Frank's POV

I kept hoping that any moment now, I was going to wake up and find myself in Gerard's room cuddled against his chest, and these last few hours would all be some horrible nightmare. This just couldn't be real...if I accepted it, then I would fall apart completely.

Not that I wasn't already a wreck...but even though I was now curled up in an uncomfortable chair in the hospital waiting room, it still hadn't fully hit me yet, and I was dreading the moment that my brain finally realized the truth.

I had to call Mikey of course...I am surprised that he understood me over my choking sobs, but I had managed to explain to him what had happened. I was waiting for his mom to pick him up, and then they were going to join me in my vigil at the hospital.

I wanted company, but at the same time I didn't want to deal with anyone right now. Gerard was potentially dying, and it was all my fault...how was I supposed to look his brother in the eye after that...

I had pestered the doctors and nurses endlessly, but all they could tell me right now was that Gerard was still unstable, and they would inform me when the situation changed...for better or for worse.

He had to pull through...he just had to. The thought of losing him caused me to shudder violently and sink even deeper into my cloud of misery. He couldn't die...not like this.

"Frank?" Mikey's voice cut through my grim thoughts, and I launched myself out of the hospital chair straight into his arms.

"Oh Mikey!" I wailed as his skinny limbs clutched me tightly. I lost complete control of myself and began crying into his shirt brokenly.

"It's going to be okay Frank. He will pull through this - I know he will." Mikey's words were laced with sorrow, and I knew he was just as terrified as I was, he was just holding himself together better.

"It's all my fault..." I whispered to myself, but Mikey still heard me.

"Frank - this isn't anyone's fault. Gerard has been having problems for a while, and you can't blame yourself. It doesn't help anyone."

"You don't understand...he did it because of me..." I shifted guiltily from foot to foot, waiting for Mikey to lash out at me in anger. I almost wanted him to, I felt like I deserved it, but he just maintained his usual poker face.

"What do you mean Frank?"

"I was talking to a friend of mine after school, and she kissed me out of nowhere...Gerard saw us, and that's why he did this...I was coming home to explain it to him, but I was too late. If I had been quicker, I could have stopped him..."

"Frank look at me." I reluctantly lifted my head to meet Mikey's eyes.

"You didn't do this. I know you love Gerard, and you would never intentionally hurt him, so please don't blame yourself." I nodded sadly, and he cracked a small smile.

I didn't know what else to say, so we sat next to each other in silence for what seemed an endless amount of a time until a friendly looking doctor with choppy black hair - and was that a hint of eyeliner - approached us from the direction they had taken Gerard in.

"Family of Gerard Way?"

"That's us," Donna spoke up for the first time all afternoon.

"Well - we have some good news. We managed to stabilize Gerard, and he should be all right." My heart soared at his words. Gerard was going to be okay!

"The bad news is that he still hasn't awoken. His body was put under a tremendous amount of stress, so we can't say for sure how long he will be out. It could be a few more hours, or it could end up being much longer. We just have to wait and see." My spirits plummeted back down again when I realized that I wouldn't be able to apologize to Gerard for quite some time.

"Can we see him?" I asked quietly.

"Yes, visitation is still open for another half hour." I immediately got up and rushed for Gerard's room. I had to make sure that he was really still here. I wouldn't truly allow myself to believe it until I saw him with my own eyes.

When I entered the dimly lit room, I drank in the site of my comatose boyfriend. He looked even paler than usual laid out in the stark white hospital bed. Both of his arms were heavily bandaged, and if it wasn't for the gentle rise and fall of his chest, I would have thought he was a corpse.

My eyes spilled over with tears for the hundredth time as I gathered his cold hand in mine.

"Hey Gee...I know you can't hear me, but I just wanted to say I am so sorry. I hate seeing you like this - I want you awake and healthy. I can't wait to tell you how much I love you and need you...please baby - wake up soon..." I ended on a whisper.

I was soon interrupted by Mikey and Donna, and I retreated to the back of the room to give them space. I couldn't stop staring at Gerard though; I was worried that if I looked away for a moment, he might not be there any longer.

All too soon, a nurse came and told us that visitation hours were over, and we had to leave for the night.

"Can't I stay here in the hospital at least? I want to be here when he wakes up," I begged the nurse desperately.

"Frank - don't be silly, your parents will be worried sick if you don't come home. Let me drive you there, and I will bring you back to visit him tomorrow," Mrs. Way assured me.

"But I don't want to go home..." I pouted sullenly.

"Come on honey, you can't stay here." Donna took my hand, which was still stained with Gerard's blood, and I followed her with heavy feet.

I felt a piece of my heart detach from me once we set foot outside the hospital...I would never be whole again until I knew Gerard was okay.

I had to muster every ounce of composure I possessed to not break down on the car ride home. I didn't want to lose control in front of Mrs. Way again...I was sure she had already begun questioning what exactly my relationship was with Gerard, and I didn't want to arouse her suspicions any further.

Glancing behind me, I noticed that Mikey was passed out in the back seat. I wish I could sleep, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw Gerard lying in a pool of his own blood on his bathroom floor.

"Thank you." I jumped in surprise when Donna's voice broke through the quiet car.

"For what?" I croaked out.

"For finding my son...if it hadn't been for you, he might not be here right now," she choked out, and I wished I could comfort her in some way.

"You don't have to thank me...I should have been there sooner - I could have stopped him."

"Honey, you did everything you could. I am really glad Gerard has you."

"What do you mean?" I questioned her nervously.

"I may not be home a lot, but I know my son, and I can tell he loves you to pieces."

