Gerard's POV

"Is he awake yet?"

"No he's still knocked out..."

"Well I have to go pick up Elena from the hospital, I will be back in a bit. Will you be okay by yourself?"

"Stop worrying, I won't burn the house down while you are gone."

I was residing in a state of semi-awareness in which I could hear what was happening around me, but I didn't seem to possess the ability to open my eyes and participate in the proceedings, or even move for that matter, probably because I felt like I had been run over by a truck.

The voices faded away before I could find the strength to get up and tell them that I was in fact awake, and slightly functioning at least. I heard a door open and close somewhere, so I assumed whoever it was had vacated the room, and I would be left alone to sleep for a little while longer.

I felt the bed dip down with an added weight, well I assumed it was a bed - it sure felt like one, but besides that single fact I had managed to deduce, I had no idea where I was. Last night was a blur, the final thing I remembered was being in a park...with a bottle of vodka.

"Ugh..." I groaned softly, both at the memories that were now pouring back, and at the pounding headache that was currently assaulting me.

"Baby? You awake?" Frank's voice filled my ears, and even though I was ecstatic to have him here beside me, because I really didn't want to be left alone when I felt so terrible, it seemed as if he was speaking through a megaphone, and the added volume didn't help my aching head one bit.

"Hurts..." Well apparently I had forgotten how to form coherent sentences, but Frank seemed to understand what I meant instantly.

"There is water and aspirin on the dresser when you are ready to sit up," he informed me in a softer tone of voice.

"I love you..." I mumbled, but even though I could talk, movement still seemed too big of an obstacle to tackle.

"I love you too." I could hear the smile in his voice, and I decided to attempt to open my eyes so I could witness it for myself, but that turned out to be a terrible idea. The bright sunlight pouring into the room seared my corneas, so I immediately squeezed my lids shut again.

"Frank...what happened last night? I remember a little bit, but not everything." I decided to try and fill in some of the gaps in my memory before I attempted any kind of motion again.

"We don't have to talk about this right now love, we can wait until you are feeling better."

"I fucked up didn't I?" I pressed, guilt lacing my words.

"No Gee, don't think like that. It was just a slip up, that's all." I felt Frank's comforting arms slip around my waist, and I snuggled into them gratefully.

"I'm so sorry...I didn't mean too, I just snapped." I couldn't understand how Frank wasn't furious with me. I had taken off and gotten wasted, and if Frank had done the same thing to me, I wouldn't be reacting so well.

"I know love, it's okay."

"Where am I?" I asked after managing to crack my eyes open again, observing the unfamiliar floral wallpaper and blue bed spread that definitely did not belong in my room.

"Your mom's guest room."

"Oh...how did I end up here?" I sat up slowly, only so I could down the water and pills that were awaiting me on the bedside dresser before lying back down again.

"I brought you here, your mom was worried, and I didn't want to drive you all the way home in the state you were in," Frank informed me, shifting slightly on the bed to try and find a more comfortable position.

"Oh...is she here? I questioned warily.

"Not right now, she went to go pick up your grandma at the hospital." I felt Frank tense up slightly, and I knew he was worried about how I would react at the mention of Elena.

"Oh god..." I gasped out, trying to fight the roiling nausea that suddenly overtook me. I wasn't sure if it was because of my binge drinking last night, or the reminder of how sick my grandmother was - it was probably a combination of both anyway.

"You okay baby?" Frank placed a hand on my forehead, but I threw it off, stumbling to my feet so I could make a mad dash for the bathroom.

I made it in the nick of time, falling to my knees before I proceeded to throw up messily in the toilet. I hated this so much, it had been so long since I had woken up feeling this way, and it wasn't something I wanted to relive anytime soon.

Frank joined me in the bathroom not long after, but I didn't get up off the floor just yet. I wasn't one hundred percent sure if I was done getting sick, so I might as well stay here for now.

"Oh Gee..." Frank sighed, sitting down beside me on the uncomfortable tile.

"I'm so sorry Frank," I apologized again in a raspy voice. My throat stung from the bile coating it, but I was too weak to get up and rinse out my mouth.

"Stop saying that, no one is mad at you." Frank pulled me into his arms, and I rested against his chest with a soft sigh.

"I just feel like such an idiot..." And I really did now that I was sober, I shouldn't have lost control like that, but at the time it seemed the only logical thing to do.

"Gerard you need to stop beating yourself up. You made a mistake - it happens, but I love you, and I will always be here to pick you up when you fall."

"You came and found me didn't you?" I asked softly, because I recalled a fuzzy picture of Frank trying to pull me to my feet in the park, and for some reason I was curled up in a ball on the ground.

"Of course I did," Frank answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Thank you." It wasn't enough, but I didn't know what else to say besides those two simple words.

I don't know how long we sat there in silence except for the occasional sounds of me getting sick again, which were not pleasant, but eventually the sound of the front door opening interrupted our moment of solitude. I pulled myself to my feet with a groan, helping Frank up as well once I had regained my footing. I quickly rinsed out my mouth with tap water from the sink, removing the vile taste from my tongue.

"I guess I need to go face my mom now..." I sighed to myself.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." Frank slid his hand into my own, offering me comfort in the form of skin on skin contact.

"I think I just want to get it over with, putting it off won't make it any easier in the end, and I have you with me now." I smiled down at Frank, because I knew talking about this would be easier to bear with his supportive presence by my side.

Even with my newfound confidence, I found it harder than it should have been to exit the relative privacy of the bathroom, and my legs began to shake underneath me as I entered the kitchen where my mother and grandma sat around the table.

