I have a malformed public-duty gland and natural deficiency in moral fibre


"Come on!" Bill shouted, startling the people standing closest to him (some of those being complete strangers). He at least had the decency to look slightly guilty as he showed Mabel his phone, where he pulled up a text from William, who had decided to see the results of the contest with the adults (yes, even Soos and Wendy went with them). Dipper looked over his shoulder to see the text.

"You guys got second place and I got fourth. I mean, the guys in first weren't even that great," Bill said a little spitefully. Mabel laughed at that. "Aw, don't worry. You'll still get a participation prize and second gets $500 and tickets to next year's con." She patted him on the shoulder. "Will is going to be back soon, so if you want to go with Dipper and Stanford to that Dungeons and Dragons panel, we better finish here." She smiled, receiving another smile from Bill, who shrugged in response. "I mean, I've only ever played Dungeons and Dragons a few times with Will, who is definitely going to want to go as soon as he finds out Dipper and Ford are going.

"And he's going to drag me along with him," He sighed. "I really hate that game though." Mabel laughed and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "We can hate the game and be dragged by our brothers there together!" Bill chuckled, while Dipper hit his sister on the shoulder lightly. "I'm not forcing you to go."

Mabel lit up again. "Oh, we can get Stan to come too because his brother is going to be there and we can all suffer together!" Dipper rolled his eyes at his sister's antics.

"Why don't you go ask him, Maybelline?" Bill asked. "Dipper and I are going to go see the lip sync panel." Bill grabbed Dipper's arm and dragged him away before either of the twins had the chance to protest about it. Instead of bringing him to any panel though, he started walking around an area where they were selling stuff. The boy watched the floor and had a nervous look on his face. "What's up, Bill?" Dipper tilted his head, trying to get Bill to look at him.

"Um, well," He coughed nervously into his sleeve. "IwaswonderingifyouwantedtoseeamoviewithmeonThursday?" Dipper blinked, taking a second to actually catch on to what he was saying. "Like a date?"

Bill looked up with a hopeful look on his face. "Yeah. I mean, it doesn't have to be if that makes you uncomfortable." The blonde flushed and Dipper found it kind of endearing. He didn't see anything wrong with it. This dimension's Bill seemed to be almost a polar opposite to the one from his Gravity Falls. At least this one seemed to have a sense of empathy and emotion. Plus he was cute. "Yeah, sure. I just got a new phone since my last one broke." He remembered how in actuality the trip between dimensions had rendered the tool useless. He got out the new phone now and pulled up an empty contact and handed it to Bill. "I'll text you and we can work out the details later.

"And in the meantime, let's go find everyone else. Unless that lip sync panel is an actual thing and not just an excuse you conjured up to get me alone?" Bill blushed heavily. "Yeah, let's go find them." Dipper smiled as Bill led the way back to the concert hall they'd performed in.

Mabel, Will, and the Stan twins greeted them there, some enthusiastically and others not so much. The group started toward the Dungeons and Dragons panel. Bill had glued his eyes to his phone, scrolling through his phone and being dragged around by his brother as they explored the con so he wouldn't run into people. He cursed, showing Will his brother his tumblr account, startling the other boy with his findings. "Holy shit. Is that Alex Hirsch?" Will suddenly looked around as if the man himself was suddenly going to appear out of nowhere in front of them. Mabel and Dipper glanced at the Cipher twins. "You mean that guy who wrote Gravity Falls?" Dipper asked, remembering how the boys had mentioned it back at the Shack.

"Yes!" Bill said brightly. "Alex Fucking Hirsch just commented on both of the videos I posted with fucking selfies of him and his sister watching the performances. Oh my God." Bill looked like he was on the verge of fainting, while Will patted him on the back awkwardly. Mabel clapped her hands, not nearly as enthused, but showing a great amount of glee. "That's great!" Will fanned his brothers face in a vain attempt to get the slightly older boy to stop freaking out.

"Oh, is he doing a panel or something?" Dipper asked curiously. Bill shook his head. "Not that I know of. There's no information about him doing a panel on his twitter or the gravi-teamfalls tumblr, plus the Fandom PDX webpage didn't say anything about him being in a panel," Bill rationalized. "Oh my God. Bill, you're such a stalker," Will gasped in mock shock. Bill rolled his eyes. "Am not. Also fuck you," Bill replied before gluing his eyes to his phone again, freaking out once again. He shook his brother's shoulders as Will snatched the phone and saw what he was freaking out about.

Will stared at the screen in shocked silence for a moment before his mom snapped him out of it by asking what it was, the boys were freaking out about, but Bill snatched his phone back and explained it to her instead.

"Alex Fucking Hirsch wants to meet up! Holy fuck!" A couple of bystanders stared at the over-ecstatic boy as they passed. His mom smiled brightly. "That's nice, honey. Why don't you reply instead of getting all starstruck?" Bill nodded enthusiastically before typing out something on his phone and sending the message without letting anyone see what he'd said. He only pushed his brother forward as he shoved his phone into his pocket, insisting that they needed to get to the dungeons and dragons panel.

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