Frank's POV

"Mikey please come over...he won't get up. I've tried everything, and I'm really at a loss here," I begged, pressing the phone against my ear as I exited the room, not wanting to have Gerard overhear me talking about him.

"I will be there soon, just hang on okay? I don't know if I will be able to get any more results than you have, but worst case we can drag him to the viewing," Mikey responded in a tired tone of voice. I truly felt bad for turning to him for help, but I had no other friends I could ask, especially not in this situation, so Mikey was my only option.

"I don't want to do that to him," I sighed out loudly.

"We may not have a choice Frank; look I have to hang up, Mom is calling, but I will swing by in about an hour."

I didn't get a chance to respond before a short beep went off, letting me know that Mikey had ended the phone call. I groaned loudly, because I didn't want to have to face this alone for another minute - much less an hour, but I had no choice, and I was just going to have to attempt to get Gerard dressed and ready on my own.

I thought he had been getting better; he seemed to have figured out a way to cope with his grandmother's illness, and even though he didn't open up to me very much about how he was truly feeling, he had seemed like his normal self for the most part.

It helped that Elena lived for much longer than the doctors had expected; her diagnosis hadn't been positive after the last round of chemo, but she had fought on for six months more than they had predicted, and Gerard had spent almost every spare moment he had with her during that time.

But the inevitable had happened, as we all knew it would, and of course I was at work when Gerard had gotten the call from his mother, so I wasn't there to help him process the fact that his grandmother had finally passed away, and I had no idea if I had missed out on a crucial opportunity in which I could have prevented him from falling into this state.

When Mikey texted me with the news, I had expected Gerard to already be rushing to the hospital with the rest of his family to say his final goodbyes, but when I had returned home because of Mikey's continued messages that said he couldn't get in contact with his brother, I found Gerard curled up on the kitchen floor with silent tears streaming down his face.

It was only then that I realized that Gerard had been in denial this entire time, and that the reason he was functioning so well previously was that he was pretending like nothing was wrong, and now that Elena was truly gone, his fragile fantasy had shattered into a million pieces, destroying Gerard in the process.

I was determined to piece him back together, no matter how long it took, but I didn't know how to do that when he didn't respond to anything I said or did. I tried everything: from comforting words, to raising my voice, to ignoring him - well pretending to actually, but literally nothing worked.

That had been a week ago, and Gerard had been unresponsive the entire time. He refused to budge out of his bed, he only ate when I forced him to, and no matter how hard I pleaded, he wouldn't speak to anyone: not his mother, not Mikey, not even me.

I hadn't been to work ever since I found him that way, I was too nervous to leave him alone, just in case he tried something, even though he had showed no signs of moving any time soon. Lindsey had hired another worker to help cover my shifts, and she had reassured me that my position would still be available whenever I could return, but I missed the activity that having a job provided already, and as much as I loved Gerard, being cooped up all day with no one but his comatose form for company was taking its toll on me.

Luckily Gerard had graduated from art college already, so that was one less thing I had to worry about, because there was no way I would have been able to get him to go to class - much less actually pay enough attention to pass his exams, but that was literally the only positive thing I could think of right now, everything else had gone to shit.

I was at my wits end with his steadfast refusal to function, because Elena's viewing was today, and Gerard didn't seem to care; he just rolled over and ignored me when I had pleaded with him to get up - for her sake if not mine, which had led me to call Mikey in desperation.

I was trying so hard to be there for Gerard, but he continually shoved me away, and I felt more like a parent than a boyfriend right now, and I hated the feeling of helplessness that was my new constant companion.

I refused to give up on him though, because I told him I wouldn't, I promised that I would be there for him, and even though he continually rejected my offers to help him through this, I would just have to force him to accept the hand I was holding out to him - he would have to take it eventually.

And there was no way I was letting him miss his grandmother's viewing, even if I had to dress him myself, because although he didn't want to go in his current state, he would regret it in the future, and I knew Mikey wasn't kidding about dragging him into the car if need be.

I decided to start a shower before I attempted to force Gerard out of bed, he hadn't bathed all week, and I wasn't about to let him go out in public smelling like a hobo. Once the water was warming up nicely, I padded over to our room, trying to hold back tears at the sight of Gerard lying there listlessly, eyes wide open but not really seeing anything.

"Gee...you have to get up, Mikey is going to here in one hour, and I'm pretty sure you don't want your brother to help you shower," I commanded in a stern tone. I didn't get a response, but I hadn't really been expecting one.

Sighing heavily, I grabbed Gerard by his arm, wincing slightly when I felt the bones protruding through his thin wrist. I hadn't been able to get him to eat nearly enough, and I was going to have to check him into a hospital if this viewing didn't shock him back to his senses, even though I really didn't want to subject Gerard to that.

He didn't fight me when I dragged him out of the bed, but he didn't help either as I stripped him of his sweaty t-shirt and his boxers before taking his hand and walking into the bathroom, while he trailed behind me like a lost dog. I hated seeing him this way...so despondent and devoid of life. This wasn't the man I fell in love with, and I missed the old Gerard so much it ached.

"Get in Gee." I motioned toward the shower as if my point hadn't been clear, but he wasn't even looking at me, instead his eyes were glued to the floor, and he made no move to get under the running water.

I groaned under my breath at his stubbornness, but I had actually gotten him out of bed, and I wasn't stopping at that one success. I quickly stripped myself of my own clothes before stepping into the shower, tugging Gerard behind me, making sure that he didn't trip stepping over the lip of the tub on the way in.

Gerard was like a robot moving on autopilot, and any task besides walking seemed to be too much for him, so I took it upon myself to wash him with soap and shampoo his hair, knowing that Mikey would be no help in this matter anyway, so I might as well get it over with.

