Frank's POV

That was the last time I saw Gerard Way for eight years...

Before I knew it, I was being awoken by Dr. Wentz, who informed me that my mother was here to pick me up since I was officially discharged from the hospital.

Needing to leave Gerard one final goodbye, I hastily scribbled out a note to him on a sheet of paper torn from Dr. Wentz's medical notepad.

It was short and simple, but I didn't have time for anything more, and I hoped it would be enough to sustain him while we were apart.

I will spend the rest of my days and nights chasing tomorrow until I can be with you again

Stay strong for me

I love you

The drive home with my mother was filled by an awkward silence. I was still furious with her for making me leave Gerard behind, and seeing the "For Sale" sign in our yard only intensified it.

When I entered the house, it looked pristine for the first time in weeks, and I could tell that my mom had attempted to erase all evidence of the fight I had with my stepfather. It was a useless effort though, those memories were permanently imprinted on my brain, and tidying up the house wouldn't make them disappear.

I spent the following week locked in my room, avoiding all human contact. My mom didn't force me to go school since we were leaving for California on Saturday. I shouldn't have been surprised that she was in such a rush, but it still hurt.

My daily phone calls with Gerard cheered me up a bit, but as soon as I hung up the phone, my stomach sank back into my knees, and my sorrow at our parting washed over me once again.

On my last day in town, I forced myself out of the house to say my goodbyes to Mikey. He had been an amazing friend to me, and I was going to miss him so much.

We spent the day pretending I wasn't leaving, instead we played video games and messed around trying to write a song together. That kid was an amazing bass player, and our styles melded really well.

All too soon, my phone's ringtone cut through the room, and when I saw my mom's name flashing across the screen, I knew it was time to go. Mikey and I parted ways with a hug and a promise to keep in touch.

The trip to California was torturous since my mother had elicited to drive instead of fly like any normal person would do. I had to make up an excuse to find a private place to call Gerard, usually resorting to a sleazy gas station bathroom, but my surroundings were forgotten as soon as his beautiful voice reached my ears.

I was so proud of him, he seemed like he was genuinely trying to get better, and I hoped Laurel Hills would put his self-harm to rest for good.

Once we arrived in California, I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly I warmed up to my Aunt Ellie. I hadn't seen her since I was three years old, but she was so cheerful and outgoing it was hard not to like her.

My mom immediately jumped back into her job, so most of the time it was just my aunt and I in the house. School wasn't so bad either, but it was just an annoyance to me. I didn't get bullied or anything, but no one attempted to make friends with me, and I didn't have the energy to open up to anyone either.

Christmas holidays were approaching quickly, and I was looking forward to not having to deal with faking attention in class for a few weeks.

One night my aunt snuck into my room as I was writing a letter to Gerard; I had been so focused on the words that I hadn't heard her come in, and I didn't have time to cover up what I was doing.

I had yet to send him any of the ones I had written because I couldn't find any stamps, and I had no way to get to the post office besides walking. I had debated making the trip a few times, but I had been too nervous about my aunt or mom freaking out when I wasn't home at my usual hour.

Gerard had assured me that our daily talks were enough for now, and that I shouldn't take the risk of getting caught until my mother had calmed down a bit.

"Who is Gerard?" Aunt Ellie asked softly before sitting down in front of me. I gasped in shock, only now noticing her presence in the room.

"Umm...no one. Just a friend." I stumbled over my tongue, making my lame excuse sound suspicious even to my own ears.

"He sounds like more than a friend to me," she smiled softly, and I breathed out a sigh of relief at her acceptance.

"So you know that I'm gay then?" I questioned sheepishly.

"I didn't actually, but don't worry - I don't judge. Love is love in my book. So why haven't I heard about this boy before?"

My mom wasn't home at the moment, and I missed Gerard so much I found myself gushing about him to my aunt. Even just hearing myself talk about him was a balm to the ache on my heart.

