12: Her Mental Health

Na'im was seated in his car as he was about to leave work when he remembered that he had told Dr Nafisa he was going to call her. He left the car on and pulled his phone out of his breast pocket as he dialed her number. It rang for the first time and on the second ring, she had picked the call as if she had been waiting for him to call.

"Good evening, Dr. I'm sorry, I got hooked with lots of paperwork to get time for a phone call and it's even dark now." He sincerely apologized, for he truly hated it when he promised something and he wasn't able to fulfill his promise like he said.

He could hear the sound of her smile through the phone, "It's no problem, Captain." Nafisa had realized that when she called him Captain, he was more free with her and she decided to do that, just for the time being, at least. Before she reminded him of her love and they would rekindle their relationship like she earnestly prayed. "I was just getting off from work as well, let's talk."

"Yes, what have you realized about her? Please don't hold back anything from me." He was skeptical when he said that because somehow, Na'im felt like Maryam would open up more to Dr Nafisa than she would ever do to him and besides, she was a psychologist and her job was making people trust and open up to her. He wanted to know if there was something wrong with her or there was something she wanted for her to be acting the way she did.

Nafisa sighed before she decided to do what he asked because if she kept everything short of professional, their phone call might be short and she wanted to keep on hearing his voice for as long as she could. "I think she's autistic, from the little things I've gathered from her, Captain. I'm not an expert in that field so I'll just keep on taking notes and when I feel its enough, I can refer her to another doctor that will help her with therapy and everything. But apart from that which she was born as, there seems to be a problem with her, and that problem is you." Na'im was taken aback by her words. He was her problem? Well, he was just speechless that he didn't even know what he was say and he knew he wasn't going to argue with that.

"How am I her problem?" He couldn't help but ask. Because if anything, she was the one being his problem and not the other way round!

Nafisa chuckled softly, "Okay, calm down first. It's nothing as bad as you're trying to make it seem. She's afraid of you, Captain, terrified would be the better word. She panics whenever she sees you and seem to be relaxed when you're out of her sight. So I asked her a few things about you to see, so we can see if the relationship between the two of you might help her mental health.

"First, the insurgency that happened in their village was traumatizing enough to have her this way even if she wasn't autistic in the first place. But another event has occurred more than that, and it seems she's sticking to it and whatever it is, you're connected to it. And when I asked her what she feels about you, upfront, she said she hates you. And I'm sure she hates you for that thing. What do you think it could be?"

Na'im had never been dumbstruck like today. She hated him? Woah, he had never seen someone so sharp and bitter tongued like this girl. She even had the guts to say that she hated him? He should've been the one to say that before she did. But he lied to her, because there was no way he was going to tell her that he had her at a gunpoint just last night and if there was anything that Maryam would hate him for, it would be that.

"I think the only thing that would be the reason for her hatred towards me is when her father was leaving, I had to be a bit harsh at her because she insisted that she followed him. Maybe she held a grudge on me because of that." He lied instead, because what would he have told the woman he wanted to hide everything from?

Nafisa sighed, "Maybe you should try and be soft towards her, Captain. She might really lose her mind at this rate. And even though I'm sure there's something more going through her mind, you might even get her to open up more to you than me. Because even with how she claimed to hate you and all the fear she has for you, there's a way that her body changed when you came in, her eyes to be precise and it was only possible when one felt safe and easy around another person. She trusts you more than she would trust me, get her to talk to you." They spent over an hour with Nafisa telling him how he was supposed to treat and speak to Maryam as that would certainly improve her mental health. Na'im was just listening to her, not that he knew if it was possible for him to do any of the things she had mentioned. She promised to be back to check up on her in a week after he told her that she couldn't be brought to the hospital for a session and she gladly accepted the house consultation again.

Na'im drove back to Shehuri as they called their palace in Maiduguri, with his mind clogged with different thoughts. He drove directly to his chamber and got into a shower, even though she had promised him that she would forward everything pertaining Maryam's autism to a professional, he silently prayed that it wouldn't be as serious as she made it sound. He took his bathe and ate the dinner that was brought to him and when he asked them to come and pick it, Na'im was seated in the living room when a maid walked in with her eyes fixed on her feet as she walked towards the dining table.

