(Patrick's POV)

I had a date with Pete last night.

I fucked Brendon two nights ago.

I don't feel bad at all.

It shouldn't be that easy to pretend everything is okay with Pete. It shouldn't be that easy to brush off what happened with Brendon. It wasn't some innocent brunch with an ex. I fucked my best friend on the couch right outside that door. Hard, rough, unprotected sex while my boyfriend -who I love- was calling my phone. And then I called him back and lied without hesitation. I let him come over the next day and take me out. I should at least feel bad. But I didn't.

That couldn't be a good thing. This whole situation was feeling like a big ass moment of de ja vu. We were taking our problems from last time and multiplying them by ten. At least I was. I was transforming back into the old Patrick. The Patrick who was fucking his boyfriend and his wife and his best friend. I had no idea if Pete was still fucking Ryan. I had no idea if I'd end up fucking Brendon again. I had no idea where the hell my conscious was hiding in all of this. If I even still had one.

No, I had to have a conscious. Because I felt like shit after I fucked Brendon in my kitchen. After Ryan walked in on us and Pete wouldn't speak to me.

That was the difference!

No one knew about the couch. I didn't have to feel bad if I didn't get caught with my hand in the cookie car. My crime last time wasn't cheating on my boyfriend. It was not being sneaky enough to get away with it. I wasn't going to tell anyone. Brendon wasn't going to tell anyone. We could have all the cookies we wanted. Not to say I wanted anymore.

I was a terrible human being.

Two solid knocks at my door and then Brendon was poking his head in. "Hey there, sexy."

"Brendon." I pretended to be invested in the paperwork in front of me.

"Elisa is here." His voice dipped. "I don't think she's leaving."

"You can let her in."

His eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

"Is my 12 here yet?"

"No."

"Let her in."

The door closed without another word. This time it opened to Eliza. She waltzed in like she owned the place. Clad in a soft yellow dress that draped openly around the hardness of her stomach. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail. What was the word used for beautiful pregnant women? Ah, glowing.

"Hello." She started in a sing-song voice. "I hope I'm not intruding."

"No. I wasn't doing anything other than thinking."

"Too much of that can drive you insane."

"Don't I know it." I smiled.

She giggled. "So what's on your mind?"

"Nothing important."

"Hard to believe with how tightly you're holding that pen." Her head nudged towards my hand. I dropped the pen. "Now what's wrong?"

Fine. "I'm a bad person."

"You are not!"

"How can you stand there and disagree with me? I cheated on you and then divorced you while you were pregnant. All within the first few months of our marriage."

Her shoulders dropped. "Everyone makes mistakes."

"And they should be held accountable for them." I argued.

Eliza sighed. My eyes followed her as she walked across the room. Disappearing to the space behind my chair. I was about to spin around and see what she was doing.  But her fingers digging into the knots of my shoulders stopped me.

"I did hold you accountable." Her voice was as comforting as her hands massaging my shoulders. "But I'm not angry anymore. It's hard to hate someone when there's a mini them growing inside of you."

Then tension began seeping from my skin. "You're amazing."

"I know."

"I don't deserve you." This time I did spin in the chair. Her arms dropped to her side. I pulled her into my lap easily. She always fit against me so perfectly. I was surprised when she let it happen. When she relaxed into my hold. "Not even as a friend."

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing you don't have me."

But I could if I wanted to. A messed up part of my brain supplied. And then an idea occurred to me. What better way to test if I'm reverting back to my old ways than to see if adding Elisa into this shit show of a relationship makes me feel guilty? Time to test how far I can go before my conscious rears its head  screams for me to stop.

"I do love you though, Elisa." The lie slipped past my lips. "Just because I started loving Pete, doesn't mean I stopped loving you."

"I know that."

Still nothing.

Okay.

"Can I kiss you?"

"W-What about Pete?"

What about mind your fucking business?

"I'm not asking to kiss Pete."

I let my hand slide to the back of her neck. Pausing to give her the opportunity to pull away it she wanted to. I knew she wouldn't want to. My eyes closed against the feeling of her lips on mine. And

Nothing. Still nothing.

Okay.

My free hand rested on her knee. Slowing slipping under her dress. Sliding up her thigh. When was the last time I was able to run against such smooth, soft skin? Elisa's hands tugged on the ends of my hair and I groaned onto her lips.

Suddenly she was pulling away. Rising from her place on my lap. Her balance shifted but she steadied herself by grabbing the edge of the desk. Her other hand rested on the curve of her belly.

"I can't do this."

"What's wrong?"

"I-I can't be to you and Pete what he was to you and I."

"It's not like that."

"It is!" She nodded. "I know how it feels to be cheated on. I can't do that to someone else." Her other hand left the desk to hold her stomach. "Even if they did it to me."

Nothing.

Damn.

Okay.

"Are you okay? Why are you holding your stomach like that?"

"I'm fine. The baby is just being really active right now."

Oh.

"Can I feel it?"

Her answering smile was one I didn't deserve. "Of course."

Before I could move, she pulled my hand to the underside of her stomach. Pushing in with the slightest amount of pressure. Seconds later I felt a responsive push to my palm. My heart skipped a beat. And then there was another push. And another.

"Holy shit." I was embarrassed by the break in my voice. "Does that hurt?"

"It's feels weird but it doesn't hurt." Her lips turned up at my excitement. "It's just excited to finally get to know its daddy."

"Patrick," Brendon didn't knock before sticking his head in the door this time. My hands dropped into my lap. "Your 12:00 is here."

"I'll go." Elisa turned to walk out of the room. "See you later, Patrick."

She and Brendon shared a familiar, kind look as she brushed past him. He waited a minute before wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"What was that about?"

"Just old friends catching up."

"You- You look good together."

"Send in my 12:00."