"He is my boyfriend. He lives back in Jersey though, so I haven't seen him since we moved. He is the most amazing person I have ever met, and I would give anything to be with him right now..."

"Oh honey - it sounds like you have it bad for this boy."

"I really do," I answered wistfully.

"Well I know it isn't much, but I can mail that letter for you if you want me to?" she offered innocently.

"I would love that...but my mom doesn't want me to have any contact with him. She thinks he is a bad influence on me, which is part of the reason we moved. I wouldn't want her getting mad at you." I stared down at my feet awkwardly.

The temptation to lie to her was strong, but I didn't want to cause a rift between sisters because of my selfishness. My mom probably wouldn't have noticed anyway; she and I were barely speaking except when it became necessary, but I opted for honesty and hoped for the best.

"Oh...well - she doesn't have to know everything I do. If you are still hung up on this boy even after you moved away, he must be something special."

"He really is. I can't thank you enough, you don't know how much this means to me," I gushed before pulling her into a hug.

Now that I could send Gerard my letters, my spirits brightened considerably. I was a bit worried when he informed me that he was going to be staying at Laurel Hills for longer than he originally anticipated, but he assured me that he was getting better, he just needed more time.

Everything was as perfect as it could be, considering our circumstances, but all too soon it came crumbling down.

It was just another day, and I was alone in the house waiting for five o' clock to finally arrive so I could call Gerard. I almost squealed with joy when the second hand inched to the top of the clock and my phone began to ring shrilly.

"Hey baby." I smiled to myself as Gerard's familiar cadence overwhelmed my senses.

This was the only time of day that I truly felt happy, and even though I ached for his touch, the sound of his voice was enough to erase my problems for the time being. We chatted for a while about nothing at all, and I was too occupied with listening to him to hear my door opening.

I really should have been more careful, but Gerard commanded my entire attention, and with Aunt Ellie out at the store, I hadn't expected anyone to interrupt us. Fear gripped my stomach when my mother entered the room, looking frustrated and worn out.

"Frank - I need to talk to you about something..." She trailed off when she noticed me on the phone, and I quickly pulled it away from my mouth in an attempt to hide the device from her, even though I knew it was already too late.

"What mom?" I asked exasperatedly. I was trying to distract her from my phone call, but her eyes narrowed, and I knew she wasn't going to drop it.

"Who are you talking to?" She came closer to me, and I shuffled as far back on the bed as I could go before my spine hit the wall.

"No one! Just a friend okay?"

"Then why are you hiding the phone from me?" She tried to snatch the device out of my hand, but I darted out of her reach.

"What the hell...let go!" I screeched as her hand clamped around my wrist, forcing the display screen into her line of vision.

I saw confusion flash over her features as she read over the name Laurel Hills. Thank god I hadn't saved it under Gerard's name...maybe she wouldn't make the connection. Even if we had been speaking on a regular basis, I wouldn't have told her about the fact that Gerard had been committed to a mental hospital, because that definitely wasn't going to convince her to let me be with him - quite the opposite actually.

Before I could react, she had pried the phone from my desperately grasping fingers and pressed it to her ear angrily.

"Who is this?" Her tone demanded an answer, and I prayed to god that Gerard was smart enough to hang up, because she would recognize his voice for sure.

Luckily there was no response, and my mother scoffed in disgust before pocketing my phone as I watched in horror, wracking my brain for some plausible way to explain myself.

"I don't want you calling numbers I am unfamiliar with, and I will be keeping your phone until I find out who this was."

She refused to relinquish her possession of my phone, even when tears began to roll down my face.

"Why are you being such a bitch?" I choked out around the sobs that were clogging up my throat.

"I am trying to do what's best for you..." she whispered softly, but I had stopped listening.

I had sunk back down into the blackness that had become my world without Gerard's presence in it. This was it...she was going to look up the number and discover it was to a mental hospital in New Jersey, and it wasn't hard to put two and two together.

