Gerard's POV

I couldn't tell what time it was...the room was cast in shadows, hiding the clock face from my prying eyes, but I knew it was late. Sleep was eluding me, all I could think about was how I was going to be shipped to Laurel Hills in the morning.

I was so angry with my mother for making that decision that I was physically shaking. How the fuck would separating me from everything and everyone I loved going to help me recover from my self-harm...if anything - it was only going to make it worse.

I needed to tell Frank what was happening...but I didn't know what room he was staying in, or if he was even still in the hospital. Worry for him was gnawing at my gut, the last I had seen him, he had been escorted out of the room by two police officers.

I hope they had arrested that ass of a stepfather who dared to lay a hand on him. He needed to be locked up somewhere where he could never touch him again.

When I had begged my mother to let me see him later on, she told me that she had been turned away, and that he wasn't accepting visitors right now. I couldn't help but wonder if he didn't want to be around me anymore...I wouldn't blame him if he did.

But after everything he had said to me today, I had been finally starting to believe that Frank truly loved me. Now I didn't know what to think, and I was driving myself crazy with all of my assumptions.

The sound of a door creaking open softly broke me out of my dark thoughts, but I didn't look up, assuming it was just another nurse coming to check up on my vitals. They had been popping in and out every so often, and I just ignored them every time.

I didn't want to talk to anyone but Frank right now, and no one would let me see him. As if thinking his named summoned him to me, a familiar voice filled up my small room.

"Gee? Are you awake?"

"Frank - is that really you?" I exclaimed a bit louder than I had intended.

"Shh - yeah it's me, but be quiet okay? Dr. Wentz snuck me in here, and I don't want him to get in trouble." Frank crept to my bedside, and I pulled back the covers, giving him room to crawl under them with me.

"Are you okay Frankie? What happened with the cops?"

I wanted to tell him about how I was being sent away, but it was easier to focus on his problems and pretend mine didn't exist for the moment.

"I guess I'm okay...the officers just asked my mom and I some questions. She is going to divorce my stepdad, so that's the good news..." Frank trailed off in a way that showed there was obviously still some bad news to come.

"So why aren't you happy then?" I coaxed gently, hoping he would open up to me.

"Because...because..." Before he could continue, Frank was overcoming by wracking sobs. Seeing him fall apart ripped at my heartstrings, and I clutched his slender form to me as tightly as I could.

"Shh baby - it's going to be okay," I whispered soothingly.

"No it's not...you don't understand..." Frank gasped out.

"Then tell me. Please - I want to help you with this, and I can't if I don't know what's wrong."

"My mom is making me move...to California..." Frank managed to spit out before erupting into another fit of tears.

I felt my stomach sink to my feet and I had to fight back the urge to be physically sick. This couldn't be real, Frank couldn't move. This was all just some sick joke the world was playing on us.

Any second now, Frank would laugh and say how he totally got me, and that I should see the look on my face, but he wasn't that cruel; he would never think something like this would be funny.

Maybe it was a dream? Yeah that's it...I was going to wake up in a moment in my room, and none of the events of the past three weeks will have happened.

"Gerard? Say something please?" Frank sniffled. I realized I had been silent for an unknown amount of time, and Frank was staring at me with clouded eyes.

"I don't know what to say...this all feels like a nightmare," I choked out past the lump in my throat.

"Fuck - I know...I don't want to leave you."

"And here I was thinking my life couldn't get any worse." Burying my face in my hands, I tried to hold myself together for Frank. He needed me to be strong right now, but he was the only thing keeping me sane, and even that was being ripped away from under my feet.

"I'm so sorry Gee..." Frank rubbed my back soothingly while I tried to choke back tears.

"When do you leave?"

"I don't know...soon I think. We are moving in with my aunt, and knowing my mom, she won't waste a second getting me out of here. Fuck - I hate this - I feel so helpless." Frank's hands were balled into fists, and I gently unclenched them before threading my fingers through his.

"I have some bad news too. My mom is sending me to Laurel Hills tomorrow. I don't know how long I will be there, they won't let me out until they think I have fully recovered."

"Laurel Hills? What's that?"

I had forgotten that Frank hadn't lived here his whole life like I had, so he didn't know anything about the crazy house I was being shipped off to.

"It's a mental institution for fuck ups. My mom doesn't trust me home alone right now, so when Dr. Wentz suggested I stay there for a bit, she was completely on board," I sighed.

"Oh yeah - Dr. Wentz did mention that you were going to get some help..."

"If shipping me off to a house full of psychos count as help, then yeah."

"So basically - this is the last time I will get to see you then?" Frank's voice shook with suppressed emotion, and I couldn't meet his eyes, because I knew if I did, I would lose the tiny bit of self-control I had managed to hang onto.

"I guess so..." I whispered quietly.

"Then I better do this while I still can."

Before I could question what he meant, Frank pressed his lips against mine in a bruising kiss. I kissed him back eagerly, trying to drown my sorrows out in the electricity I felt when Frank touched me. Every caress of his hand and swipe of his tongue helped me to forget a little more, and I lost myself completely in the feeling of him.

Finally we broke apart when both of our lungs were screaming for air, and I felt lightheaded from the intensity of the kiss. Frank tried to dive back in for my mouth, but I stopped him with a gentle hand on his cheek, which was covered in salty tears.

As I watched, he continued to silently cry, and no matter how fast I was, I couldn't brush away the tears before more started to fall.

"Don't cry - please Frankie...I hate seeing you like this," I begged.

"I'm sorry - I just can't seem to stop. I love you Gee, and I don't want to live without you, but now I don't have a choice and I...I..."

