There was something about goodbyes.

This was what she thought as she stared at him through the window of the stark white spaceship. Fei Hong rested her forehead against the window of the shuttle, her eyes tracing the raindrops as they raced down the side of the glass. Out of habit, her fingertips pressed against the cool glass, scribbling a word on the window.

"Goodbye..."

She wrote the message with a drop of water. Not one that poured from the heavens above, but the one that trickled down her cheek. It was a message he wouldn't be able to see, standing so far away. She swallowed the lump in her throat and lifted her head with a sigh, using a hand to smudge the loopy letters scrawled on the glass. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes but she held them back, pressing her mouth into a thin line as she lifted her head to gaze at the boy standing on the barren hill.

Even from so far away, Fei Hong felt him staring back at her with a clear, unwavering gaze, unclouded by fever. He stood underneath raindrops, the rain falling like it meant to wash him away. The droplets hammered relentlessly at his frail figure, as if it didn't mean to stop until he became smudged like one of Monet's paintings.

The spaceship hummed underneath her feet as it prepared for departure. His gaze remained steadfast, and she stared at him, drinking in the details etched on his features. In the end, it was the ghost of a smile playing on his lips that finally got to her. To see him smile after the world had fallen apart...

It was only when his shoulders heaved with emotion, his luminous eyes brimming with tears did she finally understand.

The smile was for her sake.

She lowered her head, turning away even when her heart screamed at her to stop. She paused, her shoulders trembling, a hand pressed against her mouth to stifle her sobs before she threw the cloak over her head and walked away. Her footsteps pierced the heavy silence in the metal spaceship, sounding overly loud in her ears like the booming heartbeat of a condemned prisoner. The engineering bay's white doors loomed before her and the metal walkways rattled underneath her feet as her footsteps stalled.

Her hands trembled as they hovered over the handle.

I'm sorry.

She pushed the door open. There was a peculiar taste that lingered on her lips--a taste of salt and a kaleidoscope of memories that made her pause as the realization finally hit her. It hadn't felt real to her before, but there was a note of finality as she stood on the spaceship.

This would be their goodbye.

~

"Miss Fei Hong?"

The intercom crackled, jarring her back to reality. She glimpsed herself on the spaceship's exterior metal surface as she turned. With long, jagged black hair that fell to frame her pale face and bloodshot eyes, she looked nothing like herself. Nothing like who she had been, only a few blissful months ago.

She wiped the tears cascading down her face, hardening her voice so that it betrayed none of the tumultuous feelings that tore at her heart when she imagined leaving.

"Yes. I'm here."

But the words only came out as a faint whisper, soft and barely audible over the ship's consistent hum. Her hands knotted, she clenched her jaw before repeating her reply, forcing the words to tumble out of her lips, leaving them hanging in the silence. There was a short pause before the intercom sputtered out an answer.

"The ship will be departing in five minutes. Can you please enter your bio-pod? You are travelling alone on this ship, along with the cargo. If you find any problems in the middle of the flight--such as a biopod failure--contact Erisua immediately. "

Biopod failure? Fei Hong felt a stab of fear at those words. But she pushed it down, firmly reminding herself of the reason she was going. She had to go to Erisua. Her grandmother needed her. And there was nothing left for her on Earth. Not anymore.

"I understand," she forced out loud.

"As you know, the trip will last approximately twenty years. However, you will experience the journey through cryo-stasis, during which you will not age. Have you brought proper identification and legal documents?"

Twenty years...

Her heart stilled, though she had already known the sacrifices when she signed her name on the dotted line. A whole lifetime would pass by her, and she would not be able to see it. She would awake to a new world, a world that would have grown without. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a breath.

"Yes."

"And you understand that this is a cargo ship? You were lucky we had one bio-pod in storage, so of course, the fuel and the costs..."

At this, there was an awkward pause before she understood the implications behind the words. She dipped her head, forcing her knotted hands to uncurl. She left them, palms open, at her sides.

"I understand. I'll...I'll transfer extra to your account.."

"Excellent. Thank you. Whenever you're ready, Miss Fei Hong."

It would be the final time she saw the blue-green planet that had once held her fondest memories. The last time she would see him. For when she woke up, he would be as good as gone, separated by the interminable silence of space.

Her shoulders trembling, she closed her eyes and remembered Earth; with the once dazzling forests and silent mornings that held all of her youth and childhood. She remembered running through the dew-covered grass, climbing the trees to search for the branches that drooped with fruit and tilting her head back to look at the dizzyingly blue skies above. For decades to come, she knew she would remember the beautiful sycamore trees with their falling seeds, and oak trees so gently full of life, and the endless blue...

"I'm ready," she whispered. She was gripped with the sudden fear of evanescence, and she clutched the memories of him tightly to her chest. It was like trying to hold water with cupped palms. He was fading, and she shivered as she tried to remember his voice. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she fell to her knees.

"Make sure to connect your bio-pod securely. Have a good flight." And then, all was silent.

It was only when she heard the engine thrusters rumble, roaring in her ears did she finally stumble onto her feet. Her heart hammering, she slid into the bio-pod. She fumbled with the wires inside as she forced herself to focus. Soon, the steady hum of the engines grew louder, and she could feel the spaceship hovering a few feet off the ground.

Goodbye, she thought as she gazed down at the ground that was rapidly fading, soon only becoming a smudge in the distance. She wondered if he was still there; if he was scanning the sky as desperately as she was searching the ground.

Perhaps...Perhaps it would be better not to know.

And with that, she attached the last wire to her wrist and felt the world dim just as the ship pierced into the inky expanse of space.