I had to do something to stop this, but my mind was blank. All I could do was lie on my bed and cry myself to sleep, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

The blowup didn't come until the next day, and it was much more explosive than I had prepared myself for.

I awoke to screaming coming from downstairs, and the sound of my name had me hastily pulling on sweat pants and rushing into the living room as quickly as I could.

My mother was standing with her back to me, yelling at my aunt, who just stood their defiantly with her arms crossed over her chest.

"How could you go behind my back like this? I have specific reasons for not wanting him to talk to that boy, and you completely disrespected me!" My mother was literally shaking with fury and I cowered back into the kitchen so she wouldn't see me.

Well it seems like she had found out about the letters too...

"I did it because Gerard makes Frank happy, and if you spent any time around your son, you would realize how depressed he has been lately. I hate seeing him like this, and sending a letter wasn't going to hurt anything," my aunt retorted bitterly.

"That wasn't your decision to make - you aren't his parent!"

I felt so guilty that my aunt was taking the heat for my relationship with Gerard, but I had warned her beforehand that this might happen. I just wished this could all have been avoided somehow.

"I might as well be, since you are never around! Look - I know you are bitter, but you can't take it out on him. He's just a kid, and it's not his fault."

I wasn't sure what they were talking about, but I didn't want to reveal myself to ask. Instead I began searching for the house phone. My mom still hadn't returned my cell phone, and I needed to let Gerard know that I might not be able to call him for a little while.

Finally I located the device over by the toaster oven, and I tried to remember the number for Laurel Hills. In my shaken state, I couldn't recall it from my memory, so I went with the next best thing - his cell phone.

I knew he wasn't allowed to have it on his person, but maybe someone would check his messages and relay my call to him. It rang a couple of times before sending me to his adorable voice mail.

"Hey - you have reached Gerard...um yeah - I guess leave a message or something, and I will get back to you as soon as I can."

A faint smile graced my lips when I heard his voice, even if it was just a recording.

"Gee it's me...my mom took my phone, and she knows I was calling you. Fuck - she looked up the damn number, and I don't know what to do. I am using my aunt's house phone to call you right now, but I don't know how much longer I will be staying here. My mom is screaming at her right now...they are fighting because of me." Unshed tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall, I had to finish this message.

"I can't stay in a house with a backstabbing bitch like you!" I flinched violently as my mom's voice rose to an insanely high pitch, and I knew I was running out of time.

"Gee - I don't know what's going to happen, but never forget that I love you okay? I will find you...I promise, no matter how long it takes. Shit - I have to go, my mom is coming in here..."

I hung up the phone hastily as my mother entered the room, her eyes bloodshot and tear tracks marring her cheeks.

"Pack your stuff, we are leaving," was all she said before turning on her heel and exiting the kitchen.

On shaking knees, I crept into the living room, where I spied my Aunt Ellie dropping into her comfy armchair with a heavy sigh.

"I'm so sorry..." I whispered quietly, but by the way her head shot up, I knew she had heard me.

"Don't apologize to me Frank, you didn't do anything wrong."

She patted her lap and I climbed onto it, feeling like a three year old again as her warm arms encircled me.

"I just don't understand why she hates Gerard so much," I sniffled pathetically.

"Your mom is having a lot of problems of her own, and she doesn't know how to deal with them. I'm not saying what she is doing is right, but she is in a lot of pain at the moment - just like you. I know this is unfair, but for now - just try and do what she says. I am sure she will warm up to the idea of you and Gerard eventually."

"Okay...I guess I need to go pack now. I'll miss you Aunt Ellie, and thanks again for everything."

"I'll miss you too Frankie." She pressed a kiss to my cheek before I hopped off her lap and hurried to my room to gather my stuff.

Her words kept running through my head, and I couldn't seem to comprehend them. What was hurting my mom so badly that she had morphed into a completely different person from the loving mother I used to know?

