Stars fall from the beautiful sky...is it because of the luck they bring?

Seokjin woke up from the torment through the coldest, health wrecking morning. He was alone in his bed, calling out a name in the air, only to find his kook to be gone.

Staring all around the bedroom through his degenerating eyes, seeing all the fretful still whiteness of this room, it gave him an ungraceful whimpers. His face grew hot, red,   trembling in his palms, his lips nearly bruised by chewing on it, unshed tears getting boiled on surface of his eyes.

One loud breath exhaled, breaking down his human hair like restrain and poured out all bitter feelings, all black and gray in him through his detoriating wails. He plucked out the IV drip harshly, the sting he bit down and scrambled the blanket away, wobbling downstairs.

“Where's he?” “Where is he?” he reiterated, his voice in aghast. Oh his eyes miserably running around the house.

“He's gone. Jin. He left when you were asleep.” Jimin spoke, sprinting from the kitchen, not trying to make up some lies in hopes would get Jin calmed but then those empty hopes might break him more severe later. His hands steady in the air as he saw Jin swirling around himself, and about to grab him but Jin stumbled back, avoiding any touch.  

His eyes glistened in anger and sorrow “Gone? Wasn't that suppose my nightmare?” he asked about his own nightmares to others. “I know he is here! Bring him to me, he told me about his leaving but in my dream. It's not real. No he didn't come here just to leave. I can surely say, that was all in my dream!” he vigorously shook his head, confusing the reality with the dream. His hairs ruffled, silky strings stuck on his teary wet face.

He refused to look at their eyes for they gave him stares like he was on the deathbed already, or like he was stranded alone in the middle of his wedding.

Those stares winced him.

“Jimin-ah!” he humphed in an utter exhaust, emotionally drained. “You, tell me—where is he? Don't joke around  huh!” he fake smiled in tears, walking to him. “You don't understand, There's danger out there, I need to bring him back and hide him!” he wailed, jerking Jimin's arms.

“From whom? and where you'll hide that big detestable, troubled man!” Jimin didn't mean to degrade that stranger for him but he did just to let Jin see Jungkook's bad side, suspected by his running away and coming here with strange wounds. He did it so he wanted Seokjin to drop this demand on him, like those kids who choose the handsomest gifts but refuse them when it's devalued. However nobody was a kid here and that made jin to push everyone's opinion away.

“With me! I'll hide him in here, close to my side.” he looked serious in being childish, nothing he spoke of meaningful, just blabbering something out of hazed mind brought by this guy again, Jungkook.  

Jimin silenced himself in pity. 

“Hide him from people like you who demeaning him, without knowing him.” he swayed on his legs and gathered himself into the corner. “He shouldn't be out, it's so cold, he must be starving, sleepless. He has nobody but me! He'll be lonely...” he bit his lip in restlessness. 

“Jin-ah!” uncle sterned, springing from the sofa, this sentimental drama playing before him started to sting his eyes. “Don't be careless. Stop this, go back to your room, take your medicines and have rest. Jimin, Put his iv back.” He tried to grab his arm but Seokjin slipped out.

“First-bring-him-to-me!”  he spoke out in persist, each word with a pause to be clear.

“Just go, jin. I say. Jungkook is paying for wrong sides he turned to. He looks exactly like what he does!”

“Do you even know what he does?”

“Bet it isn't justifiable and I don't care.”

Jin scowled.

“Let him be, wherever he wanders. I can't see you avoiding your own health over that troublemaker, brawler guy!” he spat.

“Uncle you are too cold. Don't speak of him that way.” Jin cried, shutting his eyes, closing his ears, taking uncle aback who saw jin gritting his teeth. Jimin was passing glances of worry on them, his hands as steady as before.

“I won't accept any of such words for him and I won't accept any treatments as well.” he harsh breathed. “Just let me die.” he added.

“Kim Seokjin!”

Seokjin dropped on the floor like  featherless, injured bird, panicking his uncle and cousin.

