With a condition like ours, you get used to moving from town to town. How long we can stay depends on the size of the community. In a big city, we can stay hidden for a couple of years. Sometimes....it only takes a couple of days before we're hunted like rabid animals again.

This time, it was the latter.

Will drove down on the sun-soaked road. The air brushed against the dark skin of my arm as it hung out the window.

Dark bags hung under Will's eyes as he squinted at the road. The color fading into his irises. He drove all night for us and was using the wheel to keep him propped up. The high noon sunlight showed all the scars on his face, both faded and new.

His bottom lip was missing a patch of skin. Part of his right ear was gone. Jagged claw marks covered his neck as if it was a scarf.

I was sitting in the passenger seat watching the signs and scenery that flew by us. Glancing down on my arms, the cuts and bruises were pretty much healed. What were once giant gashes and blue marks were small paper cuts and light brown circles.

I never got used to how fast we can heal. I keep expecting to see my arms to be nothing but bloody stumps.

I ran my hand over my arm gently, rubbing the muscles, pressing down on the tendons, making sure everything worked properly.

It was a rough night. But compared to most other nights, it went well as it could.

I looked over at the back seats to check on the others.

Adam was hugging his knees, his face aimed at the floor. Red hair was poking out between clamped fingers. Last night-events and self-judgment crushed him.

The first change never goes the way you want. There are always things that'll go wrong or pop up during it. The best thing we can do is minimize the damage as it happens.

I wrenched my head behind me to see Gwen, a flat expression stamped on her face. Nicks and bruises covered her face from last night, along with a split lip. Her small nose was bent to right when Adam swiped at her when he shifted. Her brown hair was forced into a messy bun, small strands of frizzled flat hair poking out.

Even though we heal fast, some things don't go away. Silver and attacks from one of us.

I should've had Gwen sit in the front with me and have Will sit with Adam. None of his scars were made by Adam. So there wouldn't be a constant reminder. Shit.

I caught Gwen's eye and nodded over to Adam. Talk. To. Him.

The flat smile on Gwen's face grew bigger as she traded a shrug. I've tried.

I jabbed a finger at a stray dark curl springing out of my head. Then lowering my finger to my neck. Putting your hair down might help.

Gwen lightly slapped the side of her head once that thought finally came to her. She pulled off the ponytail letting her hair blanket over her neck. The flat smile evolved into a sheepish smile giving me a okay sign.

On her neck were dark purple bruises in the shape of Adam's hands. He nearly choked the life out of her when he shifted.

Lord, I hope I wasn't that bad when I first started.

"How you doing Adam?"Gwen asked.

"Not great." Adam croaked back.

"Cool."

Gwen's face winced from her reply. She shot her face back at me for help.

That is a new record for this group. Oh god.

I coughed down a laugh. Will looked over at me with a small amused smile on his face. I elbowed Wito focus back on driving. Adam was sinking lower, pulling his knees into his chest. Any lower and his chest would absorb them.

I waved my hand in a rolling motion keeping up an assured smile. Keep trying!

Gwen sighed and looked back at Adam. "You know my first time sucked too."

Adam lifted his head up a little. Not enough to see his face but enough so that his voice wasn't muffled. "Really?"

"Yeah." Gwen nodded, glancing back at me for support.

Just keep going, kiddo.

"My first time involved getting high before shifting."

Well then. That finally got Adam to raise his head fully, sharing the massive confusion that was sprawled over our faces. His blue eyes were still puffy and red from last night. There were still grass stains and scratches all over his round face.

"Why?"

"My old pack said it would heighten my senses when I changed."

Adam's lips twitched into a smile. "Did it?"

Gwen looked down trying to hide shades of red coming over her cheeks. "Ever seen a dog high on weed?"

Adam let out a laugh, his first one since last night. The sound washed over the heaviness in the car. Allowing all of us to smile.

Will looked over at me, his smiled etched in some worry. I waved back at him with assurance.

Adam will find out about how Gwen's first shift actually went another day. Right now we gotta heal before talking about it.

"Thanks." Adam sighed.

His lips held soft a smile. His eyes still glazed in defeat. It was a start at least.

Gwen gave me a thumbs up and leaned back in her seat. She returned her gaze on the passing scenery through the windows. We all sat in silence again as we drove down the road. I felt a little better now that Adam was finally talking again. Hopefully, he'll be better when we get to the safe house.

Another half-hour dragged by until we finally made it. We drove into a small looking rural town. Most of the buildings were made up of worn-out bricks updated with yearly maintenance. Holding the skeletal remains of a style that was once alive a hundred years ago. Most of the roads were compiled of dirt and signs. Little markers on the road were vaguely placed near the buildings on where to park.

A couple of people walking on the sidewalks noticed our car and waved politely at us. Will and I waved back while Adam silently took in the new environment. Gwen was looking like she was reaching her limit being in the car. She fidgeted around her seat, unbuckling and buckling her seat belt.