"I - uh..." I stammered out, unable to form a coherent sentence because I was reeling from the fact that our hard kept secret had been exposed.

"Don't worry, I won't tell your parents. Your relationship may be a bit unconventional, but I trust my son, and I will support whatever makes him happy." She squeezed my hand gently as we waited for the traffic light to turn green.

"Thank you..." I tried to continue speaking, but my voice broke on a sob that had escaped my throat.

"It will be okay Frank."

"I just want him to wake up..." I whispered softly.

"I know dear - we all do, and he will, we just have to give him some time."

"I just feel terrible leaving him. What if he wakes up and we aren't there? I have so many things I need to tell him..."

"I will take you back tomorrow as soon as you get out of school. Your parents would be furious if I let you stay in the hospital alone all night." She smiled down at me, but her words didn't cheer me up - in fact - they had the opposite effect.

Without Gerard, I had no buffer to hide behind, and I would have to go home and face my stepfather...not to mention my mom, who was probably livid with me for not coming home in days. I wasn't emotionally strong enough to face them tonight...

"Mrs. Way...if it isn't too much trouble, could I stay at your house tonight? If not - it's totally fine - I was just wondering."

"Why don't you want to go home Frank?" she questioned.

"It's just...umm..." I stuttered, not wanting to explain my situation, but how else could I convince her to let me stay over?

"Gerard told me you had been spending the past few nights at our house, but he never said why. Is there something you want to talk about?"

A part of me wanted to pour my heart out to her and explain everything I had kept hidden from everyone except for Gerard. One the other hand, why would she want to know about all of my pathetic problems...her son just tried to commit suicide, and I didn't need to add anything else to her already full plate.

"No - sorry, it's okay. Just take me home."

She shot me a look that said she didn't believe my bullshit for one second, but she didn't press the matter any further, and for that I was grateful. A few minutes later, she stopped the car outside my house, and I had to physically force myself to exit the vehicle.

"Frank?" she called out just as I was about to close the passenger side door.

"Yeah?"

"If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to stop by - okay?"

"Thanks Mrs. Way. I may just take you up on that." She waved to me before driving back to her house, and I raised my hand back. I stood outside until the cold began to seep into my blood soaked clothing, but even then I wasn't ready to head inside.

At least neither of my parent's cars were currently residing in the driveway, which gave me time to clean up before they started asking questions I couldn't answer, but they would come home eventually, and then I wouldn't be able to escape the long coming lecture I was certain to receive. 

The last thing I needed after a day like today was a confrontation with my parents. Unfortunately I couldn't hide out here forever though; so with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I slipped my key into the lock, and entered my home for the first time all week.

-------------------------------------------

"Frank what happened to your face?" Mikey exclaimed when I sat down next to him at our usual lunch table; Gerard's vacant spot seemed to be mocking me, and I turned my back on it as if that would make me forget about his absence.

"Oh...uh...just got shoved into a locker earlier. It's no big deal," I lied through my teeth.

Mikey nodded in sympathy, he understood bullies, and there was no way I was telling him my stepfather did this.

It has been three weeks since...that day...and Gerard still hadn't woken up. Each hour without him was killing me slowly, and I didn't know how much longer I was going to last.

When I came back home, everything went fine at first. My mom promised that she would be around more, and my stepdad would lay off the booze, and he did - for all of five days.

Then she fell back into her usual work schedule and he fell back into the bottle. I had managed to avoid him mostly, until last night that is.

I had been watching an old horror movie on the couch, crying softly to myself after returning from visiting Gerard with still no response from him, when my stepdad had come home smelling like a bar. I tried to hide under the blanket, but my faint sniffling gave me away, and before I knew what was happening, my dad had smacked me across the face and called me a sniveling bitch...

"I'm not too hungry Mikes, I think I am going to skip out on school early today."

"Oh...okay Frank. Text me later so we can take you to go see Gee."

"Will do."

I shot out of my seat and exited the school as quickly as I dared while trying not to draw attention to myself. I made it as far as the bench where Gerard and I always used to smoke before I broke down completely.

I just couldn't do this anymore...how was I supposed to continue going to school and pretending everything was fine when my entire life was in shambles. My body felt as if it was made of glass, and I was seconds away from shattering.

I ached for Gerard's familiar arms to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay, but I might never feel his comforting embrace again if something didn't change with his condition.

I curled up on the cold metal seat and sobbed brokenly until I didn't have any breath left in my lungs and my eyes burned from the tears.

I needed my baby back...I wanted to hold him, and kiss him, and hear his wonderful voice again. I was beginning to lose hope that he would wake up, even the doctors were nervous about how long his coma had lasted.

Life seemed so bleak without his presence...everything had lost its appeal, and I was just going through the motions of living. Gerard didn't realize how much he meant to me, and it was my fault for not letting him know how important he was.

If he ever woke up, I would make sure he knew that he was the most beautiful person in the world to me, and that I couldn't carry on without him.

Oh god - this all hurt so much, I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand this agony...my stomach roiled and my chest constantly ached. I kept waiting for the pain to fade into numbness, but it grew more intense every day instead of lessening.

Little things like the sight of someone smoking would hit me like a blow to the chest, and I didn't know how much more I could take. I felt so helpless, there was literally nothing I could do except sit and wait as my heart slowly died with every passing day.

I gave myself feels writing this...poor Frankie!

Sorry my updates are getting farther and farther apart, work is getting crazy because of the holidays coming up, so I am trying to find time to squeeze in writing.

I don't have much else to say, so let me know what you thought of this chapter.

Stay beautiful

<3 star