A tune began to play from a song unknown to me, played by the band that hired the Ice Bar on weekends. And then his beautiful voice joined in. Ruth came out on the red stage dressed in white and very elegant, with the flower she had put on her head. The lights changed to white, and all around it was dark.

Her voice was so strong and soft that it caused an incessant chill in her skin. The words of love in that melody could easily reach the hearts of any person. Lauri was still dazzled on the side of the stage. Lauri seemed to be able to appreciate what no one else in all of Rovaniemi had noticed, though possibly that was partly my fault.

If our group "R&R" received applause and roses on stage it was always thanks to Ruth's voice. Because, compared to her powerful voice, no musical instrument was competition, even if they were played by a professional musician, as I am.

The critics, managers, judges or whatever they were, were amazed, I could see that they were also bristling, there is no doubt that whatever their Universe had provoked that night in Ruth, she had done it quite well. Ruth sang about 7 songs and neither we, nor the common public, nor important people in the bar, got tired for a single moment of hearing her sing.

When her concert was over, and after the multiple applauses of the people around, she went to sit at the table of the important and foreign people. On the other hand, Lauri sat at the table where Siiri and I were.

-Are you going to go and tell the clinic that I'm in the bar? -I included the sarcasm.

-Risto, I only did it because I wanted to help you...

-And to put me aside, the point is that no matter how much you want to get rid of me, you'll never be my competition, we're on two different branches, you're the begging friend, and I... am the impossible love -I said cynically.

-Do you see now why I dislike him so much?. And that's the way it's been all his life -said Lauri to Siiri.

-Yes, that's right, but you get used to it quickly, -she answered- besides, he already believes me, he has seen his Universe, he is not a scared baby like you.

-Did he really dare to do that?

-Yes, he communicated and everything, that's why we couldn't come earlier.

-Seems like you two are getting along well, huh? -he asked, laughing. 

Siiri and I played deaf and took a sip from our glass of water.

-Well, how about the center? Are they helping you?

-Siiri shouldn't be there -I replied- and not really to me either, nothing I haven't talked about with my parents before, but well, my parents are more aware of me and what I do or don't do.

-His mother played the violin with him, it was amazing -added Siiri.

-Risto has always been very dear to his parents, many of us would have liked to have had his life.

-But your grandparents love you, Lauri, in their own way, of course. I still remember when they put us to shovel the snow from the garage -I said, laughing.

-My grandfather is still very foolish, but he's a good person, and if, practically, even though I left, I'm more their son than my mother's...

-It's funny, isn't it? -interrupted Siiri- I'm the most fucked up in life, and I'm the least self-conscious. Being happy is your own decision, not that of the circumstances around you.

He shut our mouth with a few words.

Ruth walked over to our table at last with a big, beaming smile and the perfect grey look that so characterized her. She jumped up and down in front of the table, inviting us to be moved by her.

-How did it go? -asked Lauri.

-They told me they want to make me a star! But they say that for that I must go to England.

We kept quiet.

-Why? --Finally Siiri asked, a little embarrassed.

-There's the manager, and they say it's easier for me to stand out there than here, they want me to open big concerts and give small ones.

-And what are you going to do?

-I'll talk to my mother, but I think it's time for me to go, most Finns leave home after high school, I shouldn't miss it. I've only got a year left. I could go to my father and be with him and my brothers while I'm there.

-Good luck... -I exclaimed with an empty pronunciation and a smile on my face followed by a blink.

-Muchas gracias, aunque aún no es un hecho y en todo caso, disfrutemos lo que nos queda aquí. Yo me iré, Lauri se irá... disfrutemos del tiempo que nos quede.

-Yeah, it looks like you and Lauri are going to become stars... -commented Siiri somewhat thoughtfully- Well, congratulations, and don't waste the opportunity.

-Thank you very much -she concluded.

The four of us walked together to the train. On the way he was bothering Lauri by throwing snowballs at his back, although not very hard, and after all it was the least he deserved. In spite of our clothes we were freezing to get to the train. Lauri sat down with Siiri and I sat down with Ruth, we huddled them together, giving them a little warmth, what little we could give in the tremendous weather that haunted us.

Arriving back in the city we ran to our homes, fleeing from the cold, not even worrying about saying goodbye completely. Our footsteps could be heard loudly over the snow. The moon was setting above us, giving us an exaggeratedly romantic atmosphere. If I thought about it, every time I had been alone with Ruth since I was a child, it had been like that. "Stupid Universe," I thought.

We ran to our homes hoping to get some warmth, I went in slowly to keep quiet, but when I turned around my father was already waiting for me and my mother. Both of them crossed their arms in front of the fireplace.

-You said you would call -said my mother.

-I didn't freeze to death -I replied with mockery.

-Risto, your mother and I have to tell you something, we want to move to Helsinki as soon as possible.