I never learned the name of the town. From all the times I've been there I could never find out its name. I asked Brew what was it called but he would always brush it away by bringing up bigger stuff. Anytime I've asked the town residents what it was called, they would give me the same answer.

"Call it whatever you like."

So I've been calling it home. And it fits. All of us had to abandon our original homes when we were bitten. Too afraid of what will happen to our families or needing shelter. That's what the town became for us. A home that wasn't afraid of us. A home that could handle things when we couldn't control ourselves. A safe place to recover and patch ourselves with our broken pieces. Home.

Will parked in front of a house just outside of town. It was close enough to see but far enough to not make out what was happening. It was an old and ragged house, with cement covered in dents and deep scratches. A hasty paint job and botched tilling barely made a difference.

Brew was standing on the porch with a metal makeup case in hand. His face was a wreck, it was as if he washed his face with rocks and barbed wire. Two dark circles sank his hazel eyes. An unkempt bushy red beard hid most of his scars. He looked way too old to be in his twenties.

I dreaded looking at his hair. I didn't want to, but it was unavoidable.

Brew's hair was chopped up and uneven. Some strands of short black hair laying on top of his wide brow while long ends poked out into unique cowlicks.

He cut his hair. Again.

I was only gone for a  month and he went ahead. We had conversations about this, we went over this before we left. I even left thousands of sticky notes all over the place to remind him not to do it! Yet he does it anyway!

Alright, next time I am hiding all of the scissors and having a stylist come visit him when I leave again.

I rubbed my eyes in to push back the boiling annoyance that was leaking out. Will gently patted my head in assurance, forcing a positive smile. The two of us finally let out a laugh while Gwen peeked over our chair to see.

"What did he do to his hair?" Gwen asked.

Oh my god, it was worse than last time. He has lop-sided bangs.

I groaned. "He cut it."

Adam even popped over Will seat. "But why?"

I laughed getting out of the car. " 'Cause he can."

I still don't know the answer. I've been living with him for five years already and I've never figured it out. Even when his hair is short he'll try to cut chunks of it. I had to wrestle him to the ground multiple times to stop him. I'd always have to bite his arm so he'd drop the scissors, and yet Brew never says a word about it. He just gets up and walks away, continuing what he was doing before, jotting down notes or working in his lab. I'll ask him why he does it, but he'll turn the conversation around to something else before I could get it back on track.

My legs throbbed from being cramped inside the car for hours. The fresh air splashed against my lungs. Familiar scents filled my nose. The only other thing that felt familiar. This, and the pack. The smell of home always made felt safe. I just hope it does for Adam.

Gwen scrambled out of the car, cheering as she sprinted out.

Her sprint went towards the back of the house, where a whole forest was laid out. She can change there in peace during the night. Maybe Adam can too when he's ready.

Will got out and showed his half-smile to the house and the greenhouse built next to it. Adam slowly followed, forcing on something that looked like a cheerful smile.

I promise you it looks better on the inside. I made sure of that.

Brew waved at me as he trotted over, swinging the case he had in a quick rhythm.

This should be good. Hopefully. Painless. Please. We need a break.

Brew grunted his voice gruff, and hoarse "Hey."

I waved back holding up a smile."Hey."

"So how'd it did go?"

Adam went rigid hearing those words. He quickly joined Will at the back of the car and grabbed a bag. Gwen stopped jogging and looked over at me. I showed my own flat expression towards her, Gwen nodded and grabbed her bag.

We just got him to smile. Thanks, Brew.

"We're here so that tells you," I said calmly with a thick breath.

Read the room, Brew.

Brew glanced over at Adam and back at me. His hazel eyes were starting to harden. His eyes settling on my arms gazing at the cut and bruises.

My hands clenched. The parental gaze burning my skin.

"That's not really an answer." Brew reminded.

His voice remained still. Not even harsh as if he was talking about the weather, but it still felt stern and hard against my ears.

The muscles in my arms twitched against the events of last night, replaying the actions from leftover impulses and orders. The shouting and snarls rang in my ear. I took in a deep breath and let it out. The hot air flooding some of last night's memories. All that was left were murmurs and faint buzzing in my left arm.

My face fell into a frown, my cheeks burning with relief. That smile has been on my face since last night. Straining itself to support everyone, while blood dripped behind it.

"It could've been worse." I sighed. "But we did okay in keeping it safe for him."

"Any humans get bit?"

A stray shout rang in my ears. Will and I chasing after Adam bulldozing through trees and rocks in a blur of fang and fur. Gwen shifting into her own form trying to stop him. Getting bitten and mauled as she wrestled against Adam. The sound of bark and bones breaking as we all shouted at once. Words clashing against each other unable to be clear. There was blood on my arms and on the ground. Blood on Adam's fur and teeth as he snarled at me. Whimpering and squealing as try to get out of my grip around his neck.

