Alina

Grytia – Early Autumn

A new red moon peeked out between thin clouds, announcing the start of autumn. Alina sat on her blue padded bench by the window, silently petting Snowball, while the several wooden chests crowding the floor behind her remained untouched.

When Tristan returned from Vausterland earlier today, he had not come to see her, which was no surprise. But what really fazed her was the fact that he had sent a party of servants to her room, carrying chests loaded with gifts. Did he really think he could buy her back with such cheap means?

Well he could try all he wanted. She was not going to forgive him, ever. It was what she had decided. She would never yield. She would continue to bury deep any hint of longing she might feel for him, and to keep shutting him off, forever.

And yet, when the door to her room creaked open behind her, and the familiar scent of warm sandalwood reached her, it took all her willpower not to turn around and throw herself into his arms. Even he did not give her a chance to brace herself. And before she knew it, his thudding footsteps had brought him right behind her, and his arms claimed her, closing around her while he buried his face into her hair.

Alina couldn't pull away, not because he restrained her, but because her whole body had turned limp within his hold, and all her earlier thoughts of resistance fled her.

Tristan did not speak. And Alina did not speak either. She could not trust her voice not to break and betray her. And so she just sat still as Tristan continued to hold her, with only the sounds of their heavy breathing disturbing the long silence.

His arms finally left her, and he turned her around to face him, his black eyes filled with endless warmth.

"I know you hate me," he said, his voice so tender yet so deep, making her heart pound.

I don't hate you. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to scream it out. She loved him so much that it seemed impossible to ever hate him, no matter how much he had hurt her.

"I know that whatever I say now will never undo the hurt I have caused you." He held her hands and took in a deep breath. "But I just want you to know, that it was never my intention to hurt you. And that I love you."

Tears suddenly streamed down her face, burning hot tears that she had not foreseen. His hands reached up at once and cupped her face, his thumbs gently wiping her wet cheeks.

"Would it be too much if I ask you to forgive me?" he asked.

Alina lowered her head as more tears escaped her. She couldn't look at his face any longer, because one more moment and she would give in. She would give in and tell him that she had forgiven him, and that she loved him, and that she never wanted to leave him in the first place! But she couldn't simply do that. He had hurt her so much and she had vowed to never forgive him!

"Alina... I am going to leave Grytia again for a while," he said and she looked up at him despite herself, frustrated by the fact that he was going to leave again, when he had only just came back from Vausterland. "The King is sending me on a campaign to Brynhal. I am going to war, Alina. I want to know that you could at least forgive me, before I leave."

Alina's heart sank. A very similar situation replayed within her mind. Back in Nordenvania, two years ago. A man she had refused to forgive before he went to war, only to have him never come back. Mikal...

No. She would never let that happen with Tristan. The mere idea of him going to war and never coming back was unthinkable. She trembled and her lips quivered.

"I... don't know!" She found herself saying, tears of frustration soaking her face. "I don't know what to do!"

Tristan quickly held her hands. "Just forgive me," he said, his black eyes imploring her. "Forgive me. That's all you have to do."

"Forgive you? For what exactly? For breaking your promise to marry me? For breaking my heart? For choosing to support Sophia against me? For hitting me, and humiliating me, before everyone? That's quite a lot to forgive, Tristan!"

"I know." He lowered his head while leaning in closer to her. "I know it's a lot to ask. I know I've wronged you and hurt you, and that I don't deserve to be forgiven, but..." he sighed, apparently lost for words. Of course, what could he say? "Look, why don't we hold a truce?" He looked up at her, new hope shining within his black eyes.

"A truce?" She frowned at him in confusion.

"Yes. I am only staying here for a couple of days before we march to Brynhal. Let's forget about everything for now. Let's be together again, you and me, only for the few coming days until I leave for war. And when I come back, you can choose if you still want to continue hating me, or if you finally decide to forgive me."

That was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. Stupid and absurd. But it was perfect. Because she could finally give in to her heart's desire, yet at the same time she would retain the right to reject him if she wanted. She would spend the coming days in his loving arms. And when it was time for him to leave, they would part with memories of love and joy, not hate and pain.

"Alright," Alina said, sniffling and wiping away the last of her tears. "A truce then."

Tristan did not even give her a chance to blink, and the next moment he had grabbed her within his arms and landed his mouth onto hers with a hungry kiss...

The few days of their truce were not as blissful as she had hoped, because she had barely even seen him at all. It was difficult enough for Tristan to prepare for a campaign within such a short time, and so he spent the remaining days, and evenings as well, between the courtyard, the armory, and the council chamber. He would only show up at Alina's room late at night, completely worn out, and she would only hold him as he fell asleep in her arms.

It wasn't until the final night before the march, that Tristan remained awake. She could tell that he was nervous, even scared, despite his efforts to show otherwise.

"I wish this campaign ends quickly enough so I can make it back home before our child is born," Tristan said as he very carefully caressed the little bump that started showing within her belly.