He could remember seeing her in his chamber for some years, maybe three years to say the least. She was about to take the tray out when he spoke, "Hey, come over." She dropped the tray with her hands shaking as she walked back to the living room. She knelt far away from him and her whole body shook for she thought she had done something wrong to him. "What's your name?" Na'im asked, he was thinking that she would be the perfect maid he was looking that would take care of Maryam.

"My name is Bilkisu, Your Highness." She bowed and her voice trembled.

"How old are you?" He asked again, because he thought the age gap shouldn't be big between them for them to be friends.

"I'm 19 years old, Your Highness." Perfect, Na'im thought as he smiled.

"Be at ease, Bilkisu. I have a work assigned for you but it's outside the palace, will you be able to do it? I'll pay you ten times your salary but you have to live in a house everyday." She looked up at him with a terrified expression and he slightly shook his head, "You have someone to take care of, not a child but she's nothing less of a child. Will you be able to do it?" That seemed to ease her mind and she frantically nodded her head.

"With utmost joy, Your Highness."

He stood up, "Good, get your things ready, I'll take you to the house in fifteen minutes." He walked to his room to get ready and didn't wait to hear her answer and he heard when the main door was closed in a rush. Na'im wondered how Maryam was able to live in that house alone for all these hours and she had nothing to do. He doubted if she could even turn the TV on for her to get things out of her mind.

He had already gotten the royal guards he would take to the house waiting for them, and when he went out, they were standing in front of his chamber and he motioned for them to get into the car. The guards stood still, "You can't drive us, Your Highness."

Na'im chuckled and spoke, "Get in, please. Since I chose you to do this for me that means I trust you and you can think of me as a soldier, not a prince if you feel like you're committing a sin by doing that." Reluctantly, they all got into the car and they drove silently to Damboa road.

They rushed and opened the gate after he had handed them the key before he drove inside and Bilkisu got out with her bagpack in hand. She kept looking around at the mansion she was now in. Even though she was used to luxury in the palace, she was certain this house was beautiful enough as well. She waited as he spoke to the two guards and explained everything to them before he walked up to her and asked her to follow him.

They stood in the living room while he showed her everything and when they went to the kitchen, he saw that the shopping he had asked Jafar and Faruk to do was already there in the kitchen. They were on their way to Maryam's room when he turned to her, "There are a few things about her that I'd like you to keep in mind." She nodded her head that was bowed slightly and hummed, "You can't touch her unless she's aware that you're going to do that, lest she'll panic and might even lose her consciousness. She hardly speaks, but that doesn't mean she's deaf, it only means that she doesn't like to speak. So, all you have to do is get her be comfortable with you and she might be able to speak often. Also, when speaking to her, speak slowly because she needs sometime to access words before she understands them..." Na'im had to pause because he had never realized that he had known this much about Maryam until now. At this rate, he could write a brief article about her. 

All Bilkisu did was nod her head as she answered respectfully and he was about to turn the doorknob when he turned to her. "Don't ever mention that I'm a prince or shehuri to her, okay? Even though I doubt if she knows the palace uniform for maids, but start wearing your normal clothes from now on, I've asked the guards to do that as well."

"Yes, Your Highness." Na'im cringed softly. But he knew there was no way he could stop them from calling him 'Your Highness' because what would they refer to him as? They would rather be killed than call him by his name to his face.

"I'll call for you after I explain everything to her, so be on standby." He said and closed the door behind him. The room was engulfed with darkness that he wondered if she had moved since Nafisa left. He had ordered food for her and was sure it had been delivered since he had seen it untouched in the kitchen. He turned the light on and from the bed, she groaned and lifted herself up.

When she saw that it was him, Maryam shifted behind on the bed but when he managed to look into her eyes, he saw what Nafisa had told him before. Her eyes looked calm and assured of her safety than her body cared to admit and he walked to the bed without a second thought. He sat at the edge and patted the space a bit close to him, "Come and sit here." He ordered, and even though it took her minutes to do what he had asked her to, she did.

