So I know this whole story has been from Gerard's POV so far since it is his memories of Frank, but this chapter is going to be in Frank's POV to explain what happened with Jamia.

It's set at the last class of the day right before Gerard went looking for Frank.

*trigger warning*

Frank's POV

When I walked into math class - my least favorite subject - I was prepared to sleep my way through another monotonous lecture, but my nap was disrupted by soft sniffling sounds coming from behind me.

The teacher's back was turned since he was drawing some weird ass triangles on the board, so I spun around to see Jamia sobbing quietly.

I really liked Jamia, she was a nice girl, and one of the few people I actually enjoyed being around, we had similar music tastes too, which was always a bonus. I was surprised to see her crying, usually she was so happy it was border lining on hyperactive.

"Hey what's wrong?" I whispered, hoping the teacher didn't hear me.

"Oh...uh..." she began wiping her eyes hurriedly in embarrassment.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just don't like seeing you sad."

"No it's okay...it's just that..."

"Jamia! Frank! Stop talking and pay attention please," the teacher - whose name I couldn't be bothered to remember - snapped at us, and I turned around with what I hoped was a chastened look on my face.

Once he had gone back to his pointless scribbling, Jamia slipped a note onto my desk, and I opened it as quietly as I could.

Meet me after class in front of the school? I could really use someone to talk to.

I scribbled out my response in my basically ineligible handwriting, hoping she would be able to read it.

I'll be there

I snuck the note back to her, and then proceeded to try and at least fake paying attention so I wouldn't get yelled at again. A few minutes later, Jamia raised her hand and asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. With an exasperated expression on his face, the teacher agreed, and she bolted out the door as if she couldn't get out of the room fast enough.

I wasn't surprised when Jamia still hadn't returned by the time the final bell chimed out. Something was really eating at her...I hoped she was all right.

I pulled out my phone with the intention to text Gerard and tell him I would be a bit late meeting up with him, but I was met with a black screen. Stupid me forgot to charge my phone last night, and now it was dead. Oh well - I was pretty sure there was an outlet by the pillars out front, so I would text him then.

I gathered all my stuff and darted out the main doors of the school, but I didn't see Jamia anywhere yet. My lungs itched for a cigarette, but this area was too exposed, and I didn't want to get caught by a teacher, so I would have to wait.

I had just gotten my phone plugged in when I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned around to see Jamia's tear stained face.

"Hey there," I smiled up at her warmly.

"Thanks for meeting me Frank. I am sorry you had to see me like that," she blushed faintly.

"It's okay. You are my friend, and I was just worried about you. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Yeah...it's just my parents. They told me this morning that they are getting a divorce. I know it happens all the time, but I didn't see this coming at all..." she ended on a broken sob.

"Oh Jamia - I am so sorry... my parents split up not too long ago, so I know how much that hurts..." I couldn't find the right words to comfort her since my own wounds still stung from my parent's separation.

"I just don't know what to do Frank. I can't imagine life without both of them in it...dad says he will still visit me a lot, but it won't be the same..." She began to cry even harder, and I awkwardly put my arms around her in an attempt at being comforting.

"It's going to be okay...I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it will get better - I promise."

A few more minutes passed with me uttering empty promises while her tears soaked my t-shirt. I wished I could do more to help her, but there was nothing I could say to make this any easier.

Finally Jamia lifted her head and wiped her puffy eyes.

"I'm sorry Frank," she giggled half-heartedly, and I saw a glimpse of the usual Jamia breaking through.

"Don't be sorry. I was a wreck too when my parents broke the news to me. It's not an easy thing to stomach, believe me I know."

"You are such an amazing person...thank you so much for listening to me."

Jamia leaned forward, and before I could process what was happening, she had wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her lips against mine. I stood there in shock for a few seconds before pushing her away from me hastily.

"What the actual fuck Jamia!?" I tried not to yell, but it was hard to control my voice when I was internally freaking out at what she had just done.

"I'm sorry Frank...I just thought - I mean...you have been so nice to me lately, and I really like you, so I assumed you felt the same way..." She trailed off at the end, probably because I was shooting daggers at her with my eyes.

