She didn't say she was coming, but she didn't say no either.

So I am holding on to that technicality as if my life depended on it, and I must have tried one too many shirts on before finally making up mind for that ridiculous sweater I bought last year.

It is really hard for me to fathom the notion that all that time have passed since then. Not to mention that another year will have to come to pass before we even get to decide whether we can make it work or not.

About that, I can't say that I am thrilled by the idea, nor looking forward to the twelve months laying before me. If it were entirely up to me I would start things over right this second. But since it is not, I am happy to accept her terms and prove to her, once and for all, that we can pull through anything.

I take another look in the mirror and I roll my eyes at the sight of the beer drinking elf that is knitted at the front of my sweater, winking an eye at me in a rather surprisingly well achieved lascivious expression.

"You better be here." I mutter, wiping my suddenly wet palms.

I don't know exactly what I'm expecting of tonight if she comes, but I am fairly nervous and excited. And I just hope my mother was thorough with the placement of the mistletoes, so I can have the perfect excuse to steal at least one kiss that would last me for a year.

Luckily, I don't have to wait much to see her walk through the front door.

She is greeted by my mother, who very politely takes her coat as she shreds it of her shoulders, and I am fortunate enough to have a few seconds to admire her before she spots me in the small crowd that is gathered in the room.

She always looks beautiful to me, because she is beautiful. But since our relationship has been mostly behind closed doors, and we never really went out on a proper date where we would get all dressed up for the occasion, I don't think I've ever seen her like this before.

And it is doing a lot of things to my body and my heart, which will most definitely add a new level of difficulty to the already impossible task of saying goodbye to her tonight.

The dressed she picked, hopefully with a very deceitful agenda to make things happen tonight - which I would totally fall for if she did -, is made of a velvety dark green fabric that hugs her in the right places and then falls loose and wavy, gracing her mid thighs.

Her legs are bare all the way to her ankles, and I just take them in as slowly as I can, swallowing down the water that suddenly filled my mouth.

And the cleavage, dear mother, it is not that revealing, but to me, at this point, it might as well be.

It's been a really long time, and this is the first time that I can manage to come out of my funk long enough to feel it. And it is because of her in that dress.

"Fuck..." I bite out when she starts walking towards me.

And it could be just a figment of my now heated imagination, but she seems to glide about quite provocatively. Almost gazelle like.

She is now close enough for me to smell her, and that is the final push I needed. Fuck. Again.

"Hi." Her hand goes to my hip so she can keep herself steady when she gets in her tiptoes to put a chaste kiss on my cheek. "Nice knitwear." And she giggles near my ear.

Right. I had totally forgotten that I look like a proper wanker.

"Yeah... well..." I stutter, clearing my throat nervously and she laughs again before saying that she quite likes it.

"It's adorable." She adds and her hand slides up my chest, softly patting at the pervert little fucker plastered on it.

This is not my imagination. She is toying with me. And out of all the games we have been playing lately, this is a much more fun one which I am willing to go along with.

Maybe she changed her mind. Maybe she realized she can't wait another three hundred and sixty five days to be together. Maybe the sweater did the trick.

Whatever works for her, I guess.

"You clean up rather nicely, too." I hardly manage to brush it off, the wanting, and I turn around to grab two glasses of champagne from the table behind me. "I didn't think you'd make it."

She smiles, in a rather feline manner if I may add, wrapping her fingers around the glass I'm offering her. And the way she grazes mine, lingering for just a brief moment, lets me know that this party could end up better than I was expecting.

We are definitely going to need a much bigger mistletoe.

"My dad had to work at the last minute,  go figure!" She rolls her eyes playfully, and takes a small sip. "So it was just me and my mom."

The moment she says that, I see her mother over her shoulder. She's talking to my mum and being introduced to some people.

"I see..." I frown and then bite my lip.

"What?" She asks, analyzing my face with her blue eyes beaming up at me. "Is that a problem?"

Well, I don't know. Is there, really? Having both of our mothers in the same premises isn't exactly the best scenario for doing the things I have currently running through my head, but it's not exactly something that I couldn't work with.

In fact, if I could perform with her father at the other side of the hall, this shouldn't be a problem.

"Not at all." I shake my head energetically. "I'm really happy you're both here. Sorry about your dad, though. I know Christmas is a big deal for you."

She smiles and nods her head, shrugging like it's not a really a big deal, and I get this urge to wrap my arms around her. But I don't, because I don't think I could hide my... emotions.

I walk her around the room, offering her some food and introducing her to the few curious guests that come up to us as my friend.

She looks at me on the sly whenever I use that word, and she even chuckles at the tone I use, as if I resented the word.

And I do. Terribly.

She seems happy and relaxed, and although the flirtation is still there it is now clearly less evident. And all I can think about is that I need to get her alone sooner rather than later.

My enthusiasm has cooled down a little, thankfully, but there's still that perfectly sweet scent oozing from her hair each time she moves. And that damn dress.

"I need some air." I say, tugging playfully at the hemline of her skirt, and she slaps my fingers away in the same manner.

But she follows me. And the chill air of the night hits us in the face as soon as I lead her out to the backyard.

Despite the really cold weather, and even knowing than no one would be so keen as to step outside on a night like this, Gemma took it upon herself to decorate the threes and every other surface with countless Christmas lights and red flowers.

She even set up a few speakers from which the soft music, barely audible amongst the chatting inside, is perfectly heard in this silence.

Lea looks around her with a smile upon her face, and I just stand there, admiring how the lights ignite sparkles in her irises.

After a short while, I notice that she starts to sway a little, and then her eyes go a little wide.

"Is that... you?"

I wasn't paying real attention to the music until she makes that remark, and I frown in confusion.

I would kill Gemma for stealing the song, but the expression on Lea's face forces me to discard that course of action.

"Maybe." I respond cryptically, shooting her a one sided smirk. "Come here."

I snake my arm around her, pulling her towards me and cheering on the inside at the fact that she doesn't even try to resist me.

"It's sad. I don't like it." She states rather serious, sliding her hands up my arms until they meet at the back of my neck. "I mean, I like the song, but..."

I don't think about it. I don't stop to consider anything other than her breath grazing my mouth, or the perfume of her hair.

I just dive into her and I try, with everything that I have, to kiss that nonsense of waiting a whole year right out of her head.