Some of you might be wondering what Leonie and I were even texting about. So let me tell you.
Of course we were talking a lot about recent events, school and so forth the usual stuff.
But we also talked about her family and her a lot. I wanted to understand her situation better and how her heart is feeling.
Turns out since her grandfather killed himself the situation with her parents was rather tense.
None of them had much peace during that time. Life is always stressful, I think everyone knows that. Now imagine how stressful it gets when you have a hard time sleeping because your grandfather's/father's death haunts you in your dreams. The constant exhaustion of each and everyone of them had an impact on their mental stability. Anything could push them over the edge. Especially because the death wasn't natural and emotions could shift between grief and anger.
I don't know what that feels like but she told me, that sometimes she wonders how he could do that to her and her family.
I know her parents and they are so nice, I really really like them. So anyways she told me that they have a lot of arguments at the time.
So I started thinking to myself. I thought that if she always has arguments with her parents someone has to be the annoying part. Either she annoys her parents or her parents annoy her terribly. Of course this could always work both ways, meaning that they annoy each other but every fight starts with an aggressor.
Because I knew her parents and how nice they were I wondered if maybe Leonie was the one always picking fights which would make a relationship with her rather annoying.

For a boy or a man there is nothing greater than a women being their place of peace.  There are so many things to worry about the last thing men need is a women that makes things gives you more things to worry about. So her possibly creating problems with her parents was something I needed to look out for.

So I did, turns out sometimes she was having a bad day so she was mad at her parents and sometimes it was the opposite.
I was relieved, anyone can have a bad day and it's okay to sometimes go on a rant about it especially in difficult times like she and her family were experiencing.

Other times we talked about how the death of her grandfather is influencing her everyday life.
She told me that it was difficult to sleep. She would have nightmares and be afraid to go to sleep again. It was also why she was so happy that we would be on the phone the whole night.
(Ah yes I didn't tell you yet that calling each other started to become a habit and we did it every night. We talked until we fell asleep every night.)
I didn't even think about that, the nightmares must be terrible, I'm sure I wouldn't like going to sleep as well. My fever dreams are terrible enough but having those kind of dreams must be insane. She never told me what she saw but sometimes I would wake up at night and see her crying in bed because of a dream she had.
It was horrifying for me to see. I remember whenever I had a bad dream I was glad to wake up but she had to cry. Maybe sometimes her dreams were actually good but when she woke up, the cruel reality caught up to her.
Either way it was a terrible experience for her.

Of course she was sleep deprived everyday which made everything difficult for her.
I was so amazed how she managed to write extremely good grades in every subject and still keep up with everything else that was going on.
It was truly amazing to see and I was so incredibly proud of her.
I'm sure I told her that plenty of times but maybe I could have told her that more often.

It must have been a very hard time for her and I'm gad that I was able to make it a little better for her.