-How? -I asked in a strange way.

-I quit my job in the company, I decided to open a bar in Helsinki, there you can finish your studies and I also found out that there is an orchestra where you could get in, inside a school right there. They do world tours...

-When would we go? -I asked, remembering the words of my Universe.

-When you get out of the addiction clinic...

-Ruth is leaving too... -I commented without purpose.

-Where to? -said my mother, surprised.

-She's going to England to study, maybe this semester or next, I don't know, so yes, I want to go too -I concluded running to my room, my parents looked at me puzzled and satisfied with the answer.

I threw myself back on my bed, put on my headphones and strangely started to shed a couple of tears that quickly dried up laughing at myself, never believing that I could be so corny.

Days passed, and I continued to go to the addiction clinic with Siiri who had to follow my advice and admit that he was suffering from some addiction, and then pretend that help was helping him so that he could leave the clinic. We never communicated with the Universe again, and I went back to the old school... I mean playing classical music. Sometimes I would look out the living room window and see Ruth's house, as always silent and snowy, from which you could sometimes see her lovely dog coming out.

One morning when I looked out I saw an older man come into the house, it was someone who wasn't from the village or I would have recognized him immediately. He stayed in there for hours. His fancy black car had been left outside his house. Later he came out of Ruth's embrace, who kissed him goodbye on the cheek. And then it came to me like a huge light, that possibly this man was her father. He left with his mother, leaving Ruth alone in the house.

As soon as I saw him leave, I left my house, and went to Ruth's house. It was a January afternoon, I knocked on the door and immediately she came out to meet me, her dog started jumping for joy around me. Immediately, I had not set foot inside her house for so long. Ruth was radiant, I accompanied her to the kitchen as she was boiling tea. She served me some and then served herself. She was holding my arm tightly while she didn't stop talking: "My father has come to see me", "He congratulated me on the success of the audition", "I will go to England next year".

That last thing broke me. England is a big, crowded city, not like the towns of Finland. So many people will suddenly meet her, and Lauri and I will become part of her past, just a moment in her life, which she as a singer would mention in some interview with nostalgia, that does remind us.

-When are you leaving? It's very sudden -I mused.

-In July, the same week that the exams end...

-I'm also going to Helsinki on the same date. -I said nervously- What about Lauri?

-What about what? Did Siiri say something to you?

-About what? Has something happened? -I asked nervously.

-He has summoned me today to the park where we met and he is very suspicious, -he said somewhat animatedly- perhaps he will ask me to be his girlfriend.

-Girlfriend? Why?

-Well, now that we work together and study together, we've got to know each other pretty well, and maybe it's better to take a chance before I go...

I shut her up with a kiss on the mouth. Her cold hands even felt like roses on my cheeks. I opened my eyes and saw that hers were shedding some little tears. I walked away from her. I kept thinking about how immature I could be.

-Yes, maybe tomorrow will be too late -I said, taking my things.

-Wait. Where are you going? -she asked in shock.

-I'm going to let you have your life, with someone who is good for you and loves you, I can't offer you that at this stage of my life, there are things I still want to live and experience, but I wanted to be the first one to give you a kiss," I smiled inappropriately.

-You're selfish! -she exclaimed- You're annoying.

-Of course not. What I just gave you I hadn't given to anyone.

-How the hell not?! If you have a lot of ex-girlfriends.

-Yes, but I never kissed anyone because they were special, so it counts as my first kiss -I said, walking away from the scene and looking at her sardonically.

I went home to listen to music, walking at a fast pace. I listened to the song of Swan Lake, as I imagined the beautiful date Lauri and Ruth would have. Deep down I felt good for both of them, they were both lonely and good people, I on the other hand, was just starting to take off my wings. And before I could even think of having someone to fly with, I should first learn how to do it.

I remembered that purple ghost who claimed to be my Universe and in my room, I started talking to him.

"I know you're there, so listen to me, I want you to make me the most famous musician, for playing the best music ever. I agree to go to Helsinki. And there's one more thing I want, when I'm older, like 25 years old, I want to meet Ruth again, if we can still be single."

A strange voice sounded in my head murmuring the word "Granted."

This thing about knowing you have the power to create your reality, it's quite a responsibility, but no doubt someone like me was beginning to like it.

Strangely enough, as I turned around in my bed, I found a gift box wrapped in my mother's hand. I removed the wrapping and inside I found a red violin with a note that said "It's your reward for your effort, the one you make every day, to be a better person". I think, if I can trust the Universe after all.

Later, I walked towards the centre of the city in the afternoon, passed near the park, observed Ruth standing waiting, and from the shadows of the trees, came Lauri with a huge bouquet of natural roses. He was making an effort.

I tried to ignore her and keep walking, without any fixed direction, waiting for something good to happen and take my mind off actions that I really didn't want to do.