As a kid, I used to jam to this song. It wasn't until I was twelve years old that I realized it wasn't about cars 💀

Seriously, how did Disney allow this?? 😭

But hey, at least the song is still a banger.

~🏅~

"So let me get this straight..." Ralph furrowed his eyebrows at Vanello. "You don't know how to drive?" He then turned to (Name). "But apparently you do?"

"Heh...yep." (Name) nervously smiled.

"Well, no, not technically." Vanello shrugged, trying to pull his kart out. "I just thought that-"

"What did you think?" Ralph jumped up and started prancing around like a pretty princess. "OH! I'll just-I'll just MAGICALLY win the race just because I really want to!"

"Look, wise guy! I know I'm a racer!" Vanello retorted. "I can feel it in my code!"

Ralph groaned in frustration. "That's it! I'm never getting my medal back!"

(Name) sighed, she leaned down and helped Vanello push the kart off of the rock.

"What is the big whoop about that crummy medal anyway?" Vanello huffed as he tried to pull his kart out.

"The big whoop? Well, this may come as a shock to you, but in my game, I'm the bad guy and I live in the garbage!" Ralph answered with an offended look.

"Cool!" Vanello smiled. (Name) shot the boy a small glare, making him look down.

"No! Not cool! Unhygienic and lonely and boring!" Ralph fumed. "And that 'crummy medal' was going to change all that. I go home with that baby around my neck and I'll get a penthouse. Pies. Ice sculptures. Fireworks!"

Vanello tilted his head at the large man with a blank expression, glitching a little. (Name) gave him a sad and concerned look.

Ralph rolled his eyes to the sky. "Ahh! It's grown up stuff you both wouldn't understand."

"No, I get it!" Vanello smiled, standing up. "That's exactly what racing would do for me!"

"And that's what being accepted would be like for me!" (Name) added, standing up and placing her hands over her chest.

Vanello looked at (Name) in confusion and concern for a moment, wondering what she meant.

"Well, guess what?" Ralph gave a fake smile.

"What?" Vanello asked.

"News flash! None of us are getting what we WANT!" Ralph screamed, stomping his feet before letting out a cry. He flinched when he heard a crack and hissing.

"What was that?" Ralph followed the noise, his eyes widened when he came to an area of a bubbling pool with a stalactite of mentos hovering on the ceiling.

(Name) followed Ralph, also curious to find out where the noise came from. She gasped when she witnessed the sight before her. "Whoa! Cool!"

Ralph noticed a sign made out of pink wafers and read it.
"'Diet cola hot springs. Watch out for falling mentos?'"

"Yeah! Check it out! Look!" Vanello piped as he caught up with the two. He threw a rock at the mentos stalactite, making a mento fall into the pool.

"Whoa!" Ralph shouted when a giant boiling geyser shot up from the pool due to the mento.

"Ow!" Ralph winced in pain when one of the boiling drops of the pool hit his foot.

(Name) was lucky enough to not get hit by a splat since Vanello had gently pulled her away by her shoulders.

"Oh, you gotta watch out for the splash." Vanello advised. "That stuff is boiling hot."

"Yeah, I got that. Thank you." Ralph said sarcastically before clearing his throat. "What is this stuff?"

"I think it's some sort of unfinished bonus level?" Vanello shrugged.

"Whatever it is, it's pretty cool!" (Name) smiled as she stared up at the broken track made out of wafers above the pool.

Vanello smiled in agreement and rubbed his elbow. "Yeah! I found that secret opening, and now I live here. See, look, look, look!" He beamed as he ran over to a small room out of candy, crackers, and pretzels.

"Welcome to my home!" He presented, his arms out in a welcoming gesture. He climbed onto his sponge cake bed and grabbed one of the candy wrappers on the bed.

"I sleep in these candy wrappers, I bundle myself up like a little homeless man." He bundled himself up in the candy wrapper with a relaxed look on his face, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep.

(Name) smiled softly at how cute he looked, but a feeling of empathy and sadness was in her heart.

Ralph didn't hide his feelings as he gave Vanello a sad frown. "By yourself? With all this garbage surrounding you?" He asked sadly, looking around the area.

"Well, yeah." He answered, rising up from bed. "I mean, everyone around here says I'm just a mistake and that I wasn't supposed to exist! What did you expect?"

"Listen, kid...I know it's none of my business, but why do you even stick around this game?"

"You really don't know anything do you? Glitches cant leave their games!" Vanello scoffed before lying down in bed. "It's one of the joys of being me!"

(Name) sat down next to Vanello's bed, resting her arms on her knees. "I know what it's like to feel like a mistake...and to feel like people don't want you to exist..."

Vanello stood up from bed with a curious look on his face. "Really?"

