"I feel like I'm overdressed."

Nikki wasn't even listening to me anymore as she and Jackie had a shouting match about whose turn it was to do the dishes. 

Miles and I had finished painting the wall two hours before. The pastel blue stars popped against the deep blue background. It didn't come out as well as the pattern on his shirt, but it was still nice. And different.

As soon as he left, I went through every item of clothing to find something to wear when I meet him at The Oak later. 

There were a lot of things that had changed since my mom and I moved. The biggest difference being that I was currently obsessing over whether or not a boy would like my outfit or think I was trying to hard.

I stood in the bathroom examining my outfit in the mirror as Nikki and I talked over video chat.

My outfit consisted of the re-designed black dress I wore to Victoria's party. When I tried to return the dress to Chelsea she insisted that I keep it. So I took Betsy and some scissors and worked my magic.

The dress looked entirely different after I removed the sleeves and turned it into a two piece, a thin line of my midriff peaking through. I paired it with an oversized, black cardigan to make the look more casual.

"The dress is cute, Lo." My cousin was back to focusing on me. "I still can't believe you womaned up and asked him out on a date."

The thought of going on a date with Miles was a happy one. Too happy. My stomach felt like it was twisting into knots. I was getting a head of myself.

"It's not a date," I said, more to myself than to Nikki. "We're just hanging out. As friends."

My stomach still wasn't convinced.

"Mhm, sure. Keep lying to yourself," she laughed. "I don't get why you're cock-blocking yourself anyway. Miles seems cool."

"Because dating him means I'll have to open up to him about stuff," I told her as I began to pin my hair back on one side with bobby pins, letting the rest of my curls to fall freely on the other. "Stuff I don't want open up about."

"The fact that you're even thinking about it without crying is proof that you're doing way better than you were a few months ago," she pointed out. "You need to give yourself more credit. I think you are emotionally ready move forward with your life. You just need to stop being a punk."

I took a break from doing my hair to glare at her through the phone. "I'm not a punk. But after the way Tasha and everyone acted after the accident, I just don't want a repeat."

"They just wanted someone to blame," Nikki assured me. "It wasn't your fault and I'm sure all your new friends, and Miles, will understand that."

Maybe Nikki was right. Maybe I was just being a punk and making up excuses.

The truth was, I was terrified of fully opening up to Miles. "What if he doesn't? What if he blames me like everyone else?"

Miles was a friend, but so was Tasha and look how that turned out.

"If he doesn't then he's a dumbass for passing up on my amazing cousin." My eyes rolled at how cheesy she sounded, but a smile snuck onto my face. "Honestly, Lo, there's nothing worse than living with regret."

+ + +

The Oak had a more romantic vibe than I remembered. Maybe it was the decor of dark woods and deep purples and reds. Maybe it was the soft jazz music that played overhead.

A more viable reason might've been the older couples that swayed together on the dance floor and the couples at the surrounding tables. This wasn't really the kind of place where friends hung out.

Glancing down at my phone for the time, I noted that Mom's band would be up soon. I also noted that Miles hadn't arrived yet. He'd said he was on his way almost twenty minutes ago.

"Counting down the seconds until I arrive?"

A blush crept up my neck at the sound of his voice and me being caught. He pulled out a chair and sat next to me. A fresh scent of a body wash that probably had zest in the title fills my senses as he took his seat. Despite his obvious shower there was still a speck of blue paint behind his ear.

"You missed a spot," I said, poking at it.

He giggled, taking my hand and moving it away from his neck. "That tickles."

A smile took over my face as I held myself back from full-on laughing. It was cute, him complaining about being ticklish.

He cleared his throat, making his voice deeper. "Let's pretend I didn't just say that."

A waiter came over to take our order. We got sodas and agreed to share a plate of nachos. After we placed our orders the emcee stepped up on stage to introduce the band.

I was feeling secondhand anxiety as Mom took her place behind the keyboard. The other women got into position with their instruments. Keiandra stepped in front of the microphone as she was on lead vocals. Mom started the song off with the piano, followed by Keiandra who began to sing and soulful melody about love. Soon the other women joined in with their instruments and backing vocals.

It was a slow song and the couples took the opportunity to hold their loved ones close on the dance floor.

"Do you want to dance?"

Turning to Miles, I see he's already standing from the chair. "You're joking, right?"

"C'mon," he coaxed, taking my hand and leading me towards the dance floor. "And don't say friends can't dance together because I saw you with your girls last night."

"That was different," I argued. My train of thought was momentarily derailed as I felt his hands circle around my waist, his fingers pressing against the sliver of exposed skin between my top and my skirt.

I was all too aware of how awkwardly my hands positioned, since they were meant to be on shoulders. Giving in, I placed my suddenly clammy hands onto his shoulders. Hopefully his grey sweater was thick enough that he didn't feel how sweaty my palms were becoming.

"How so?" He asked, his emerald eyes peering down at me.

"We weren't slow dancing," I pointed out.

Miles and I fell into rhythm as we slowly swayed back and forth.

"True," he agreed. "This friendship thing has too many restrictions."

Warmth flooded my cheeks at his implication. I turned my attention to the band, but that only made things worse because Mom was looking in our direction, a proud mama smile on her lips.

I could actually feel my no boys rule breaking. Snapping in two like a twig. My reasons for the rule were lost to me as my eyes met Miles's once more.

Was he aware of how much his casual flirting was effecting me?

"Why'd you run?" He asked.

"I thought we were sweeping that under the rug."

"I tried," he admitted, his lip curling up into a half smile. "But it's been keeping me up at night."

My heart skipped at the thought of him lying awake thinking about our almost kiss, just like I had.

"I have to know," he continued. "If this is one sided?"

His question was direct and straight to the point. It threw me off, mentally and physically as I accidentally stepped on his foot.

"Sorry," I muttered, just as applause erupted.

The song finished and the crowd cheered for more. Miles and I joined in with clapping. I took the brief pause to recollect my thoughts, which were currently being pulled into two different directions.

Did I move forward or allow my past to pull me back?

"You could've said you didn't feel the same way," Miles said once the applause died down. He didn't seem upset that I didn't answer his question. He was still his playful self. "You didn't have to resort to physical violence."

The band started up again. This time Keiandra sang something with a faster tempo. Mom was into the music, pounding away at the keys and adding background vocals. It was the perfect time to slip out.

Taking Miles by the hand, I led him outside where it was quieter. It was dark out, despite it only being six p.m. and there was a cold chill in the wind. Letting go of his hand, I pulled my cardigan tighter around me before turning to face him.

His brow creased as his eyes watched me. "Why'd you drag me out here?"

The words were right on the tip of my tongue, but my lips refused to part and let them out. Once I said them I couldn't take them back. Once I opened up and laid it all out that was it, there was no rewind button.

The thought of him rejecting me after learning about my past scared me. But the idea of him being okay with it and us being happy together was enough to force the words out.

"This is weird." 

Wrong words.

Miles let out a soft chuckle, his eyebrow quirking up. "What?"

"This is weird," I repeated, laughing at myself for being so awkward. "I haven't like anyone in a while and it's weird."

"You like me." His lips turned up into a smile that caused me forget all the excuses I made to keep myself from being with him.

"Yeah, I do." I nodded, my own smile fighting through to my face.

He took a calculated step towards me. "Does that mean you're done running?"

I nodded. He took another step, snaking his arms around my waist and pulling me close. Any walls I had up were immediately demolished the moment his lips met mine.