As they gathered over him, he didn't say something of his own fading health but “Jungkook...he might be in danger!” he gasped out weakly and his eyes became heavy but before driving into horrored sleep he whispered. “Call him, from—my phone. He'll pick it up—won't ignore me—h-he loves me.” he wanted to deny this exhaustion and run out to get hold of his love but the large wave of unconscious drifted him away into nothingness.

------

“How's he, doctor?” Uncle asked, his face pale.  

“This illness in him is just on borderline before it get worst. Good news is he can be cured in surety, the chances are very high. But the thing is—unfortunately, he doesn't wanna live and that puts away all the medicines, therapies, treatments into the trash. Nothing works when his will is weakling no matter if you force pills down his throat or bring him finest ways of cure be it mystical, traditional. If only you can find a reason in him to continue this life, or ignite hope in him on this life then everything is in the favor to defeat ailment.”

Uncle shook his head, confused on what's good news and bad news in this. “The reason of his strong will has it's own turmoil killing him.” Uncle's brow arched down as he saw his nephew's tears rolling out from his sleeping eyes with brows tensioned for some nightmare he might be having.

“I'll write him few medicines and shall bring a psychiatrist. That's all I can do.” 

Uncle thanked him and escorted him out.

Uncle standing on the threshold, saw the tree with few leaves dreamlessly swaying in the tune of winds.

He could just hang there this useless Jungkook and would successfully save his nephew. Not an ego to be his huddle nor the dislike rose in him for Jungkook that keeps him from finding that boy, but he doesn't know how to bring that troubled guy from the lost world he is running in.

“I am sorry Sooyoung noona, for I couldn't raise your son in a way you wished, forgive your brother.” he spoke to the air.

•

Days turned into two weeks.

There was neither decline nor any progress seen in Seokjin's health. Just he was there to show he is breathing for nothing, counting days just to end. Eating for it was feed in the name of Jungkook or his mother and sleeping for it was just a temporary escape from his thoughts and drying heart. Besides that, there was no pleasure of joy in him. Nothing brings him those happy blooms in his lonely garden anymore.

He pitied Jimin and uncle who did their best to get him good time, get him his favorite movies, comics,  novels, few nice decent happiness. But as if it would help him. Soon, they stopped for it didn't bring them desired reaction, those all presents were stranded on side of Seokjin's table, untouched. 

Jimin never phoned his lover whenever he was in with Seokjin. He thought it would affect him but Seokjin could least care for it as no one or nothing around him could match, give, pass the replicate lovely aura that radiated through Jungkook's face, love, conversations. He is an unmatched magical human stumbled in Seokjin's life now totally being a king reigning his heart, even when he isn't present here, his memories work as regent.  

Jimin would meet Namjoon sneaking out into the garden, unknown that Jin's sight could catch them through the window. They Standing there, kissing behind that lean tree that barely hid them and sharing few lovely talks in the fresh air. Jimin probably telling his boyfriend how miserable his cousin is turning into, so burdening, so overbearing.

But no it never affected Seokjin let alone have envious feeling for them, but yet somewhere it aches him to see how love sees every one of them in this world but him.

‘Flowers bloom all four seasons knowing everything in the world.
    But they never answered why my love failed.
    If they Knew, they'd bring me luck in love, or better my lost lover.’ 

He read this once in some sad novel. Scoffing subtly as if the book was mocking him, knowing well he picked this book aware it has sad ending.

He wants to ask those flowers he sees through his window, how can they live so long and yet not complain? Would always be fresh and lively. Isn't it tiring in this rude world? But then he knew, these flowers have a loveful guests visiting them. Butterflies dances around them to show gratitude and affection, winds kiss them. They have reason to go on.

He envies them.

There he sees that tree, ungrateful for  other but lovely to him—standing there, Lonely yet stands.

When will all those leaves fall? They're few so he must start counting his days. Will he be lucky to meet his Jungkook in mid of his numbered days?

A long hope with little to live.

There his eyes caught a leaf falling down. sixty-three left. He had counted all of them, have been doing that to kill the time. They weren't numerous to need reconfirmation again and again on how little are amount is left. Soon they'll be down one by one while he'll be rooting for them.

