Okay, so this isn't a laughingful (that's a word now) chapter of my technical rants book.

So my two best friends and I, I'm not saying who, but I pray to Cheesus Rice they don't get this notification that I updated this but my brain is like a broken car battery and idk.

Anyways, back to the topic, we were hiking (well, going off trail, but same difference) today and it started raining and then one my friends left because she hates, let's call her H, because that's definitely not at all related to her name. *looks around like I just killed someone*

Anyways, so it was just me and, um, let's call him Z, so we stopped to let me drink some water (we had water bottles. We were not drinking river water or anything. Ew.) Anyways, he just stared at me with this weird look. Then we started walking again to our destination.

So we we're sitting on this one ledge that we've gone to since third grade, and omg this sounds so made up rn, but the rain stopped in time for the sunset and this is where it got like a fairytale.

Me: The sunset is beautiful.

Z: Not as beautiful as you.

So I naturally laughed because, I, being the socially awkward wall of doom, never consider myself beautiful. And he just sits there with a serious face and I stopped laughing.

Me: So you meant that?

Z: Jazzy. I don't kid about this stuff. I like you a lot. Hell, I'd call it love because I don't know anything anymore. I'm tired of you ranting on about guys you like, I'm not your gay best friend. You don't know how much I hate that. I try to get you to notice me. But I guess I'm too far in the friend-zone to expect you to feel this way.

He kinda laughed at that. I know, that was like a romance book quote. So this whole time I thought he was gonna start laughing like a madman. But nope. I just sat there with a red face (I WAS NOT BLUSHING. THE RAIN WAS COLD AND IT WAS HUMID!), while Z just stared at me.

Me: You're seriously serious. Cheesus rice...

Z: *laughs a bit* Why do you think I'm kidding?

Me: I just don't know why. Like we're best friends and I don't even know right now. Can we please talk about something else.

Yeah, I'm pretty anti-sappy-ness and then he kissed me and I'm just there mentally freaking out and blammo! He stops kissing me and starts to leave.

Z: Sorry. I just had to do it once.

Me: Z WAIT DON'T ABANDON ME HERE. IT'S DARK AND THE RIVER MONSTERS THAT JEREMY WADE CATCHES WILL EAT ME.

Z: Christ Jazzy, I'm not gonna do that. I just- God damn it why can't- arghhhhhhhh.

Me: Arggggh? I'm a pirate.

Z: *laughs a bit again* I'm sorry still. I didn't mean to kiss you, I just wanted to kiss you or something. (Ik this made no sense but shhh). I saw a chance so I took it. Don't get a restraining order. Or isolate yourself from society.

So at this point I was crying because my tiny brain can't comprehend what's happening. Then he kissed me again and I kissed him back this time and we went home and now I'm here and I don't know what to do.

So basically my first kiss went to my best friend... I mean it's not like I didn't like it, but still, idk. And I just want to cry in a corner. But then again, he is kinda hot. On the other side GOD DAMN IT ME, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE AWKWARD BUT THAT'S HOW I'LL MAKE IT.

All in all, I'm a clueless hamburger right now.

And yes this happened.

And yes, I'm eating a granola bar.

And yes, I'm done with this chapter.

-Jazzy