"This isn't the end Frank. I won't let it be...if you still want me that is? I know this won't be easy, but you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I won't let something like distance rip us apart. I will call every day, and write to you, and once I graduate, I will get a job, and save every cent so I can come move to California with you. It's only a few more months until I am eighteen, and school will be out soon after that."

"You would really do that for me Gerard?" Frank gasped in awe, and I felt a warm tingling feeling spread throughout my body when he smiled for the first time all night.

"Of course baby. I love you, and you moving away doesn't change that. It hasn't made you rethink things has it?" I questioned awkwardly.

"No - not at all! I just never expected you to want to stay with me. I came in here tonight determined to break up with you so you could live your life without having to worry about me. I didn't want to bring you down."

"You are an idiot if you think you do anything but lift me up Frankie. I know what I feel for you is real, and I won't ever stop loving you and fighting for us - unless you don't want me to, and even then I would still love you from afar." Frank leaned his head against my shoulder and I began running my fingers through his hair.

"We could really make this work. It would only take a year at the most before we could see each other again. I could try and do odd jobs for my aunt to help you moneywise, and even if we can't save enough for you to move, then you could just visit until we do. I mean, we would still have to be careful since our relationship is technically illegal, but as long as my mom doesn't find out, we should be in the clear." I could hear the excitement lacing Frank's words, and I smiled against his forehead. I was ecstatic that Frank was willing to work this out with me, and that I wouldn't have to face a life without him in it.

"I'm not leaving you baby - I promise," I reassured him.

"God Gerard - you don't know how badly I needed to hear that." He snuggled even deeper into my chest, and I sighed in contentment.

"I love you so much," I mumbled before kissing him lightly on the lips.

"I love you too Gee." Frank smiled against my mouth as he deepened our kiss, causing me to melt against his body.

I could feel every one of his emotions being poured into the movement of his lips against mine, and I was in awe that this perfect boy could still love me.

We spent the night in each other's arms, kissing occasionally until Frank drifted off to sleep against my chest. I spent the time memorizing Frank's face, and trying to imprint in my mind the way he fit perfectly in my arms as if he was my other half.

I wished there was a way I could bottle this feeling up and carry it with me over the next year when I would no longer have Frank to help me through life. Right now - I felt like I could move mountains if Frank asked me to, and I had to keep pushing on for him if we were going to last.

I had never wanted anything as badly as I desired to be with Frank, and I would do whatever it took to be reunited with him as soon as possible, but first I had to survive Laurel Hills, and battle my own demons so I would be free to devote my full attention to fight for Frank.

-------------------------------------------

It seemed as if I had barely closed my eyes before I heard the door grate open again, and I recognized Dr. Wentz's shaggy head of hair peeking through the crack. It was still dark outside, but I could see the sky lightening, which meant morning was fast approaching.

I glanced down at Frank, but he was still fast asleep, and I was loathe to wake him.

"I'm sorry Gerard, but Frank has to go now before anyone realizes he was here."

I knew he was right, but my arms tightened around Frank reflexively. I wasn't ready to let him out of my sight yet.

"Can I carry him back to his room?" I asked in a hushed voiced.

"Fine by me," Dr. Wentz shrugged.

I tucked my sleeping boyfriend securely into my chest before getting to my feet carefully. Frank mumbled to himself quietly before burrowing even deeper into my arms.

On silent feet, I padded after Dr. Wentz, barely paying attention to where I was going because I was so distracted gazing at Frank's carefree face. His lips were slightly parted, and it was so tempting to lean down and kiss them softly, but I restrained myself.

All too soon, Dr. Wentz paused at one of the many identical doors and pushed it open, motioning for me to go inside first. He stayed by the door, giving me a few more moments alone with Frank.

As gently as I could, I laid him in bed before tucking the covers securely around his shoulders. We had already said our goodbyes earlier, but I couldn't resist leaning down and kissing his cheek softly.

"I love you Frankie," I whispered before turning my back on his slumbering form.

I tried to force my feet to move, but they seemed glued to the floor. This wasn't goodbye forever...just for a little while, but no matter how many times I repeated that phrase in my head, I couldn't force myself to leave the room. Just then, I felt a small hand slip into mine and squeeze gently.

"I love you more Gee. Stay strong - okay? I will be waiting for you."

I flipped around and crashed my lips against his in one last kiss that was going to have to sustain me for the time being. I heard Dr. Wentz clearing his throat impatiently from his post, and I ripped away from Frank while I still had the strength.

"I'll find you..." I promised as I crossed the room, walking backwards so I could keep my eyes on him for as long as possible.

He refused to let go of my hand until it became impossible for him to stretch any farther; when we could no longer maintain our grip, his fingers brushed against mine before falling limply to his side.

The movement seemed so final in my mind, as if that one action solidified the fact that we were truly being separated. I rushed back to my room in a daze, replaying our final kiss over and over in a futile attempt at keeping my tears at bay.

A tune began to form in my head, and I began singing softly, pretending in my mind that Frank was sitting by my side and listening intently.

Be strong and hold my hand

Time - it comes for us, you'll understand

We'll say goodbye today

And I'm sorry how it ends this way

If you promise not to cry

Then I'll tell you just what I would say

If I could be with you tonight

I would sing you to sleep

Never let them take the light behind your eyes

I'll fail and lose this fight

Never fade in the dark

Just remember you will always burn as bright

So I am sorry I haven't updated in a million years. I have been having a really hard time writing lately, everything seems to suck and I can't seem to finish anything.

I am not entirely happy with this chapter, but it's the best I could do for now.

I hope you all had an amazing Christmas, and if you don't celebrate then I hope you had a fantastic day :)

<3 starr (I added an extra r to my name...idk why lol)