iron as all had feared. Everybody except my dad saw it coming.

I'm glad that he is gone, for he would've died a sour death by looking what his bastard son has gotten into. But then I fear in thought that he must be now in netherworld, cursing me, regretting, why he didn't disowned me when he was alive." another humorless tittered rung in silence of car.

"You know I'm such a coward. When my mom died, just before that I quarreled with her and ran away when to face her funeral. And when my dad died, I didn't attended the funeral yet again and you know what did I do?"

"What?"

"I ran away again." he laughed painfully and stared at Seokjin and his eyes flicked little softness when he saw how Seokjin never gave him a look of disgust. He never looked down at him that he frets.

"They'll never forgive me. My parents or my brother who once I punched him in face and refuted him as my brother. They all would never forgive me."

"They know you. You didn't mean to, they'll forgive you."

"The problem is, they didn't know me at all. Don't speak like you know me well Seokjin. I might have mean to hurt them." Jungkook recalled his impulsive reckless behavior when he was a teenager, more a repulsive boy.

Seokjin sighed heavily, as he was gulping down the words thinking to put himself in Jeon's shoes only to get a trailor of distress for how cruel it is of probably who? To get into such things, while feeling an urge to hug this man tighter.

A small sparkling tear sat on lower eyelash of Jungkook when he stared down at his lap. Seokjin held up his hand reaching out to take the tear on tip of his finger, wiping it. Jungkook kept himself from jolting at the sudden touch on his burning cheek, he glared at seokjin.

He gently yet yanked his hand away, "Don't pity me, Kim Seokjin, anyone but you." he coldly scolded. Seokjin flinched.

Oh so he doesn't like to be treated this way. He has brimming pride. I must remember this. He hates the pity. Seokjin thought, later apologizing.

"If you needed relief, why didn't you opened up to our councilor. Why here? I fear, I can't help." Seokjin bit his lower lip as he wanted something in himself capable to help him. He pushed himself back of seat and stared at starless sky.

"I dropped down the idea of taking help of someone who listens such stories everyday with just pitiful words to say. I say, she's been serving her empathy to many, by now it is worn out." he chuckled, seokjin looked at him and smiled. It's true.

Seokjin kept looking at man, causing Jungkook to stare right back at him as well. Jungkook's face withered and he took harsh breath. "Don't pity me, you. I don't like it, it makes me look like a loser." he shot a dead eyes to him.

Jungkook would dare say, he had stuffed his loser experience for almost years in his heart but it felt somewhere in him that took a sigh of relief. Seokjin was swaying between if it was good an idea to bring that question that led Jungkook to open up about his past and shed painful tears but looking how Jeon was crammed with his failures, reckless yet unintended actions and downfalls, grievous memories that he needed to put it all out just to see that there is someone who still is willing to be beside him.

And to show Jungkook that he is here with him to listen him and walk with him; Seokjin rested his head on Jeon's shoulder who tensed up for little time but thawed when he saw that even after showing his black side, someone is still staying right near him.

"I'm here for you." that innocent beautiful boy whispered.