October 16th, 12:42 am

Current Location: Memphis, TN
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Gunshots. Screaming. Blood spilling everywhere. My dreams constantly contained these violent images, and I had no idea how to stop them. Ever since the fight, it's been practically impossible to get decent rest. As it has been for the past couple of weeks, I laid wide awake in my bed. I had Braxton nearby, asleep. Bethany suggested that it was good to have some family time after all of...that. I didn't argue against it.

Those thoughts brought me back to Navarez; the man who died due to internal wounds shortly after the battle. It was definitely sad, seeing him go right in front of me, but it was also a relief. He didn't have to suffer more than he should have, and that was what counted.

He told me to take charge, but how was I supposed to do that? I promised him that I would, but now that I think about it, it didn't make a lot of sense to me. I figured he meant becoming a leader, but there were a bunch of possibilities. It stressed me out, not knowing.

On top of this, Damien has been silent or a few nights now. He used to visit me during the nights and give me some good advice, but now he's silent. It's not like I asked him to help me out in the first place, but he was still helpful, even though he almost killed me twice.

I scribbled my final words in the new journal I got, and this was my third one. I closed it and set it on the nightstand beside me. Glancing over at Braxton, he was still somehow fast asleep next to me. I didn't know how he could sleep, but I didn't dare wake him up. He's finally beginning to talk and open up a little more now, and I'm excited to witness it. I wished Mom could see it, but I'm sure she already has been.

I turned my lamp off and rested my head back on the pillow for what felt like the hundredth time. I knew that from here on out, things would get rough. Winter was dawning, and there was no predicting on how that would turn out. We could only hope that it would treat us nicely, but that was a long shot. If it was already cold after the Battle of Memphis, as the camp members called it, then it's probably going to be pretty brutal if we don't head south soon. It hasn't snowed or anything like that yet, and we hope that it won't anytime soon.

Eventually, these thoughts allowed me to close my eyes for a while. I listened to the soft humming of the fan next to me, gently blowing on my legs. I fell asleep, wishing I was home, with my little brother and sister and both of my parents.

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The conscious alarm in my head woke me up that morning, and I found Braxton still asleep with his back to me. I crawled out of the bed and stretched my legs. My ankles cracked as I bent them. Picking my phone up (yet I was still surprised it worked), I found a text from Bryan, saying that they would meet us in the dining hall for breakfast, and he, Amelia and Olivia, and Evelyn were already there. I replied, saying that we'd be there in fifteen or so minutes.

I wondered if Dad was okay, since he wasn't mentioned. I figured that Braxton and I would check up on him after we leave.

I threw some good clothes on before I shook Braxton awake. His eyes fluttered open as he fixed them on me. I told him that Bryan and the others are waiting on us, and we both got ready for another day at the camp.

When we stepped outside, the chilly air swept across my body. It felt good, yet it gave me a sense of immense dread. It was perfect for a jacket or hoodie.

Braxton and I reached Dad's cabin, and I knocked on the door. It took him a long minute to answer, and he greeted us with a painful smile.

Olivia's words from the first few days in Baltimore washed over me yet again. She saw how much he was hurting, and I then kicked myself for not realizing it sooner. Damien later confirmed it with me right before the battle, and I surely knew that he was growing weaker and weaker as time continues to progress.

We all walked together to the dining hall, and out of the corner of my eye, I watched him walk. He seemed mostly fine, but every now and then, you'd see a slight grimace form at his face.

I looked around as we walked. There was still a good amount of wreckage from the fight a couple of weeks ago. A few people were still trying to clean up the mess that the Raiders left us.

I opened the door to the dining hall and found our usual seats. Bryan gave me a look that told me that something was definitely off. I sat down across from him and asked what was wrong.

He turned his head to face me. "She left."

Confused, I looked around the table. Amelia and Evelyn were here, but they looked upset as well. "Who left?"

"Bethany," Amelia answered solemnly. "She left for Arkansas. All we know is that Scott got a note saying that she's going to go find the rest of her family, the little one she actually has. She's not coming back."

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