Gerard made no sign to indicate that he knew I was there, and that fucking hurt. Even though I was trying not to focus on myself right now, it was becoming harder to push down the thought that maybe Gerard just didn't want me here at all, and he would be happier left alone to wallow in his own filth.

I finished rinsing us off quickly, because I felt tears pricking my eyes every time they met Gerard's blank ones, and I knew that I was going to begin crying in another minute if I didn't focus on something else, and I couldn't let that happen, because once I started, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. I hadn't cried once this entire week, because I had to be strong for Gerard, but I had no one to help support me right now, and I could feel my resolve slowly crumbling.

"Come on...let's get dressed," I spoke softly as I toweled off Gerard's long black hair. I don't know why I kept talking to him, because it was pointless trying to get a response out of him. I guess I was just tired of the constant silence I had been living in over the past week, and even the chatter from the television didn't fill the void that was left by Gerard's voice.

I literally had to force each article of Gerard's black suit onto his body, and it was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Of course he refused to help in any way whatsoever, leaving me to wonder where he was in his head, and if he had any idea what was happening in the real world or not.

When I was finished dressing him, I moved on to myself, and I was just knotting both of our ties when the buzzer rang out loudly in the quiet air, alerting me that Mikey had finally arrived.

"Thank god," I muttered under my breath as I headed to the front door. It helped to have another functioning person in the house with me. Being alone with Gerard was exhausting, and I was craving human interaction more than I had realized.

"Hey Frank." Mikey stood in the entranceway awkwardly. Ray was with him as well, and they were both dressed in black suits that were almost identical to mine.

"I have missed you guys." I smiled for the first time all week, pulling Mikey into a quick embrace.

"I know...I'm sorry we haven't been coming around as often, things are just so crazy with planning the funeral and trying to cheer mom up."

"It's fine, really it is." I waved off Mikey's apologies, because he had enough on his plate as it was, and I knew he was trying his best to balance everything without the help of his older brother.

"How is he?" Mikey asked warily, looking around the living room as if expecting to see Gerard up and about, even though I had informed him previously of his condition.

"Not good, but I managed to get him showered and dressed, so that's something." I shrugged my shoulders tiredly once I realized that we still had to tackle the problem of actually getting Gerard to the viewing.

"Where is he?" Ray asked quietly, and I pointed toward the bedroom in response.

I heard Ray gasp softly, but I wasn't surprised to see Gerard back under the covers when I reentered our room. That had been his usual position for the past week, and I knew when I left him alone that he would end up back there sooner or later.

"Gerard - get up...please? Mikey and Ray are here."

Gerard simply flipped over so he was facing the wall, and I was forced to pull him out of bed again, making him sit on the edge of the mattresses so I could run a comb through his tangled hair.

"Oh god - this is just like before," Mikey whispered so quietly I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly.

"Hmm?" I mumbled while fighting with an unruly tangled.

"When you first - uh - stopped calling, he went into a state like this. He was in Laurel Hills at the time, but he literally wouldn't move; he refused to speak, he wouldn't do anything. He was like that for a month, maybe longer..." Mikey trailed off at the end, and I could see tears shimmering in his eyes.

"A month? I don't know if I can do this Mikey - I was thinking about checking him into a hospital or something after today. I mean look at him, he's so pale and thin, I can barely get any food down him, and even though he hasn't tried to self-harm or drink, he is going to kill himself if he keeps this up." My voice ended in a wail, because I really didn't think I would make it that long, not without having a mental breakdown of my own.

"I know Frank - you are being so brave, and I can't thank you enough for being here for Gerard, but I think you are right. He needs professional help, and none of us can provide that." Mikey wiped his eyes hastily, and I found myself doing the same.

"I'm just so worried that he will hate me when he wakes up - or whatever. He despises those places, and I feel like I should be able to fix him, and I'm a failure for not being able to help him more," I admitted, hanging my head in shame, trying to control my rapid breathing patterns, because actually talking about the possibility of sending Gerard away was making me dizzy, and I felt like I might be sick at any moment.

"Frank - listen to me. You are not any of those things. For all we know, you are the only reason Gerard is still breathing right now. It's no one's fault that he can't pull out of this, and he will forgive you, because you are just trying to do what's best for him." Mikey clasped my shaking hands in his, trying to calm me down, because he knew the signs of my anxiety attacks, and this was usually how one started.

"Okay - let's just get him through the viewing and the funeral, then I will call Dr. Stump and have him...admitted somewhere," I managed to choke out.

"It's going to be okay Frank." Mikey put his arms around my shoulders, and I leaned into him gratefully.

But I was so terrified that it wasn't going to be okay, because without Gerard, I would be alone again, and I didn't know how I would handle life without his comforting presence by my side, and even though he wasn't really with me right now, it would be so much more difficult when he was sent away entirely.

I knew I was being selfish, but I needed Gerard, he was everything to me, and I never imagined that we would ever be separated again, especially not like this...

I am so mean I know, this story was taking such a happy turn, and then I go and make it all depressing again.

I think I am finally nearing the end of this, I don't know how many more chapters are left though. It could be anywhere from five to ten, but I will see what happens.

This chapter is dedicated to My_giant_story for helping me catch my spelling errors and for putting up with this train wreck of a story for so long.

And to all of you that have gotten this story to 18k reads, you are fucking amazing, and hopefully you will check out some of my other stories in the future.

I am kind of curious to get to know you guys better, so on these next few chapters I am going to ask random questions that you can answer if you want to.

What is your favorite band besides MCR (because I know you probably all would pick them).

((((curious vibes))))

<3 starr