Hi,

My name is Leonie Brisecoeur, and this is the story of the first love. I am currently 18 years old, but to fully understand my story we need to go back. 18 years back, to when I was born.

I was born in a small town in the north of France, where my parents lived and my grandparents used to live. It's generally nice, but I've always wanted to move away; I just don't like this whole small village thing. I don't love big cities, but I like to get a new view of things and live a different life from time to time.

I lived there until just a couple of weeks ago. I moved to a bigger city because of my job. It's not far away, so I visit my parents every weekend, and most of my friends are still in my hometown. It's still my comfort place.

I already knew the person I shared my first love story with back then. We shared the same friend group and we used to do all kinds of things together. His mom would organize costume parties for us, and we would go to this huge store that had an incredible playground and have breakfast there. Kind of like Ikea, now that I think of it.

At some point, I lost contact with Adrian. He moved away, and I remember that we were all sad. Then life went on; I sometimes heard that he was around during the holidays, but most times I was away during that time.

We didn't see each other for like a decade. I was shown some pictures of his baptism, but other than that I didn't hear from him. I mean, obviously, we didn't have phones when we last met.

And then my grandfather killed himself. My grandmother found him dead in the bathtub. The fact that he didn't die of natural causes but because he decided he didn't want to live anymore was worse than anything. I was asking what went wrong that he was so unhappy that he couldn't live anymore, that he saw that as his best option. To be clear, I never have and never will think of killing myself, but I now understand how someone can go down that spiral and think of doing such a thing.

But I believe there is always a way out. I know there is. During my life, I found out that no matter how bad it all seems, it can get better. I once had a classmate that wanted to kill himself. He was lucky, and the train didn't show up. Now he is happy, he is grateful that he was given another chance. He now says, "We are the lucky ones, we are the ones that got the chance to experience this beautiful world. The things we get to see and we can experience are incredible. If we think about it, how likely is it that we are alive? So we are lucky to be alive." I think that is beautiful, and even when my life went downhill for multiple years and only got worse and worse, I was reminded that I am a lucky one; I get to experience this world and see the beauty.

I was lucky to receive some help on my way. Because while I was at my lowest, someone found me again. Adrian came back, like a damn hero, my god. He was just there at his grandparent's 50th anniversary and he helped me back up.

And that's how the story starts.

How our story starts.

Important Author's Note:

!IF ANYONE FEELS THAT THIS CHAPTER IS INSENSITIVE PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

This chapter was difficult because it involves a very sensitive topic. I know that there are many with mental struggles, and I hope this chapter is having a somewhat positive impact on everyone going through a hard time.

No matter who is reading this, you got this. What I am writing here is not fake, this is a real story. And the classmate says that he is so incredibly lucky to be alive and is so happy right now.

This is not a fairytale that is made up or unrealistic.