(Patrick's POV)

Something was wrong with me. Not in the physical sense. I was perfectly healthy. My brain was the problem. I couldn't concentrate on anything. My attention span was fickle beyond belief. My mind clouded with thoughts of Pete. Thoughts of Pete's dick, to be precise. I mean, the rest of the man's body was nice. He was nice. He was great. Of course he was. I didn't just go falling in love with anybody. Pete was a special man inside and out. But it was his outside that invaded my memory. His outside parts being inside of me actually.

That quicky tonight was- was fucking spectacular. Pete and I were sexually compatible. I'd figured out that much in college. And then when we met up afterwards, things were just as riveting. He'd never lacked in that department. But tonight ... tonight was on a whole new level. He touched me like he meant it. Like it was the last time he was going to touch me and he wanted me to remember it. I never came that quickly before while bottoming. He branded me with his sex and now I couldn't focus on anything else.  My body didn't even feel like my body anymore. It was Pete's now. It's always been Pete's.

Even as we crowded the dance floor of the club we partied at for Jon's birthday, I was thinking about it. My drink was in my hand. Girls and boys I didn't know danced around me. But it wasn't enough to engulf my attention. Not even a little of it. My eyes scanned the dark room for Pete. If we were quiet and quick like before, we could do it in the bathroom before anyone noticed we were missing. My search for my boyfriend proved futile. But I did spot Ryan in the crowd. Moving his body to the music in a way that was annoyingly enticing. Of course he was a good dancer. All whores were.

Our relationship- friendship- acquaintanceship was a weird one. Of course we hated each other since college. For reasons that were obvious if you read the first book. But when Pete 'died', things shifted. He was nicer. We spoke more. He constantly checked up on me. He went to my court dates and made sure I wasn't fucking up. It was like he felt guilt for trying to take Pete away only to have me lose him completely. But then Pete wasn't dead. He came back and Ryan was his regular asshole-ish, condescending, infuriating self. And the whole thing with me fucking his boyfriend happened and, yeah. Things weren't great.

"Have you seen Pete?" I asked him.

He looked taken back to have me speak to him. But he played it off with a shrug. "I think I saw him head to the bathroom."

I nodded. Scurrying away from him to head to the bathroom. The restroom was surprisingly empty and clean. Pete was clearly not in there. I doubt Ryan actually saw him. He just wanted to send me on a wild goose chase. Jokes on him, I realized I had to pee when I walked in. I stepped into one of the three stalls. Pushing the bolt on the door and releasing the five drinks I had that night. I was zipping up my pants when someone burst though the door.

They sounded like they are in distress. Instead of getting out to help like a normal person, I stood there. Squinting though the crack in the door to see who if was. At first it was impossible to see anything but colors as they paced. By luck they stood still in front of the door long enough for me to get a good view of Tyler. Tyler? What the hell was his problem?

I was about to step out and blatantly ignore his need for some kind of help, until I heard sniffling. He was crying. Why the hell was he crying? Now I wanted nothing more than to stay in my stall until he left. I wasn't too good with tears. Not even my own.

"Okay, were alone." That wasn't Tyler. That was a voice I knew all too well. I adjusted my potion to see closer to the door. My eyes confirmed that the voice belonged to my best friend. "Tell me why you're upset?"

"Pete." He mumbled. Because of course it was him. "He's ignoring me."

"He's just spending time with his friends. He hasn't seen them in a while, you know."

"Not just tonight. He's been distant for a while now."

"I'm sure you're over thinking this." Brendon sighed. "You're one of his best friends. Why would he be ignoring you?"

"It's because he feels weird about me since we had sex."

He admitted simply. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It took all my self restraint to hold myself still. To not open this door and kick his ass.

"What?!" Brendon gasped. And thank God this was news to him too.

Tyler seemed to realize his mistake. His voice lowered. "Please don't say anything to him."

"I won't." He assured him. "But oh my god, Tyler. Why would you have sex with him?"

"I-I don't know. I just wanted to know what it felt like-"

"To have sex with Pete?"

"To have sex... in general."

Wait a-

"You gave him your virginity? Fuck!"

"I know."

"I don't know how to nicely tell a friend that they loss their virginity to a total shit head."

"You don't have to tell me."

"Tyler-"

"Don't tell Patrick."

My blood boiled at the sound of my name on his lips.

"No, no. Of course not." He sighed sadly. "Let's go get you a drink."

It took a full minute before I was functioning enough to leave the stall. The wheels in my head spinning a mile a minute. So Pete cheated on me again. There was tight hypocrisy in my anger. I wasn't too self absorbed to see that. The difference was that I cheated with Brendon twice. He brought a whole new person into our fucked up mix. And he didn't tell me. He should have told me. He shouldn't have done it. Why would he do that? To me? To that poor fuck Tyler?