(Name) gave a small smile in return. "Yeah. Ever since I showed up in Litwak's, no one wanted me around. I didn't have a game to go home to, I was the only one to escape before it got unplugged. It really doesn't matter what it was, but the thing is, everyone treated me like some sort of disease or mistake." She hugged her knees to her chest as memories of isolation and loneliness came to her.

Vanello frowned at that. (Name) was the nicest and most beautiful girl he had ever met, she didn't deserve to be treated this way.

"But the thing is, I don't feel so alone anymore. Because now I've been able to make friends with you and Ralph." (Name) smiled. "So, maybe, you don't have to be as alone as you think."

Vanello smiled softly at (Name), who returned the smile. They both had blushes on their faces as they stared into each other's eyes.

Ralph smiled a little at the moment they were sharing, before furrowing his eyebrows together as an idea came to mind. He raised his giant fists and began to pound the ground, making the two teenagers jump up.

"Hey, what are you doing? Come on!" Vanello protested.

"Really, Ralph?" (Name) sighed as he began to hammer the ground with his fists all around the springs.

"I know it's a dump, but it's all I got!"

"If you're gonna be a racer, you have to learn how to drive!" Ralph shouted over his hammering.

He finally finished in front of the two teens, wiping the dust off his hands as he smiled at his work. "And you can't do that, without a track!"

(Name) and Vanello's eyes widened when they realized what he had made. All around the hot springs, was a huge track.

Vanello stepped down from his room to admire the track. "Whoa!"

Ralph picked up Vanello's kart and put it down in the track. "Alright, now, let's hustle up! We've got some driving to do!"

Vanello smiled excitingly and began to jump around his kart. "I'm going to learn to drive! I'm gonna learn to drive! I'm gonna-" He then stopped in his jumping when he realized something. "Oh, wait. Do you know how to drive?"

"Yeah!" Ralph smiled. "I mean, I haven't done it, but...look, I flew a spaceship today, okay?"

"You crashed it." (Name) and Vanello deadpanned in sync.

"Okay, fine. Yes. But, (Name) here, she knows how to drive!" Ralph put his hands on the (hair color) girl's shoulders and pulled her next to him. "Did she see how she was driving earlier? The kid's a natural!"

"I wouldn't say that." (Name) smiled shyly.

"What? (Name), you were amazing back there!" Vanello beamed. "You were like a natural born racer! You gotta teach me!"

(Name) smiled at that, a pink blush on her face. "Alright, alright! I'll help teach you."

"YES! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" Vanello burst, wrapping his arms around (Name) and hugging her, lifting her in the air a little bit and spinning her around, making the girl laugh.
Ralph chuckled at the sight.

(Name) continued giggling when he finally put her down.
"Okay, okay! That's enough! Just get in the kart!"

Vanello smiled and took his place in the driver's seat.

"Alright, to start it up, press that button there." (Name) pointed to a button next to the steering wheel.

Vanello titled his head as he tried to look for what she was pointing to, before finding the button and pressing it, making the engine rev up. "Aha!"

"There we go!" Ralph smiled. "So, there are some buttons in the floor."

"Pedals." (Name) and Vanello corrected.

"Pedals. Right. Now, uh," Ralph leaned down next to the kart and pressed the third pedal. "That's the go pedal."

He then pressed the middle pedal. "That, I believe, is the stopper."

"Brakes." (Name) corrected.

"Or the brakes, right. Thank you." Ralph finger-gunned.
Vanello hummed, listening to the two carefully.

"And this..." Ralph then pressed down the first pedal, before furrowing his eyes in confusion. "Wait, what is this? That doesn't do anything."

"Oh, that's the clutch pedal." (Name) answered.

Before she could explain what it was for, Vanello's eyes perked up when he noticed a joystick. "Ooh, what's this joystick do?"

"Wait, Vanello, don't-" (Name) tried to warn, but she was too late when Vanello pushed the gear shift, making the kart jump forward.

(Name) and Ralph yelped when the kart's sudden burst made them both fall on the ground. Ralph landed face-first on the ground while (Name) landed on her back.

"Okay, good! Let's try that again!" Ralph yelled as he got up from the ground while (Name) giggled.

~🏎️~

🎶 "I've been looking for a driver who is qualified," 🎶

Ralph stood in front of Vanello's kart, smiling as he waved his hands in a gesture as (Name) stood behind the kart, directing Vanello on what to do.

Vanello raised an eyebrow as he grind the gear shift as he struggled to make the kart move. He gripped it harder, making the kart slam into Ralph's foot.

"Ow!" Ralph cried as he clutched onto his foot in pain, (Name) cringed in guilt.

🎶 "So if you think that you're the one, step into my ride." 🎶

~🏎️~

🎶 "I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine." 🎶

Ralph stood behind Vanello, nodding as he listened to (Name)'s instructions, standing on the right side of the kart.

Vanello gripped the gear shift, only to fly in reverse and hit Ralph once again.

"AH!" Ralph yelped as he fell to the ground face-first.

