Chapter Eleven

Daniel

It was late dusk, and my eyes had to adjust for a second before I realised where I was. My surroundings were unfamiliar, but it looked a lot like an empty school classroom. I was sitting on a desk, in the middle of a room, the rest of the desks forming a big circle around me. I looked around at the desks, but nobody sat there. I couldn't move my arms but when I looked down, I didn't seem to be restrained. I couldn't move from where I sat either, but it felt more like my clothes were glued to the chair. A thud to the front of the room made me look up and I saw a figure standing by the blackboard, holding onto a metal pointer.

As I tried to focus on the figure, I came to notice that it didn't possess any facial features. It seemed male, with a muscular tall build and a three-piece suit, but it had no eyes. No nose. No mouth.

"Repeat after me:" the figure started saying, the jaw moving but no mouth opening. "Do not stop," the male voice boomed. It sounded layered and louder than it should have been. As if it was coming off of speakers. With the pointer, the figure hit the board and drew my attention to the three words written there. The three words he had uttered. "Say it!"

"Do not stop," I whimpered, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Right there, yes!" the voice kept going. The words on the board changed to those it was calling out, no hand needed to write them.

"Right there, yes," I repeated, as a tear ran down my face.

"Say it as you mean it!" the voice yelled and I saw the hand that was holding the pointer move, seconds before the end of the pointer hit my cheek, its force making my head spin.

I repeated the words, with more force this time.

"That's a good boy," a different, more melodic voice purred in my ear. I shivered.

"Adam!" the ruff voice of the figure by the board echoed. I focused my eyes on it again. It seemed closer now, but I hadn't moved. Or I think I hadn't moved. "Say you like it. Say you want it," it said, with more need in its tone.

I started shaking my head. I didn't like it. I didn't want it. I didn't want...

A bright light blinded me for a second, and when my eyes could see again, I noticed I was in a golden room. There were no desks around and no faceless figures. I was alone.

My hands were tied up by a thick chain, that was keeping me up on me toes. And I was cold. I tried to look down, and when I finally did, I saw that I wore no clothes. Everything hurt. My lower back. My arms. My chest. My jaw.

I felt a hand on my back and I jumped. An exclamation of disapproval echoed in the room from whoever had their hand on me. The hand moved from between my shoulder-blades downward, but as it reached the small of my back I jerked forward and away from the hand.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" a loud yell echoed and before I could even register what was going on the hand wrapped around me and pressed me against a male body.

I moved around trying to free myself as I felt skin against mine. A deep laugh sounded next to my ear and I sobbed. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted this to stop.

The hand that was keeping me in place moved down and took hold of my penis. I jerked again, trying to free myself. The grip of the hand tightened around me.

"Hm... so hard..." the deep voice chuckled. "I knew you liked it..."

"No!" I yelled out, jumping up and coming to the realisation that it was all a nightmare.

I was in Ev's bed. I was in Ev's bed. I was safe. I am safe. Am I?

I was ripped away from my thoughts as I realised that I had an erection. Panic struck and my eyes looked around only to see that Ev wasn't back yet. He was still out with his friend. But why had I gotten hard from... that?

My heart was still pounding, and I noticed Omen lying next to me. She had raised her head a bit when I had jumped awake, but after judging that nothing was wrong, she placed her head down on the mattress and closed her eyes, ready to sleep again.

"Just go away," I muttered under my breath, turning my hands into fists, trying to get rid of my erection. "I didn't like it... I didn't like it..." I started repeated.

But it persisted. I pushed back the covers and stood up. I tried to keep my gaze straight forward and walked to the window. My eyes snapped to the table and I quickly scanned it for the cigarette pack, but it wasn't there. Ev must have taken it with him.

"No," I said and let out a scared exhale.

I needed... I needed...

I frantically looked around the drawer with the kitchen utensils and a loud sob came out when I ended up not finding a sharp knife. Or even a pair of scissors. Nothing that could...

Another sob broke through me and I fell to my knees. It wasn't going away. I pressed my forehead against the wooden cabinet and started crying violently. I didn't want it to happen. Why did my body always react like that? Why was I asking for it?

I pried open the cabinet I was leaning against and placed my fingers inside. Pain helps, I thought to myself. With my head, I pushed against the door of the cabinet, not hard enough to break my fingers, but hard enough to send a jolt of pain down my spine.

Almost immediately I pulled my hand out and shook it, trying to ease the pain quickly. I hated that feeling, but it was better than what my body was reminding me of. Tears were still blurring my vision, but I could see that my fingers were red, but they weren't broken. I knew how it felt to break my fingers. How it felt to break bones in general, to be exact.

I sat down on the floor and tried to calm myself. I would sob and then take in a quick jaded breath and I was almost certain I would end up with the hiccups. A loud meow to my right, made me turn my head and look down at Omen, who was now awake and rubbing her head on my right knee. I reached out for her with my uninjured hand and gave her a good chin scratch. Then I leaned down and pressed my lips on the top of her head before slowly standing up and bracing myself against the cabinet.

I stood there for a moment as I took a deep breath and then I took two steps and found myself next to the windows again. It was still pretty dark outside, but slowly I could tell that morning was coming. The view from Ev's apartment was the front of the building, which was also a parking lot for the residents. So, basically for Ev and his one neighbour. I could easily make out her car, as well as both Ev's car and motorcycle. He hadn't gone to work with his motorcycle?!

My red fingers found the handle of the window before me and grabbed it. I stood there for a second. My eyes fixated on the dark ground before the window. The fall wasn't going to be big, but as long as Ev didn't come back soon and no one else noticed me on the ground by the time the sun would be up I'd be gone. It would be all over. No more pain. No more nightmares. No more memories.

They wouldn't find me. They wouldn't get to me. I'd be free. I would truly be safe.

I felt Omen loudly complain by my feet. My hand twisted the handle and just as I pulled the window open a cab stopped before the building. I froze in my place and quietly watched. The back door opened and Ev got out. He stretched his arms upward and waved the cab driver before walking up to the building's front door.

Shit.

I stumbled backwards, as I realised Ev was on his way upstairs and I let go of the window's handle. Quickly I got back in bed, turning my back to the other side of the bed where Ev would lie. I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep or just calm down.

I almost jumped when I heard Ev open the door and walk inside. I kept my eyes closed, but I heard him take a few steps and then remove his boots, just as he closed the door behind him. He locked the door and the next thing I heard was him leaving his keys on the table. Then he must have taken off his jacket and changed clothes as I heard clothes rustle.

"Hey, baby girl..." Ev muttered. "You're up already?" he went on. Omen meowed back at him and he shushed her. "Let's not wake him up, huh?" he said and yawned.

I felt a shift on the mattress as Ev slowly got under the covers and then he yawned again. He turned around a bit, trying to find the right way to sleep and took a deep breath.

"I hope you're sleeping well, Danny..."

I almost spoke out at that. But before I knew it, Ev was already fast asleep. After I was sure his breathing was deep enough, I slowly turned around quietly and looked at him.

He had fallen asleep on his back, his head turned to me, one hand over his head while the other under the covers. He hadn't removed the black eyeshadow he had put on before going to work, and I could easily make out traces of lipstick on his neck. His hair colour was slowly fading out and I remembered him mentioning something about dying it again soon.

I reached up and touched my golden locks. As the fingers I had injured minutes ago went through my hair I couldn't help but hate how long it was. How easy it was to run your hand through them. To grab a handful of them and...

I needed to cut it. I really needed to cut it.

I lowered my hand again and closed my eyes. I didn't want to fall asleep just yet, but I also didn't want to get out of bed this early. Just a few more minutes...

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