Well whatever it was, I wasn't going to forgive her so easily - no matter what my aunt said...

We stayed in a hotel that night, my mother informed me that we would be apartment searching in the morning. When I brought myself to ask about my cell phone, she told me that she had it disconnected, and I would get a new one when she trusted me again.

It took every ounce of self-control I had not to lash out at her when I heard that, but I managed to stay silent. Screaming wasn't going to fix anything, and I had enough of raised voices for one day.

I tried to sleep, but thoughts of Gerard were refusing to let my mind rest. What was he doing right now...was he worried when I didn't answer his call today? Did someone pass him my message? How long would it be before I could call him again? I still couldn't remember Laurel Hills number...I had it saved in my phone, but that was gone now, and I felt like an idiot for not writing it down anywhere else.

A buzzing noise sounded faintly throughout the room, but I ignored it, knowing it was just my mother's cell.

"Hey..." My mom's voice cut through my internal freak out, and I listened intently, pretending to be asleep.

"Is Frank there? God I'm so sorry about everything. I wish I could apologize to him." I could just faintly make out a male voice on the other line, and I recognized it as my stepdad.

My jaw clenched when I realized she was still talking to him, but I tried to keep my breathing even so I wouldn't give myself away.

"Yeah - but he's asleep...I don't think he would want to hear that right now, but thank you," my mom sighed. I couldn't hear what my stepdad said next because she had turned on her side, muffling his voice.

"Of course I still love you...but I can't condone what you did to my son. I'm so proud of you for getting clean but..."

My stepdad cut her off, but as much as I strained my ears, I could only pick up murmurs from his end.

"Please stop...don't you know I would come back to you in an instant if I could. I miss you so much...but I just can't do that to Frank. We need to start over. Maybe if you are still clean when he moves out, we can try again, but until then, this has to be goodbye."

When she started to cry, I stopped eavesdropping, I didn't need to hear anymore. So this was what my aunt was talking about...I had no idea my mom still had feelings for my stepdad.

She was hurting - just like I was. This didn't mean that all was forgiven, but I decided to try and at least attempt civil conversation with her tomorrow. She deserved that much I guess...

I kept to my word, and over time our relationship slowly began repairing. I would never be as close to my mother as we were before, but I had stopped ignoring her, and she had made an attempt to be around a bit more now that I didn't have Aunt Ellie to keep me company.

She still wouldn't let me have a phone though, and I had to resort to asking people at school if I could borrow theirs to try and get in contact with Gerard. It was a futile effort...he never answered his cell phone, no matter how many times I called it.

At first I assumed he was still at Laurel Hills, and he couldn't call me back, but after a while, I had to accept the fact that he had moved on from me. He had said he was only going to be there for a couple weeks, and as the months passed, I couldn't think of any other option.

I cursed myself again for not writing any of my contacts down, because I couldn't remember Mikey's number either, and he was the only person who could have told me what had happened to Gerard, and if he still wanted me in his life or not.

A small portion of my mind wondered if something terrible had occurred, but I shut it down instantly; I refused to think like that, because I had no proof, and it would only destroy me if I carried on with that train of thought.

When six months had passed with still no word from Gerard, I lost all hope. I should have been crushed, despondent, hysterical, but I literally felt nothing - just numbness.

I refused to even think his name, and although I never actually forgot about him, I had to pretend like he had ceased to exist so I wouldn't fall apart completely.

I stopped calling his phone, and I hid all the letters he had written me in a lockbox so I wouldn't have to look at them and be reminded of what we used to have. I couldn't believe he had forgotten me so quickly...but as long as he was happy, I would have to accept it - Gerard's well-being was all that mattered.

When I was sixteen, we moved again - to New York this time since my mother got another promotion, and I didn't protest at all. I had nothing for me in California, and I didn't care where I lived. Nothing phased me anymore now that the worse had already happened to me.

I had noticed my mom slowly unraveling at the seams, but it didn't hit home until we had been living in the Big Apple for a few months.