"Brynhal is not a strong city," Alina smiled, her heart overflowing with warmth at Tristan's words. "I am certain you will be back early enough."

"And... are you going to forgive me then?"

"I haven't made up my mind yet." She shrugged and pouted, turning her face away from his hypnotizing gaze. Tristan only sighed lightly in response and pulled her closer between his arms, before he landed a kiss on her head.

It was a peaceful last night, which they quietly spent in each other's arms. They did not make love. There was no heated passion or lustful kisses. Only the warmth and security of pure affection.

***

It was still dark when Tristan left, leading his men to Brynhal. Alina couldn't go back to sleep, and neither could Alexander, who stayed up with her all morning. With Jared gone too, there was no need for Alexander to remain alone in his room, and so Tristan had him moved to Alina's chamber, where he could also keep her company.

They both sat on the floor, kneeling before one of the wooden chests that contained Tristan's still untouched gifts.

"Waah Alina these are gorgeous!" Alexander's mouth hung open as he took out the contents of the largest chest. Folds of crimson silk, blue velvet, black tulle, white chiffon, gold satin... all of the best and most expensive quality in Vausterland, usually reserved for royalty.

"Oh black organza! I have just the right dress idea for – oh shit and purple taffeta too! Fuck my head is so overcrowded with so many ideas it's going to explode!" Alexander's blue eyes sparkled with excitement every time he pulled out a different piece of cloth. "Well Lina, time to make you a new wardrobe. Especially that your belly is starting to get fat!" he teased.

Alina hurled a cushion at him in response, which he avoided with a snicker. However, his laughs suddenly stopped as they heard a timid knock at the door, followed by a timid looking Mira.

"Mira!" Alina beamed. She hadn't seen her friend for quite a while, ever since Sophia had appointed her as her personal servant. "Are you on a break or what?"

"Not exactly... actually I am here on Princess Sophia's orders."

"And what does the bitch want this time?" Alina frowned. She was quite aware of the game Sophia was playing, using Mira to spy on Alina. It was very obvious. Why would she choose Alina's best friend out of all the servants in the castle, to become her personal servant? Mira understood that as well. In fact, it was Mira who had warned Alina, or rather came to seek her advice on how to deal with that dilemma.

"Well then, come and see what Lord Tristan brought me." Alina smirked as she held up a fold of gold silk. "Oh I'd love to see the look on that bitch's face when you tell her what you saw here. And he got me a sapphire ring too, look!" Alina stretched out her hand where a large sapphire stone adorned her ring finger. Mira's eyes widened and she hurried to hold Alina's hand, ogling the precious stone.

"That will definitely make her go mad!" Mira said, and Alina laughed.

"Good, go tell her all about it then."

"Yes, of course, but..."

"What's wrong?" Alina frowned.

"In fact, she sent me to... umm..."Mira hesitated. "She... she wants Snowball."

Alina's heart sank for a moment, before a sudden surge of dark rage blinded her.

"Please don't get mad!" Mira said at once. "It's for Lady Merina, trust me. She is crying and asking for Snowball, so Princess Sophia ordered me to come and fetch him for her."

"If Merina wishes to play with the cat, she is more than welcome to come and play with him here." Alina seethed.

"Do you really think I can go and tell the Princess something like that?" Mira sighed. "You know I'd get into deep trouble."

Alina remained silent, fury eating at her heart. She didn't know what to do. While she would never willingly hand over her cat to that snake of a princess, she would also hate to get her friend into trouble. She had no idea in what ways Sophia would punish Mira if she failed to do her bidding.

Besides, the better Mira served Sophia, the more Sophia would trust her. And that was what both Alina and Mira needed. Because unbeknown to Sophia who was using Mira against Alina, Alina was also using Mira against Sophia. And so, Mira, the sweet innocent girl, was serving both women as a double spy.

"Very well," Alina said before she stood and walked towards the window, where Snowball lay sleeping on the blue bench beneath it. She carefully picked up the snoring cat and turned back to Mira with a frown. "Here, you may take the cat."

Alina had expected Mira's face to relax as she finally took the cat, having succeeded in her task. But if anything, Mira's face only grew more worried, her mouth opening and closing as if she was struggling to say something.

"What's wrong? Is there something else I need to know?" Alina's eyes narrowed, while Mira remained silent, throwing a troubled glance towards Alexander who sat still in his place, curiously watching their exchange. "It's alright Mira. You may speak before Alex." Alina assured her.

"Well..." Mira hesitated. "Princess Sophia... she is... she is saying bad stuff about you, to Lady Merina. Stuff like Alina is a bad witch. Alina wants to take Papa away from us. And I really don't understand why, but the poor child blindly trusts her. She is so attached to her and she calls her Mama all the time."

"I see," Alina clenched her fists dangerously. So the bitch was trying to turn Tristan's daughter against her!

If only Tristan were here...

But Tristan was not here anymore. He had only left this morning, and Sophia was already starting to stir up trouble.

***************

How do you feel about Mira serving as a double spy? Do you expect she will be up to the task?

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