This might a little triggering but I just wanted to kinda vent...

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I can't stop overthinking...
When I do...
I manage to be fine and calm...
But when I stop...
Everything comes crashing down...
I can't help but watch...
I can't help but feel the many emotions...
So sickening...
That I want to throw up...
And look down to see my own blood...
I wouldn't be horrified...
I would wear a truly friendly smile...
It's not my fault...
It's not my thoughts...
My mind has control of whatever...
What it wants...
Is what I will crave...
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Sorry... I just needed to sorta vent...