I knew she still missed my stepdad, and every now and then I heard them taking on the phone late at night when she assumed I was asleep. Combining that with the stress of her new job, she began to break, and it scared me.

She started drinking frequently - before she would only consume a bottle of beer or two on particularly stressful evenings, and more often than not, she came home with a strange man on her arm. I avoided her those nights, but the walls were thin, and I knew what was going on.

It wasn't until she got fired from her job that I realized how far she had fallen, alcoholism had her in its nasty grip, and she crawled into the bottle more and more each day.

She never hit me like my stepdad had, but it still hurt watching my mom waste away into nothing. We had enough in savings to last us for a while, so she didn't even attempt to search for another job; instead she choose to loose herself in a strange man's arms and whatever alcoholic substance she could get her hands on.

The men she brought home were abysmal; they terrified me, and when they began hanging around more often, I was hit with painful memories of my stepfather. The worst of them all was Andy, who was one of her regulars. He was always staring at me with a nasty glint in his eye, and just being around him made my skin crawl.

I wasn't a perfect person either - not even close, so I was in no position to judge my mother. Living in such a big city exposed me to a darker side of the world, which I fell into readily, eager to fill the gaping hole Gerard had left in my heart.

I didn't drink because of my natural aversion to it, but drugs seduced me with their siren call, and before I knew what was happening, I had tried pretty much everything in the book.

Somehow I managed to graduate from high school, how I don't know since I was high basically ninety percent of the time, but once school was out, I made no effort to do anything with my life either, so my mother and I were the perfect pair.

As much as I pretended they worked, the pills never truly made me forget, and time made everything worse, not better. Even though I had sworn to let Gerard go - he obviously didn't need me anymore - that was easier said than done.

The fact that Jersey wasn't that far away was a constant temptation to me, if he was even still there that is, but something always held me back. I was not sure if it was the reluctance to leave my mother alone while she was spiraling into her own depression, or if I was too terrified of having him reject me to my face, but for whatever reason, I stayed in our little apartment, trying to cage away the memories of him.

One day I got the shove I needed to release myself from the metaphorical prison I had built out of drugs and fear, but it came in the worst way possible.

I was high again, hiding in my bedroom because I didn't want my mom to see me like this, when my door was pushed open, and Andy stalked into the small space like he owned it.

In my inebriated state, I didn't realize what was happening until it was too late...he had me pinned to the bed before my brain even thought to move, and my mom must have been passed out, because no one came when I screamed.

Once he was finished, Andy stalked out of my room like nothing had happened, leaving me naked and sobbing on the soiled sheets.

When I had finally composed myself, I quickly threw my few prized possessions and a couple of changes of clothes into my backpack. I couldn't stay here any longer...I had to get away.

I scribbled out a hasty note to my mom, telling her I loved her and not to worry. I couldn't bring myself to face her and tell her what happened, basing it off past experiences - she either wouldn't believe me, or she would be too drunk to remember, and I knew Andy would come around again eventually.

Swinging my guitar that Gerard had bought me for my birthday all those years ago over my back, I exited the apartment without a backward glance.

Even though I hadn't admitted it to myself, I knew where my feet were taking me...I was heading back to Jersey. I had no idea how I was going to get there, or what I was going to find when I arrived, but I had no other place left to go.

I wasn't planning on waltzing back into Gerard's life and expecting him to still love me after all these years, I just needed to make sure he was happy before I left this world for good. I promised I would find him, and I had to follow through with that before I ended this wretched excuse of an existence.

So I have had this chapter written for a little while, and I was going to upload it last night, but my power went out, and I had to wait until today to put it up. I am risking being late to work doing this, but oh well haha.

I am actually pretty happy with this chapter, so I hope you guys like it too.

Okay I have to go if I have any chance of getting to work on time (I really hate being an adult sometimes).

Enjoy ^_^

<3 starr