He closed his eyes and drove to sleep.

Opened those pair of brown pools and saw—fifty left.

“When I was living, all the hopes died, now when I wanna die, there's a small hope called Jungkook, out there, running in mayhem, lost but lovely. I can't believe, I existed my whole life living in the wrong moments.” 

-
-

“Jimin look only ten left!” he beamed like his dear husband's letter arrived from the military.

“And you're smiling for that?” Jimin asked in disbelief, turning his face fully to him. “Jinnie, what if—what if you'll see healthy Jungkook defeating his troubles, running to you when all leaves has fallen and you waiting for your end? What would you do?” he waited for Seokjin to show some signs on this possiblity and start to think other way around.

“I'll die happily.” he smiled again. “most peaceful sleep I'll ever wish for.” He would ardently wish for this.

“Wouldn't you want to live more with Jungkook?”

“If he is out of his own troubles before all the leaves have fallen then I would love to, but till then I'm a loner, love deprived who sees death to be the only way. He is here, so death is who I chose my partner to be.”

Jimin opened his mouth only to closed it down. There was no way he could win any converse against heartbroken human.

“You can't be this unnerving Jin—at such young age!?”  

jin chuckled soundlessly. “Maybe if you were me and your Namjoon as Jungkook, then you wouldn't ask this.” His eyes never leaving the tree that was visible under the lit pole lamps in the garden. 

Jimin kept aside his medical study book. He can't imagine himself in that story, he doesn't want to know what would be the reason of death—by ailment or love deprived. To ask for his death that seems a peace when his lover is far away from him, in an unknown place. It occupies too much of his emotions to think of it.

“Your reports are clearer than before, you know that.”

“Yeah less troubles to you and uncle.” softly said jin.

Jimin couldn't continue this anymore. “You should sleep, it's past midnight now. I'll bring you some warm milk.”  Seokjin nodded and brought up a book from under his blanket, guiding to the page through bookmark.

“Honey is collected, merrier this time.  
    A deaf receives some of the prettiest flowers—
    but how can they be content, when honey comes with a sting and flowers would never sing?”

He recited a poem from one of his certain melancholic books he's into, that had the story made out of angst but leading to a happy ending—giving jin hope that miracle might turn the impossible. The peom wasn't melodious to Jimin's ear, he hopped out of the chair and walked out to fetch jin some warm milk that could put him to sleep. For Jimin, Jin is the most dearest and beautiful creature in this world, but now only when he is sleeping.
-
-
-
“Jin, Jin! What happened?” Jimin came running, spilling some milk here and there to see Jin crying over the phone.

“it's Kookie's phone!” he exclaimed, a smile blinding Jimin.

“My love.” Jungkook spoke, his hand instinctly resting on his heart. “Do you miss me? Are you doing well?” his voice wavered. His eyes blurring by tears.

“Yes I am doing well in missing you.” jin cried. Jeon chuckled, spilling tears.

Seokjin held onto the phone like his life depended on it. “You aren't hurt right, kookie? Did you eat? Please tell me you're doing good. Where are you right now?” everything in one breath.

Jungkook didn't have plenty time, probably half of minute earned between two wags of knives. His voice seemed quick, rigid, and hushed. His hand placed on the glass of phone booth, staining it with blood. He kept his eyes alerted all around as he held the payphone tightly, whispering. “I love you Jin, so much.” his smile could be heard . 

“I love you too.” jin sobbed, nodding his head, oh his smile ever so lovely.

“You sound good. Jin. Glad to hear it.” Jin's smile failed.

“Jungkook~” he sobbed, again.

“Jin?”

“I am not good. Come to see me, if it's possible.” he placed his hand on palm to suppress a long wail.

“I wish I could.” he knows that this decline in seokjin must be because of his dying will but Jungkook has his own shackles.

“Then please be safe.” his voice cracked and panickly clung on phone when his Jungkook ended the call.

----

Only four leaves left. He counted five times.

