I was in the waiting room, waiting to see Mark. It was about 2 hours since i had gotten the phone call, and I was about to explode from anxiety. All I know is, my idol might disappear, right in front of my eyes...

The last thing I knew, I was in the waiting room. Now, I'm still in the hospital, just not in the waiting room. This is so crazy. I was in Mark's room, although it wasn't... good. Not at all.

Mark was in critical condition. Like he was gonna die at any moment. Normally, the thought would have killed me from the inside out. Now, it's just like a simple action. Like it was no big deal, like it would never change my life drastically, forever.

I sat there, watching Mark. Watching so intently, that the slightest movement would make me jump out of my skin. Suddenly I hear a noise. Not any noise. It was that long, horrible beep you hear from the heart monitor. Only, I just sat in silence, watching my first, last, and only love slip from my life. Only then did I realize, that I loved Mark as more than a friend. More than a roommate. More than someone I look up to.

I suddenly woke up to the feeling of being shook. I didn't have any slightest idea of what was going on. That dream... that was freaky. I was being shook awake by a nurse. I sat up straight with a jolt, making both the nurse and the doctor jump. They told me to follow them to Mark's room, and I immediately obliged.

They led to Mark's room, where I instantly felt dread. It felt exactly like my dream... but, how? They told me Mark's condition. Blah, blah. I didn't listen. I only heard little snip-bits, like "blood loss", "cancer", "die", "can't save him"...

I didn't really seem to care. Exactly like the dream, I was numb. Numb to all the world. Numb to the pain of reality. So, when the beep sounded in my ears, I followed the nurses instructions and let them push me out the room. Then, I made a drastic decision. I quickly left the hospital, before the emotions could catch me again.

I went to our house, to my bedroom, and found my stash... of razors. I didn't feel any pain when the blade slid across my skin, I-I didn't feel anything. Only the feeling of my own life flashing before my eyes. I made the cuts, and lied back on my bed, and watched my wrist bleed out. The only things I heard before I left the world for good, was the sirens of an ambulance, paniced voices from hospital authorities, and the long constant beep.

Finally. Peace at last.