What good was standing here asking these questions to myself doing? I needed to find Pete and let him know what I knew. Watch him blanch as he fumbled for a lie. And maybe we'd fight off our frustrations. Like Ryan and Brendon. Or maybe we wouldn't talk at all. Maybe I'd just go up to him and knee him in his uncontrolled dick. Yeah, that sounded like a plan.

Adrenaline fresh in my system, I reached for the door. Jumping in shock when it swung open without my force. Ryan slipped into the bathroom. Glaring down at me for being in his way.

"Was Pete not in here?"

"No." He knew he wasn't.

"Oh. I don't know where he is then." He  brushed past me to the sinks.

"Probably off fucking the bartender." I heard myself mutter. "He fucks everybody else."

"What?" He circled around.

"Nothing."

"Was that a shot at me?"

"No."

He stared at me. Deciding whether or not to believe me. In the end he lifted his shoulders and went back to washing his hands. "Good." He said to the running water. "Because we haven't fucked since the time you know about. And you fucked my boyfriend after that so..."

I rolled my eyes as he trailed off. Ryan was such an asshole. Did he really think they canceled each other out? Then he'd be disappointed to know I was in the lead. Having had sex with Brendon twice.

I can't believe I was trying to make myself feel guilty about that while Pete was fucking his fake doctor. Two people. He'd really cheated on me with two people since he came back. And one of those people was my best friend's boyfriend. Was Brendon even my best friend? What kind of best friend would be all buddy-buddy with Pete's fuck toy? What kind of best friend would hold off the information that my boyfriend cheated on me again?

A pretty shitty one.

An un-loyal one.

He'd hold a secret from me -his best friend of years. And keep a secret for Tyler- a guy he hasn't even known for long? Fuck him.

Fuck him and fuck Pete. I wished there was a way I could get back at them. Show them how wrong it was for them both to be up Tyler's ass. Figuratively and literally. And then I realized, there was.

Without giving myself time to rationalize my decision, I rushed Ryan. Spinning him around and rising to my tiptoes to push my lips on his.  He made a startled sound against my mouth but otherwise didn't respond to my advance. He jerked away from my touch. And, with what looked like no effort, he slammed me against the door. Not letting go of my upper arms once my back was against the solid surface.

"Have you lost your goddamn mind?" His hiss was menacing. "Do you know what could happen from you doing something like that? Huh?" He didn't give me time to answer before he finished. "A double homicide. Starring us as the victims."

"Okay. Okay." I held my hands up slightly. "I'm sorry."

"That was stupid." He let me go. I flexed my sore shoulders. "Why would you do that? Now I have to tell him." He was talking to himself now. "He's going to punch me in the mouth again."

"Don't tell him." Wasn't that obvious?

"I'm not going to lie to him."

"It's not lying unless he asks."

Ryan fixed me with a look that said 'run that bullshit up the flagpole and see who salutes.' Yes, it was manipulative. But it wasn't technically lying.

"Why would you even?"

"I was pissed, okay?" I snapped. "Did you know he fucked Tyler?" Ryan's glance at the floor was all the answer I needed. "So I'm the only one who didn't know?"

"You've both made mistakes."

"How'd you find out?" I demanded.

"I'd rather not say." Maybe he walked in on them. "So that's why you kissed me? To get back at Pete? Did you think of how your best friend and my boyfriend would feel about that?"

"Yes." That was half of the reason why I did it. What kind of stupid question was that? "But I just saw him in here with Tyler and I-"

"Stop." Ryan closed his eyes against my words. "If that story ends how I think it does, don't finish it."

And oh. Oh! He thought I was going to say I walked in on them in the bathroom. He assumed that I didn't care because Brendon was fucking Tyler. I should tell him the truth. Finish the story honestly. I should but I wouldn't. If I was upset, Ryan deserved to be upset. I didn't want to suffer alone. So I snapped my lips shut. Ryan groaned, frustrated by my silence.

"That damn man can't keep his dick in his pants, can he?" Clearly rhetorical. He looked down at me. A bored, considering expression. "Fuck it. I'm drunk enough."

He lunged his head down to mine. Kissing with a force I didn't picture him capable of. Not that I pictured him at all. While his tongue was filling my mouth with the taste of some fruity drink, our fingers intertwined. He guided my hand towards his hands. Pressing down against his impressive bulge.

I got the picture right away. My frantic fingers made a job of undoing his jeans. Sliding them down just enough to release him. He growled at the contact. His breath hot against my face. I pushed all decency aside to jerk him furiously between us. Repeating the words I muttered to Pete hours ago.

"Don't come on my jeans."