🎶 "Got a sunroof top and a gangster lead." 🎶

"No, the other way." (Name) corrected. Vanello tried to pull the gear shift again, only to fly behind once again and hit Ralph in the face, who was trying to get back up, only to fall back to the ground on his back when Vanello hit him again.

~🏎️~

🎶 "So if you feel me, let me know, know, know." 🎶

Ralph hid behind a pretzel rock as he watched Vanello, not wanting to get hit by him again.

(Name) sat on another rock as she watched Vanello buckle forward, only to hit a pretzel stalagmite.

Ralph facepalmed while (Name) sighed.

She then gasped and jumped off from her seat when she noticed the stalagmite breaking. It fell down, and landed on Ralph's head.

"AH!"

~🏎️~

🎶 "So start me up and watch me go, go, go." 🎶

Ralph pushed Vanello's kart from behind, guiding him past pretzel cones while (Name) ran next to them.

🎶 "Get you where you wanna go, if you know what I mean." 🎶

"Okay, now pull it!" (Name) instructed.

Vanello nodded and did what she said, making Ralph let go of him so he could drive on his own.

🎶 "Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine." 🎶

Vanello turned the wheel and slammed into a rock, he spat out a tooth. He turned to his friends and gave a thumbs up and grin with a missing tooth.

~🏎️~

🎶 "'Cause I'm zero to sixty in 3.5," 🎶

"Okay, now shift it!" (Name) instructed as she ran behind Vanello with Ralph.

Vanello pulled the gear stick, he lifted his foot off the clutch pedal slowly and began to move forward smoothly.

🎶 "Baby you got the keys," 🎶

"That's good!" (Name) beamed.

"Keep going!" Ralph encouraged.

"Shift it again!"

🎶 "Now shut up and drive, drive, drive." 🎶

"Whoa!" Vanello laughed as he began to drive around the track. "I told you! Racing's in my code!"

🎶 "So if you feel me, let me know, know, know." 🎶

Ralph laughed as he watched Vanello drive around. "I've got that medal in the bag!"

"YES! THAT'S IT!" (Name) cheered as she jumped up and down excitedly.

🎶 "So start me up and watch me go, go, go." 🎶

"Hey, Ralphie! Hey, (Nickname)! Watch this!" Vanello shouted as he jumped the track and drove up a steep track to the broken track. "Whoo-hoo!"

🎶 "Get a way you wanna go, if you know what I mean." 🎶

🎶 "'Cause I'm zero to sixty in 3.5," 🎶

Vanello drove up the ramp, smirking when he pulled the gear stick to speed up.

🎶 "Baby you got the keys," 🎶

"WHOO-H̶̢̎̐O̴̥̿͑Ȍ̴͇͖͐!̵͕̐"̶͙͐̇̽ Vanello cheered as he jumped in the air, before glitching and heading right for the mento stalactite.

"LOOK OUT!" Ralph and (Name) shouted.

"WHOA!" Vanello screamed, ducking as his spoiler hit a couple of mentos, falling down to the hot springs. Thankfully, Vanello was able to make it to the other track.

🎶 "Shut up and drive, drive, drive." 🎶

The giant chunks of mentos hit the hot springs, geysers shooting up.

Ralph screamed and grabbed (Name) and held her above his head to keep her from being burned.

"AH! HOT COLA!" Ralph screamed in pain as he kept getting burned by splats. He put (Name) down when the hot springs calmed down.

Vanello sped down the ramp, he finally skidded to a stop in front of them. His raven hair was messed up and he had a spooked look on his face, but he smiled up at his two friends.

🎶 "Shut up and drive." 🎶

"So, how did I do?" Vanello asked with a smile.

"Um..." Ralph placed a hand behind his head as he looked around the place. "Well, you almost blew up the whole mountain!"

Ralph jumped when another mento fell into the springs, a geyser erupting.

"Right, right, that's a good note." Vanello nodded as he smoothed his hair out.

"You gotta get that glitch under control, kid!" Ralph chided.

"Okay, I will, I will!" Vanello assured before turning to (Name).

"What about you, (Name) what do you think?"

"You did great, Vanello!" (Name) smiled. "In fact, I think your glitching could be great on the track!"

Vanello grinned at the girl, feeling confident knowing she believed in him. "So, you think I got a chance?"

"Absolutely!" (Name) grinned.

"Eh..." Ralph struggled to find the word, before putting his thumb and forefinger close together, a small space between them. "Tiny."

"YES! I'M GONNA WIN! I'M GONNA WIN! I'M GONNA WIN!!!" Vanello jumped out of his kart and hugged (Name), spinning her around again, making her laugh at his enthusiasm.

Ralph smiled at the scene before he held out both of his fists. "Top shelf."

"Top shelf!" Vanello and (Name) smiled as they both fist bumped a hand.

~🍬~