"Jamia I'm gay...you know that. I have a boyfriend for fucks sake!" Oh god - Gerard...how was I going to explain this to him? I hadn't technically done anything wrong, but he might not see it that way.

"I know...I'm sorry..." She began to cry again, and I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

"Jamia, you are a really nice girl, and I'm sure if I was straight - I would be into you, but I'm not okay? I love Gerard, and nothing is going to change that. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression or something." I glanced down at my now charged phone so I wouldn't have to maintain eye contact with Jamia, and I almost dropped it when I noticed the time...it was already four-thirty, and I hadn't let Gerard know where I was. I had a missed text from him, and one from Mikey as well...

"I am sorry Jamia, I have to go..." I called out to her as I took off running. A part of me felt guilty for leaving her without a proper explanation, but Gerard was the most important thing to me right now, and I honestly wanted to remove myself from this awkward situation as quickly as possible.

I wasn't really sure where I was going, I doubted Gerard had waited around school this long for me, but it was still a possibility. I sent him a text asking him where he was, but I didn't get a reply, so I asked Mikey if he was with Gerard, but he said that he was at Ray's.

After frantically searching the school for him, I decided to head back to his house. I had messaged him two more times, but still nothing from his end.

I was getting really worried now...he always responded to my texts, which meant something was really wrong for him not to answer. What if Thomas had gotten to him again? Fuck me - I'm such a terrible boyfriend...I should have met up with him first before I went to talk to Jamia.

I still couldn't believe she kissed me. Wiping my mouth against my sleeve as if that would erase the feeling of her lips on mine, I picked up my pace and hurried to find my boyfriend.

It seemed like the trip to his house took ages, but that was probably just because of my anxiety over Gerard's unusual silence.

I didn't know how I was going to make this up to him, but I would think of something...I had too. I loved Gerard too much to lose him over a stupid kiss that I didn't even want.

He had to understand once I explained it to him...even if it took forever, I would prove to Gerard that he was the only one for me.

Finally his familiar house came into view, and I jogged the last few feet as quickly as I could - which wasn't very fast considering I was a borderline midget, and I was already out of breath from how rapidly I had walked here.

The front door was unlocked as usual, so I let myself in. Dropping my bag onto the floor, I looked around, but I didn't see anyone home. Donna must be at work again, which meant Gerard was probably in his room.

"Baby?" I called out, but no one answered.

I glanced into the kitchen to see if he was getting something to eat, but he wasn't there. Someone had been though...there was shattered glass everywhere, and the strong smell of alcohol permeated the room.

"Shit..." I muttered to myself as I took the stairs two at a time.

Gerard had told me about his drinking problem, but he had been getting so much better. If he had turned back to the bottle, something terrible must have happened, and I wasn't there for him.

"Gerard!" I screamed when I found his room empty as well.

Fear was threatening to paralyze me now...where the fuck was my boyfriend!?

I checked Mikey's and his mom's room, but still nothing...all that was left was the bathroom. I jiggled the door handle, but someone had locked it from the inside.

"Gerard - if you are in there, please let me in..." I pleaded desperately.

"Go away..." a weak voice answered me.

My heart was pounding at a thousand miles a minute, and I could barely speak through the terror that was gripping my throat.

"Let me in baby...please," I begged brokenly.

I pressed my ear up against the door, but I couldn't hear anything besides a soft dripping sound.

"Fuck!" I cried out as I punched the door with all my might.

It shuddered slightly under my assault, but that it was it. Gerard didn't react to my aggressive action at all, and I was about to cry with frustration.

I wasn't going to let this stupid piece of wood separate me from the man I loved. Backing up as far as I could, I took a running start, and kicked the door with all the strength I could muster.

Either the adrenaline coursing through my veins gave me extra strength, or the door was weaker than it looked, because the wood shattered around my foot, allowing me to wrench it the rest of the way open.

"Oh god no..." I gasped out.

The sight that met my eyes was one hundred times worse than I ever imagined. I had expected to find a drunk Gerard, but not this scene out of my nightmares...