"Have you prayed today?" He couldn't help but ask, because seeing her curled on this bed made him think if she had moved from the bed. She nodded her head yet when his eyes cut into a slit at her choice of response, Maryam gulped down a lump in her throat.

"Yes, I prayed 5 times." She lifted her hand involuntarily and showed him her five fingers. The small gesture made him smile, but he had suppress it as fast as it crossed his lips.

"Why did you not eat the lunch I sent for you?" He wanted to start asking her with the simplest things as Nafisa suggested, so that when she got accustomed to answering those questions, she might open up to him with the bigger issues.

"I wasn't hungry." He saw tears glistening her eyes but she was fast enough to stifle them back and he couldn't help the empathy he felt for her. Maybe she was afraid, or she had even been looking around to see if he was coming back and when she was certain that he wouldn't and it had already turned dark, she curled herself on her bed.

"Were you afraid?" Na'im couldn't help himself but ask, and Maryam took some minutes before she was able to reply. She contemplated on whether to say yes to him or not, but it seemed like no matter how much she thought she wasn't sharing her worries with Intisar, she was. Because it turned out that she had missed talking to someone, she had missed admitting to her fears and worries.

"I was scared. It was getting dark and I didn't know how to turn on the light like you do." She used her thumb to clear the lone tear that rolled down her cheeks. "When I went to the living room, I could hear my footsteps and I got scared that there might be a ghost in the house. I was hungry but the kitchen seem far away, so I run back into my room."

This was the longest she had ever spoken to him. Normal words of her expressing herself and even though each word came out of her mouth with such difficulty that was palpable and she had her eyes clenched shut as if she felt suffocated by her own words, Na'im was amazed at the sincerity of her words. And he felt himself being weighed down by guiltiness. "Open your eyes," he ordered, but in a soft voice that seemed to be be the exact one he had spoken to that doctor with and Maryam didn't know when she did what he had asked of her.

She found out that he was staring at her face, "I'm not going to harm you," he warned and she watched his hand outstretching towards her that she went still until he held her shoulder and brought her head to his laps. Na'im didn't know why he was doing that, but he thought she needed some comfort, and even though he might not touch her the way an actual comfort meant, seeing that she had done the same to him meant that this was a physical touch approved by her body system. He rested her head on his laps and she sighed before she closed her eyes, relaxing a bit.

"You don't have to answer, just listen to me, okay?" She nodded and he wondered if there was a body language more loved by her than a head nod. "I'm sorry that I stayed out long to leave you all alone. But I brought someone with me, she's going to be your maid and will do everything you want." She tried to jerk up at that but he gently pulled her back. She had her eyes opened now and while she turned to look up at his face, Na'im nearly got lost in her eyes.

"Her name is Bilkisu and she's going to treat you nicely so you have to be free with her and trust her, okay?" She nodded again, even though he could see the her guards were back at the mention of a total stranger. "She's not going to harm you, okay?" She nodded again.

Na'im turned to the door, totally forgetting that Maryam's head still rested on his laps as he called out to Bilkisu, whom walked into the room in a few seconds and she had her head bowed down. It was only when she walked in that he remembered what was going on but there was no way to change it, she had already seen it, but he knew that she would never say a word about it to anyone.

"She's here, I've told you her name, right?" He gently asked and she nodded before she sat upright. The way they acted, one would think they had never fought, that there was no way he would've had a gun pointed at her head just yesterday night.

"Bilkisu," she repeated the name he had told her but to her surprise, the girl turned to look at her and slightly bowed her head, "Yes, Your Highness. My name is Bilkisu and I'm here to serve you."

She turned to Na'im with a discombobulated expression and he chuckled softly, "You see? I told you she's a nice lady, isn't she? She'll be staying with you in this house." He stood up before she even had time to assimilate what he had said, "Let's go to the living room, you have to eat and I'll show you something." They walked towards the door while Bilkisu moved aside to give them way to pass and when Maryam was about to walk by her side, she moved closer to him as though she had thorns she was afraid of getting inflicted with. Na'im chuckled softly and when she looked up at him due to the sound, he said, "Come here, I told you she wouldn't hurt you. She's your friend." As he held her wrist and for the first time, Maryam didn't panic when he touched her.

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