Risto

Siiri drew a pentagram on the floor of my room, then around it he placed objects representing the four elements: a glass of water, a candle, an incense and a plate with rice. She stood in the middle of the pentagram with her bare feet and in the position of a lotus flower.

I of course imagined that what we were doing went against any rule that any human being could have set in history? And I loved it! I didn't think twice about helping him, that sense of fear generates a certain emotion. Everything forbidden, everything hidden, has always been appealing to me. I guess that's partly why I got a whole arm tattoo.

I stared at Siiri while I was getting settled, I love to stare at people like that, because for some reason it makes them uncomfortable, and I like to make people feel uncomfortable.

—What are you looking at me? —Siiri asked nervously.

—I'm waiting to see if you can show me your hallucinations, —I said, mockingly.

—Well... I'm waiting to see if you can show me your hallucinations —I said mockingly.

—That's what my ex-girlfriends have told me, and then they come up with other tricks —I said mockingly.

—How many ex-girlfriends do you have?

—My mother says counting ex-girlfriends it the worst habit.

—Your mom sounds great, but hey, seriously, shut the door.

I walked over to the door, knocking on the doorknob reminded me that my mom hates it when I lock myself and my friends in the room (or my girlfriends), so I shut it quietly, after all, I guess it was not in her mind to lock us in for a ritual. Siiri started playing soft music without lyrics, I guess to relax. It had different kinds of chords and sounds but in general they conveyed peace, and included a few sounds of nature like rocks, birds, fire, rain... etc.

—Sit down on your bed or aside, you too must meditate with me.

—Why? —I replied in annoyance.

—Because you need it, and because you have to do it for you to see them too. I warn you that the effect lasts 1 hour so it is convenient that you stay here if you don't want them to think that you are on drugs, as it happened to me. Once we open the portal and the turquoise and violet chakras, you can see everything not only with your physical eyes, you can see beyond this dimension.

—Ghosts and stuff? —I asked excitedly— Should we do that and go into the forest?

—You don't understand, do you? Anyway, let's get started.

Siiri asked me to close my eyes and began to speak softly, narrating things and asking me to imagine them. We began to go up the body feeling it and breathing deeply, he asked me to go opening chakras and when I opened them, I really felt and saw their colors wrapped me, but I knew what I was talking about. The turquoise chakra is located right in the middle of the forehead, and represents the third eye. The violet chakra is located three fingers above the crown of the forehead and according to Siiri, meant the connection with the divine. When we managed to open all the chakras, Siiri began to speak asking me to repeat what she said gently ...

"Now we're going to get ready to contact the non-physical beings that inhabit the world, with all the love we have we ask to see our Universes, magical and light beings that always accompany us from the first beat that our heart emanated."

-Relax Risto, —she whispered— you must forget all your worries and breathe deeply, try to keep your mind blank.

—I'm trying, but your voice doesn't help much.

—Listen to the music and take a deep breath to let yourself go.

About five minutes went by in which we were only like this, I felt cheated and at the same time I tried not to think about anything. It seems to be easy, but it is impossible to have a quiet and blank mind, a thousand thoughts go through your head when you are there, and also with the sound of the musical instruments it makes it seem impossible not to see colors and strange images appearing as shadows. People wouldn't even need to take drugs if they meditated, and thinking about it, I don't know how they can find peace in something that only stresses me out.

—Risto... —said Siiri silently— open your eyes slowly...

I began to follow Siiri's instructions and opened them by looking at the nervous floor, my eyes could not open, I felt like when you are drunk and need to sleep, but without sleep. My eyes simply did not respond to my attempts to open them, they closed immediately upon contact with the light in the chamber.

—Are you all right? —asked Siiri.

—I can't open my eyes... they feel heavy, —I said, squeezing and carving them.

—You have to do it little by little... it's normal to have trouble coming back from your first transept.

After carving them several times I could finally keep them open at times, seeing only the face of Siiri who was reflected blurredly before me, I could hear a laugh or two, I could not imagine what kind of face he had at that moment.

—I see blurry... —I commented.

—It is also normal; you have never moved your energy... try to hold your gaze until you see a little better.

—I'm already seeing better but I still feel dizzy.

—You're complaining about everything... —she concluded.

And when she said those words, I saw two ghostly beings peeking out of his back, I carved my eyes and an incredible chill started to run down my back. I opened my eyes in surprise and began to try to say something, but again no word could produce my mouth.

—All right? —asked Siiri with laughter.

—What was wrong with the incense?

—The incense had nothing... these are the Universes you see behind me, one of them is yours.

I began to look at them carefully, both of them putting on their arms, or hands, or whatever those strange, deformed limbs were in their mouths and closing their eyes shaking like jelly. It seemed to me that they were more afraid of me than I was of them, and I began to feel a little more confident. However, I was still not able to coordinate my senses, and although I wanted to move, my movements were quite foolish so I continued to talk while sitting on the floor.

—They both look like female ghosts... one is purple and one is pink.

The Universes opened their eyes, one had huge and expressive eyes, almost like those of a human, and the other had big and less expressive eyes, like those of a kind of doll.