Is it that he'll die by this evening? or tomorrow morning will be his last sunrise to witness? Or he'll be saying goodbye when the moon?

Anyway, he's waiting.

Uncle weren't yet brought to believe in this leaves' theory neither Jimin. They believed those hospital reports that never said Seokjin could be on death bed anywhere near. So why are they to cry upon Seokjin's health? or should they worry for the falling of leaves that they don't believe in?

Even at their persist hearts, a small glimpse of fear retaliated, when Seokjin bled through nose, confining him to bed for a day and night, his conscious swaying. Perhaps too much attached to that tree, that he can write his own end? Is that possible? They couldn't believe on it on so decided to it leave on fate.

With confusion, Seokjin saw the morning. Saw the sunrise with a very puzzled eyes. How come the leaves so hard headed with that delicate body in such harsh winds. He grimaced.

Pills were denied but were happily gulped later when Jimin barged to his room with Seokjin's phone in his hand saying it's Jungkook's call but only given when pills are taken and so Seokjin slid those down.

Snatching the phone, he answered with his heart on the highest cloud. “Jungkook-ah~” Jungkook already teared as seokjin addressed him the way his mother used to...

“Jinnie.”

Seokjin felt replenished. The smile that disappeaed into the dark woods finally was found. Jimin quit all the ideas developing in him to get a smile from his cousin as he now already saw the most precious one—Courtesy of Jungkook.

“I am in great confusion.” Jungkook's voice sounded in harsh breathe with a hint of vulnerable. “Should I leave this running, this hiding and pay them all of the money? I can't take this staying away from you anymore. Life feels ruthless.” Seokjin smiled apologetically. He kept himself from asking where Jungkook is right now as he mustn't be any comfortable place but a harsh hidings.

“How will you pay?” Seokjin asked, blinking away tears.

With wavering sigh Jungkook said, “By selling away my company. I have nothing else than that.” half hearted it was.

“Jungkook are you serious?” Jin gulped the loud baffled voice. This whole situation was out of his knowledge but selling away late father's dear will sounded quite emotionally repressed and that when Jungkook had turned heaven and hell into one, lost his good years of life to save the bits of company.

“I can't say much in this but rather you listen to what your heart says.”

“My heart says nothing. It's tired.” Jeon grimaced. “Seokjin, selling my company means failing my father too. He wouldn't even rest in heaven seeing me doing this. He wanted me to cherish this company and pass it down to my child. He wouldn't want to me do this. ” last line was a heavy mumble, contradicting to the decision he decided to make earlier.

“Jungkook” Jin was out of suggestions or any mature helpful ideas. “I will always love you no matter what.” he said what was the easiest, honest, loveliest and dearest answer he could find.

“And I will too.” His face cracked into smile that caught him in an overwhelm. Forgetting his own whirlpool of confusion and great unforgiving decisions he made in past, he rather dismissed this  discussion. 

“Now jin tell me...” he sighed loudly. “How, how many leaves are left?”

Jin's smile faltered. “You don't need to know. You don't even believe in me, do you?”

“Just tell me goddammit!” Jungkook  regretted his rough voice and apologized for his harsh bark.

“Maybe but few.” Seokjin gave a shrug through his shivering shoulders.

“I know you count them every day and night. Give me the exact number.”

“F-four.” his voice cracked when he gloomily realized the little time has left, an unforgivable, harsh reminder of that in the middle of his good time, a rare time when he appreciated life.

“Hmm.” it was almost inaudible sound from Jungkook.

Jin breathed out harshly and bit his lip at such soulless reaction given but didn't know about the tears being gulped back by Jungkook.

“Now What? what will you do? Knowing that I have a day or two left. What would do to save this crumbling life of ours!?” he cried.

“Who is to blame here—Seokjin?”

“Jungkook.” Seokjin tiredly sobbed. “I don't know who should be blamed for such a hard time, but I can't take you this way, in this all constant mess—it hurts. You shouldn't end like this, you don't deserve to end in miserable way, please save something. How long will you run away—from yourself!? Atleast do face yourself. Do something right this time, don't succumb to bad. Your mother, father, brother a-and I would never be at peace knowing you cry alone.” he faltered on the bed as his shaky legs couldn't let him sit for much time. Jungkook captured his mouth to palm it, keeping a long cry in.