Before I even had a chance to speak, my grandmother pushed herself to her feet, and instead of pulling me in for a hug like I thought she would, she slapped me hard on the shoulder. Even though it didn't really hurt, it caught me by surprise.

"Gerard Arthur Way, I swear if you do something like that again I will track you down myself, and you will wish I had never found you," she huffed out angrily, but a sheen of tears clouded her bright eyes, and I felt terrible for worrying her, and everyone else for that matter.

"I know...I'm so sorry."

"Just don't do it again young man. Even if I die, I will come back and haunt you, and you don't want to deal with a pissed off ghost version of me." She sat back down with a flourish, discreetly wiping her eyes in the process.

"How can you joke about this grandma?" I asked as I joined her at the table. Frank declined a seat, instead choosing to hover over me like a worried parent.

"Because Gerard, I have accepted it, and it is a part of life. I know this is all new to you, and maybe we were wrong to keep my condition hidden from you for so long, but there is nothing we can do to change that now, and you need to realize that this isn't the end of the world." She patted my hand softly to lessen the sting of her words, but it did nothing to soothe the gaping hole in my heart that was threatening to devour me whole.

"I just can't imagine life without you..." I mumbled softly.

"I know honey - I do, but you will have so many people to help you along the way, and I will never truly leave you."

"Why were you in the hospital yesterday?" I asked warily, not really sure if I wanted to know the answer or not.

"It was just for my regular chemo treatment. I am fighting this, and I am nowhere near dead yet, so don't you start acting like I am already at heaven's door okay?" I tried to crack a smile for her sake, but it fell flat, and it came out as more of a twist of my lips than anything else.

"How are you feeling honey?" my mother interjected nervously.

"I've been better..."

"Do you want to...I don't know - ask any questions? I am sure you have a few for the both of us."

"I really don't want to talk about this right now," I whispered quietly, because even though I had been hopeful that I could make it through this discussion with Frank by my side, now that it was actually happening, I just felt nauseous and scared. I wasn't ready to lay this out in words that I would never be able to forget, not yet anyway.

"Well why don't you two head home and get some rest, we can talk about this more at a later time okay?" she suggested, and I nodded my head in agreement.

"I'm sorry again for worrying you...I shouldn't have done that." I stood up so I could pull my mother into a hug, which she readily accepted.

"Just come back and visit soon okay?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"Of course, I will be over here so often you will be sick of me," I chuckled hoarsely, even though I really wanted to burst into tears, because now that I knew of Elena's condition, every moment I spent with her could be our last, and even though that was the case with everyone if you really thought about it, this was different, and I didn't know how to deal with this gnawing pain in my gut that erupted every time I looked at her.

"Try not to worry too much Gerard," Elena chided me gently before pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"I'll do my best," I promised, even though I was unsure how capable I was of following through on my words.

With a final wave to my family, Frank and I made our way out to the car, and I breathed a sigh of relief as soon as I stepped outside. That was the first time in years that I hadn't felt comfortable around my mother and grandma, but I needed some time to pull my thoughts together before I had this discussion with them. I didn't want to break again, and I knew I would have if I had stayed much longer.

I climbed into the car numbly, and Frank took my obvious hint that I didn't want to drive - or talk for that matter, so he started the car and turned up the radio, giving me the space I so desperately needed.

"I'm proud of you." Frank broke the relative silence we had been in out of the blue. We were about halfway home at this point, and I turned to him with a puzzled look on my face. I was glad he had spoken up though, my thoughts had not been taking a positive turn, and his voice was a welcome distraction right now.

"How can you say that? I fucked up...big time, not to mention the fact that I am a coward that can't even face the fact that my grandma is...sick...I mean look at me, I can barely even say it without wanting to throw up," I spat out angrily. I was ashamed of my childish behavior, I had thought I was better than this, but when push came to shove, I had taken the easy way out yet again.

"That's not the way I see it," Frank informed me, glancing away from the road for one second so he could meet my eyes.

"You're just biased," I muttered sullenly.

"I'm serious Gerard, it wasn't like you flipped shit because of something minor, this is a big fucking deal, and no one blames you for reacting the way you did."

"I just wish I was stronger..." I spoke more to myself than Frank, but of course he heard me.

"But you are Gee, you have overcome so much, and you will get through this too, and this time, you won't do it alone, because I will be there with you every step of the way, and when your strength gives out, you can lean on me for a while." Frank smiled as he spoke, and I felt my own grin spread across my face.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" I giggled quietly.

"I am quite a prize." Frank flipped his hair out his face dramatically, and I exploded into a fit of laughter.

"I think I need to talk to Dr. Stump soon though..." I admitted once my fit of mirth had ebbed.

"I think that would be a good idea," Frank agreed, because he knew I hadn't been to see my therapist in quite some time. I hadn't really felt the need to since everything had been going so well in my life recently, but right now I wanted to talk about this with someone who wasn't directly involved in the situation, maybe it would help me gain some much needed perspective.

I threaded my fingers through Frank's free hand as he continued to drive, basking in the fact that I had the most perfect boyfriend in the world, and I knew that no matter how bad things got, I would always have Frank to drag me back to the surface.

He wouldn't let me drown in my sorrows, and I needed him more than ever right now, and by the way he gently squeezed my hand at random intervals, he was aware of that fact, and more than willingly to help me through this; reminding me with a simple touch that he was always going to be there for me.

So this was just sort of a filler chapter, because I didn't really know what to write, but I wanted to put something up today.

I only read through this once, so if you notice any mistakes please let me know, I'm super tired and my editing skills are not up to par today.

This chapter is dedicated to killjoy_idiotxx because you rock and I hope you continue to enjoy this story.

I am super exhausted so I am off to bed.

((((tired vibes))))

<3 starr