The event still played behind my eyes. Still clear. Still haunting. Replaying over and over the moment it has the chance. The only thing that was still fresh was the guilt rotting in my stomach.

"No. He heard someone shouting to some guy and he chased after it. The human got away before Adam could bite them."

The look in that human's eye. That look of fear and disgust. It was the same. I've seen that look before. And it still stings and burns my skin.

Brew's gaze shifted back to Adam. "Hey, kid."

Adam poked his head out from the back of the car, his nervous smile wavered over to me and back to Brew. I nodded over stitching my smile back. He looked like he was going to break as Brew kept his eyes on him. The smell on him would be overwhelming for a new one like Adam.

The mixture of strong floral pollen and sweat was enough to burn my nose when I first started. Now, I've learned to breathe through my mouth and sniff as little as possible around him in a ten-mile radius.

"How the first change go for you?" Brew asked.

Adam kept his eyes to the ground. "It hurt. Alot."

"Yeah, first time is always painful. If you do some stretches before you change it helps out a lot. It keeps the joints and muscles from getting locked up and stiff when changing. After a couple of shifts, it'll get less painful. It gets easier changing over time."

"You sure about that?" Adam asked bluntly, his eyes moving up filled with fear and pain.

It was the same look we all had when we started off. Fear of what was going to happen to us. Are we gonna live the next day with hunters tracking us every second? Are we gonna bite someone the next time we change? Is it gonna be this full of soul-draining pain for the rest of our lives?

I wanted to say I've been there too. Even Will and Gwen have. That it does get easier. That there are ways to help with it. But I couldn't say anything to Adam.

The stitching in my lips kept me from talking. One slight movement would undo it and the smile would fall. Then they'd see what I really was. Scared and drained, like them.

I have to look strong for them. It's what a pack leader does. To help them, I have to look strong so they can be supported. Even with this glass smile holding them up.

"There's good days, then there are bad days." Brew sighed, letting his voice get low. " Good days come along and help handle the bad changes. Bad days beats the shit out of you but the change helps shed it off so you can be ready for the next one. Sometimes it's hard to keep control of yourself even when you've been one for years. Losing yourself under those instincts and the moonlight to get away from yourself. But as the day goes on, you learn to keep more of the good stuff that happens to you. And putting away the shit that keeps making things horrible for a while. It makes things more manageable the more you practice it."

Adam nodded tight-lipped. "Okay."

Wrong move again. Now you made it worse.

Brew's face wrinkled, snorting out a huff. He gave Adam a soft poke bringing his gaze back up.

"First shifts never go to plan. Your instincts and senses are fresh and raw and they get overwhelmed. They get fried. Leaving you to act like a rabid dog. But your instincts and senses grow thicker the more you change and take care of yourself. Physically and mentally. No one's first shift goes smoothly. So give yourself a break, alright?"

Adam's face softened. He nodded.

"Hey, come on!" Gwen said as she walked next to Adam with her bags. "I'll show you your room."

"Right. Thanks."

Brew waved as Adam and Gwen headed over to the house. His head held higher as Gwen led a conversation for them.

Brew was able to do better than the three of us were able to last night.

"That goes for you too," Brew said gently, the slight stern his voice piercing my skin. "Just because you're pack leader doesn't mean you put yourself down cause what happens. Some things are out of our control. Even as pack leaders. If you crack from your own judgment you won't be able to help them when they need it. So take it easy on yourself."

The sewn smile peeled off from the stitching and plopped to the ground. I breathed out some of the pressure that was lodged into my throat.

"Thanks," I whispered, wiping my eyes away.

"No prob. So," Brew said, handed me the metal case that was still in his hand. "Here's the stuff for the kid. There should be enough for him for the first month to get used to it. If he can't keep it down then come get me and he'll have to get it by shots."

"Kay. So are we gonna talk about your hair?"

Brew's smile wiped away as headed towards town.

"Nope. I'm gonna go to the floral shop, so don't go after me."

"You're gonna need a haircut, Brew!"

"No, I don't!"

I let out a laugh, watching him walk by Will, giving a mutual nod to each other. How the hell has he survived for so long looking like that?

Will stopped by me. His arms full of his bag and supplies. "You okay, Bailey?"

His first words since last night.

I nodded back giving my own small smile.

"Yeah. I'm better." I showed off the freshly given case. "I'm about to give Adam some of the stuff. So you want to come inside or wait outside until he finishes it?"

Will's smile shrank, his nose crinkled at the sight of the metal case. Will pointed next to the porch where there were a couple of empty chairs. "I can wait."

I nodded and turned to the house. The clogged feeling in my throat went away as I kept the small smile. This will be a good start for all of us. To regroup and recover. I hope.