“It hurts me to see you calling me Just to say something that would leave me to cry to death.” 

“Then I'll call you when I am facing myself.”

“I don't have much time left...”

“Don't be like that. You'll live.” he begged but his voice adamant. “Seokjin, I'm exhausted, I am done. I can easily give myself to them and watch them taking me apart limb by limb—while I'd be thankful for that. But I hold myself, I take efforts to live—so I can watch you getting in good health! I am begging to the heavens and you as well, stop giving your life such small worth. Things will take turn into beautiful!—”

“Without you! I bet it would never!” Seokjin ended the call on Jungkook's desperate voice. He curled himself into the blanket, hiccupping loudly. He knows he would regret hanging up phone on Jeon's words but they weren't calming him and he would right now appreciate his own blabber, loud mind or gloomy heart than Jungkook's weak voice.

-
-
-

“Do something right this time.”

This reverberated inside the Jungkook’s psyche, nerves, cells. Nobody had ever pulled strings in him that could burn him to let himself choose the right path than to just snort and arrogant himself yet again.

He knew whenever somebody showed him an advice of light rather he would come back haughty, would go the way where they daren't him not. He was rebellious but things change like they must, so do the people. He's willing to change now. 

He knew what could make his infernal life little tender. He had this proclivity to show himself worthed in the eyes of someone who had been patient with him even when he showed his evil cards by his bloody hands, when he was an impulsive, bad turning, violent, vicious, brutal mouth, rude, ungrateful lad who spitted the dirtiest water on his own family and good wishers. Seokjin was patient, unjudged, kind, waiting with an open arms full of love when Jungkook completed his hellish story.

His head lifted see to the dreamy colored sky this evening casted.

“Sunset is so sublime, yet sadly it is in it's demise.”
he spoke to the sky, sharing some pity with a wavering a long loud sigh.

This was a jiff in his life that blinked him, lit his mundane heart to love his Seokjin even after the death. Right now when he needs to be with Seokjin and take a swear to never leave his hand; is now here, hiding in stinking alleys.

Jungkook can get a little time from his busy running to harm, strangle himself for taking Seokjin's love like a greedy dog lapping on it like a demon of gluttony, his heart knowing he don't deserve any of that but couldn't stop and now he just phones his lover to talk about his own struggles rather than asking for Seokjin's agonized smiles, cries, crumbling health. Jungkook can't face himself anymore.

But he wants to change and he will.

There are things, he'll put it right even when his death is hanging above.
.
.
.

Seokjin woke up and saw those Leaves. He humphed. Those leaves stayed firm in the harsh winds that howled last night!? Why are they taking such a long time like some overdramatic daily soap? Just finish it already!

Days without Jungkook, with this tiring treatments, confined in one room is taking toll on him. He isn't strong willed, brave heart. He doesn't have any strength to endure this.

Oh he just wanted to have smooth, simple life in his small garden.

He had this dream where he brings a bounty full of freshly plucked fruits through the blanket, from their very own flourishing garden, his hands graceful on fresh delicacies he cooks for his beloved Jungkook and enjoying every bit of it with their eyes locked under a humble spell of love. Their genuine laughter from Jungkook's brilliant humor seeping into ceilings, making it all homely and their serene, sweet life in this small secluded place where world isn't needed to this soulmates. Well, dreams are always beautiful until we wake up or never get opportunity to make it real.

He slept after endless turns and restless wiggles.

Woke up—Brazen leaves still there.

He checked the low battery phone to his greatest disappointment that no call showed up.

What he should do now? Sit like prince of a headache and watch Jimin serve to his superiority out of pity. What new he has got anyways, his eye sight is getting weak, his bones alike an  hundred year old man.

The winter winds howled like wolves in rage. One leaf swayed down in midair while another piece of decent breeze blew it away. Three leaves left.

Will he survive this night?