Chapter 20:

My eyes surveyed the guest room in which I was staying in while visiting Louis.  Blank, white walls with the occasional painting. A plain wooden desk pushed up against the corner. Cold tile floors and a black rug. It was a extremely simple room, somewhere people would only spend a bit of time in.

I stared at the wall and let my mind wander. It'd been three days since I arrived in London with my sisters and mum. It wasn't exactly a busy three days, but they definitely were interesting. 

1. I remembered my accident and it wasn't exactly pleasant. 

2. I had an awkward dinner conversation with my family and 'boyfriend.' 

3. I got to talk to Josh and realized I just might not just look at him as a friend. 

4. I went out on a girl date with Juliet and Rosie and learned that they're not your typical girls. 

I also realized that memories is what life is based off of. 

When people spend time together, they spend quite a bit of time saying 'Remember when?' It was a door to conversation.

My phone alerted me of a new text.

From Josh

Hope you're having a good day! Just double checking.. Meeting at Nandos around four? 

To Josh:

Sounds good! See you then :)

My stomach flopped as I reread the texts. It was an unsettling feeling. I felt as though I was cheating on Niall, but there was something about Josh that drew me towards him. It was all quite confusing.

It was like there were two sides to my heart. Well, three if you counted my undying love to Taylor Lautner, but since I didn't know him.. I guess we'll forget about that for now.

I've been drawn to Niall since I met him. Those captivating crystal blue eyes, his adorable braces smile, his contagious laugh. He was so patient with me. Considering he lost his girlfriend, he was pretty calm. I wanted to pretend to just remember everything. Make it so it was like it was before my accident just so I knew he wasn't worrying about me anymore.

But then there was Josh. It was nice, to know that he was a friend that *I* made. He didn't show up and start telling me who he was and about all these memories we had together. There were probably small memories I had with him, but nothing major. Josh had been there for me, he listened to me rant about practically everything.

My heart was torn between the two. I was apart of a tug-of-war match, Josh and Niall each holding a side. The second I would feel myself getting specifically drawn to Niall, Josh would jerk violently on the rope and do something incredibly cute. But then Niall would yank back, with an adorable act of love. 

The fact that I was upset over that two extremely attractive males were competing for my affection.. I guess there could be worse things in the world.. But it was hard. I didn't know what to do.

"Brook, get out here. I'm taking you and the girls shopping." Lou's voice rang through the thin wood of the door.

"Coming." I yelled as I heaved myself off the bed. I slipped on some slippers and grabbed my purse.

"Why can't we go shopping?" Daisy whined as she tugged at Louis' shirt. 

"Because it's going to be boring for you. We'll get you both something, alright?" Lou smiled down at our two youngest siblings. They immediately nodded excitedly before running off to watch tv. Louis double-checked that Fizzie, Lottie and I were ready before we headed out the door.

"I have to be at the south Nandos by four." I informed him as I slid into the passenger seat of his new car. I'm horrible with car names, but it definitely looked fancy.

"Meeting someone special?" Lottie teased from the back. Fizzie laughed.

"Just Josh." I turned to roll my eyes at her and stick out my tongue. 

"Ooh, can I come? Josh is fit." Fizzie wiggled her eyebrows and Louis leaned over and smacked her lightly, while keeping his eyes on the road.

"He's also ten years older than you, Fizz." Louis reprimanded. A grin made it's way to my face as they got into a small argument over age. 

It was these kind of moments when I realized that family is everything.

~'~'~

"Hey, sorry I'm late.. Lottie found a new eye make-up and insisted on trying it on before we left." I said in a rush as I sat down at the table Josh had reserved for us. 

He grinned crookedly at me. "I literally just got here, it's all good."

"Okay, sweet." I smiled back before shrugging out of my jacket and placing it next to me and taking a deep breath.

"Hey, I forgot to ask you.. When do you leave again? There's a concert on Friday night and I wanted to know if you'd go with me. I think Niall and Liam mentioned going as well." Josh asked after we had both ordered and I was fiddling with the paper from the straw.

"I think we leave on Sunday.. I love London though, I don't think I want to leave! I'd love to go to the concert with you, now.. Who's doing the concert?" 

"Well, you know the iTunes festival starts off on Thursday. Ed Sheeran is performing on Friday." Josh explained. 

"I'll pretend to know who that is." I laughed. "But that sounds pretty awesome."

"Sweet. I can pick you up around two?" Josh offered. 

My heart clenched.

If Niall was going.. I didn't want to hurt the blonde Irishman if I went with Josh. Ugh, why was everything so confusing?

"Uh, you said Liam and Niall are going right? I can ride with them, since you don't exactly live close, it'd save you from having to drive that far." I offered.

"Are you sure? I don't mind." Josh raised an eyebrow. 

I shook my head. "It'd be nice to hang out with Liam, I don't know him very well. Or.. Yeah." 

"Awesome." Josh smiled.

Why did I feel so guilty?