—I am your Universe Risto, —said the purple Universe— and if I am this colour it is your fault —he crossed his arms— and you didn't see me when I was white, I looked worse.

—And why my fault? Were you white?

—Your emotions, your personality and your feelings for others are what give me color. But to put you out of your mind I'm not a girl, we Universes are not men or women...

—Yes, I thought so...

Siiri and her Universe saw us laughing and covering their mouths.

—You should thank and worship me now —exclaimed that purple Universe.

—Why? I don't know exactly what you've done for me...

—I've given you every single thing you've ever asked for...

—Well, I haven't asked for anything...

—Indirectly you do... like when you asked me to be famous.

—I'm still not...

—Weren't you the most popular kid in school?

I was quiet and thoughtful, and then I kept challenging him.

—I said I wanted to be famous, not popular, it's not the same... I want to be on TV and be recognized worldwide.

—I know what you want... but if you don't specify my power it cannot be reproduced to the fullest, however, I keep working on that. I need you to go to the capital with your parents because here in Rovaniemi I don't think it is possible to achieve so much fame.

—I couldn't go... What about Ruth?

—Her Universe is taking care of her and hopefully you'll meet in the future. Lauri's Universe is also working incredibly, it's making a monument out of nothing.

—And Siiri? —I went back to see his Universe.

—Siiri is happy with what she has, —said her Universe— "the only thing I haven't been able to do is free her from the centers of addiction.

—Just admit that you're addicted... —I said.

—I'm not! —shouted Siiri.

—Just do it, they'll help you, you'll say it worked for you, and that's it, they just want to feel like they're really helping... I can't do that because I do have an addiction to treat, and I'm not going to get out of it until I do.

I got up off the floor with jobs and started looking in the top of my big wooden closet. I pulled out two violins that we had in storage, one of which was my mother's when she was young, a black violin with white roses painted on it. And mine is a shiny black violin, simple and elegant.

—I want you to make my violin red, —I said, challenging my Universe.

—That's not how it works, and I don't like being challenged. What I could do is persuade your mother to buy you a red one in any case —I pull out a notepad from nowhere along with a pen, and she started writing down— I am not omnipotent, the omnipotent is what you commonly call "God", he is the only perfect and superior, the only all-powerful thing. I just fulfill wishes and take care of you.

—What strange beings... then your power is limited...

—And besides, I follow rules...

—Your Universe understands you at first time, —commented Siiri— but I have to talk to mine several times to get my ideas.

—It is because Risto is confident, the more confident the person is, the faster we understand his words, —answered my Universe— thoughts, on the other hand, we listen to them only when they are clear and concise.

—And why are you different from Siiri's Universe? Why are your eyes strange? Who is the strange one? You or Siiri's?

—I guess I'll tell you, —he answered— just because you're my human, my eyes are like that because soon I'll be able to reincarnate as a human, you have to wait until you're a Universe of 100 people before that happens. But that will only happen if you give good references to me when you die, when humans die, we guide them with God, we explain more things than you are asking, I am happy to talk to you, I've always wanted to tell you that I'm proud of you and that you've never been alone. If you could let Ruth know too, I think it would do her some good, by the way...

—All right, Siiri — I interrupted— "I'll teach you to play the violin.

—What do you mean?

—It's my way of paying you, plus you said I can't leave here for an hour...

—Risto... —You were called by Ruth —interrupted my Universe.

—Really? What did she want?

—I'm not your receptionist, —it replied with great sarcasm— you should call her back. Maybe it's important.

I grabbed my cell phone and walked down the hall from my room and started dialing it, getting a little away from siiri and being haunted by my purple ghost. The cell phone rang several times before I could get an answer.

—Hello, I have a missed call from you —I exclaimed when he answered.

—Yes, I'd like you to come see me at the Ice Bar today, would you? —she answered.

—I can't get out right now... I'm helping out around the house with some stuff...

—No, not now —Her voice was constantly interrupted by Lauri— Come by around 8, will you?

—Sure... hey —I said suddenly— Can I take Siiri?

—Siri?

—She's here with me...

A sudden silence was heard on the other side of the phone... and then a heavy breathing.

—Yes, bring her... —No problem.

—Okay, I'll see you there.

I hung up the phone and went back to my room feeling strange, like I was doing something wrong, or like I was hiding something, although if I looked at it, it wasn't like that. My Universe stopped me in the hallway floating in front of me with an annoying look.

—Everyone has a question. Do you love her or not?

—Can I ask you something? —I said after a brief sigh— Don't ask me anything to do with Ruth, because I don't have the answer, possibly that's why you don't have the answer either, maybe I'm too immature even to love anyone for now I'll just tell you that I appreciate her.

—You're complicating my job... —it answered, heading for the room.

I think that after all it was not so bad to be able to see the Universes, he had been the only one with whom I had been able to tell the truth completely, without feeling judged. I think that after such difficult days that was all I was looking for, a refuge where I could still be myself.

I went into my room and Siiri had already taken out my mother's violin and was carefully watching it, listening to my footsteps he turned to see me and smiled... and for a moment it crossed my mind that shelters are not always places