He had slit his wrists vertically all the way up his arms, his mangled flesh made me gag as I kneeled beside him in the rapidly growing pool of his own blood - that explained the dripping sound I had heard. The cuts were so deep...oh god - this was really fucking bad.

"Baby - please stay with me..." I sobbed as I bound up his mutilated arms with towels, unsure if that was going to help stop the bleeding at all, but I had to try something.

Blood continued to pour out of him, and the material was soon stained crimson red. I tore my phone out of my pocket and dialed 911 frantically, praying that I wasn't already too late.

"911 operator, what is your emergency?"

"I need an ambulance now! My boyfriend tried to commit suicide - please hurry!"

"Calm down honey, can you give me your address?"

I rattled it off quickly, and the operator assured me emergency services were on the way. I continued to cradle Gerard's semi-conscious body in my arms, putting as much pressure on his wounds as I could in a desperate attempt to lessen the massive amount of blood he was losing.

Gerard's lids opened lazily, and his usually vibrant hazel eyes looked hazy and drained.

"Why are you here?" he mumbled.

"What do you mean? Gerard, what happened...why did you do this?"

"Just let me die..." he whispered.

"I am never going to leave you...not ever, so don't you dare give up now. I don't want to live in a world without you in it. Please - don't do this to me baby - just hang on a little longer..." I started crying again, I just couldn't believe this was happening.

Gerard's face was even paler than normal, and he felt so cold in my arms. I clutched him as tightly as I could, trying to warm him with my body heat, but it wasn't working.

Where the fuck was that ambulance?

"I saw you with her..." he gasped out. My stomach dropped into my shoes when it finally hit me - Gerard had seen Jamia kiss me...it was my fault he was like this.

"No - you don't understand...she kissed me. I love you baby, only you. I told her that too. You are my everything..." I stroked his face gently, trying to keep him focused on me, but his eyes were turning glassy, and I wasn't sure if he could hear me anymore.

Finally the sounds of sirens wailed in the distance, but I was so terrified that they were going to be too late. If I lost Gerard because of this, I would never be able to forgive myself.

"I love you...I love you so much...please hang on...don't leave me..." I kept talking to him until I heard footsteps on the stairs, signaling the arrival of the EMT's.

"In here!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Two men entered the already cramped bathroom and removed Gerard from my arms. Another stood outside with a stretcher, which they quickly lifted him onto before wheeling him outside. I followed dejectedly, tears still streaming down my face.

"He's flat lining!" one of them exclaimed when they had gotten him hooked up to all sorts of fancy machines inside the ambulance.

I felt my own heart stop beating at those words...no this couldn't be happening. I couldn't lose him...not like this...oh god.

"Please do something - you have to save him!" I screamed desperately.

"We are doing everything we can. If you are riding with him, then get in now," one of the EMT's commanded.

I squeezed myself in next to Gerard and grasped his hand tightly in my own. The sirens began again, and we took off down the street like a bat out of hell.

I had basically shut down from the shock of the whole situation, and I tried my hardest to block out all of the awful sounds that surrounded me.

How could this have happened...I thought Gerard was doing so well. Guilt threatened to choke me when I realized that I hadn't been paying that close attention to him lately. I had been so wrapped up in my own problems, I had neglected to notice the warning signs Gerard had most likely been giving off.

Everything had just gotten so crazy and mixed up...Gerard had become my lifeline lately, and I had almost forgotten how much he needed me as well.

He had to make it through this so I could apologize to him and spend the rest of my life proving to him how much I loved him...

Ugh I just got back from a 15hr shift, but I wanted to upload this before I went to bed :)

So now you guys know what happened with Frank and Jamia, and he is definitely not a cheater.

(Pointless rant time because that's basically what I use these authors notes for)

So I have been gaining weight lately, and I know that's technically a good thing because it means my thyroid is working properly again, but at the same time, I feel super gross, and I want to be skinny again...I am trying really hard to eat better, but it's difficult with my crazy work schedule, and I don't know what to do. Urgh...

Anyway I hope you guys liked this chapter! I am feeling better about this story now that I have gotten into the juicer parts of it, so thank you all for getting it to 500 reads :)

((((good vibes))))

<3 star