OH MY GOSH IS THAT AN UPDATE?!?!?!

Yes. I am here to confirm the What the Heck Was I Thinking is officially back, my dudes!

Today, I thought I would share something a little bit different. Those of you who have read this book in the past probably remember the first story that I reacted to (The Most Extraordinary Tuesday). If not, you can go back and reread it, but I will be giving a quick summary right here.

So we had good old Mary Sue- I mean Pippa Lou, right? And then we had her rival, Jeca McTary, who was causing all sorts of problems and was overall a wacko. In the end, Pippa Lou ruthlessly murdered- I mean, eliminated her with a magic pencil.

Recently my friend and I (hehe hi Tori) came up with this utter masterpiece about the true story of Jeca McTary. That being said, I present to you: Jeca's One True Love.

Are y'all ready for this?!?!?!?!?

Ahem.... (warning: language)

Once there was a girl named Jeca. She was a human person, with inhuman qualities.

People were kind of mean to Jeca because she had a snake growing out of her head. The snake was really chill though so those people were just judgmental. She also had a crow named Warpston.

Jeca was hated by everyone, so her only real friend was a sentient mushroom named Shitake. They talked a lot or something I don't know.

I mean, you do you boo

Before Shitake knew it he had fallen for Jeca super hard. He had planned to propose but he wanted it to be really epic so he created a giant storm and wanted to propose on a mountain. He asked Warpston to go get some rings. Warpston is also f*cking stupid so he didn't know what rings were and went to steal some earrings instead.

#stopbullyingWarpston2020

Jeca was about to eat lunch when she saw a cute pink note on the fridge, it said "Aha girl meet me at the top of our mountain home thingy teehee :)"

How did he get in her house??

There was no denying that the handwriting was Shitake's. She yeeted up there in a hurry, by now it was sunset.

Might just be me, but didn't she just eat lunch?

She saw the mushroom b*stard and the aftermath of the storm. There was a ton of corpses down below but nobody cared about the dead bodies smh.

Anyways Jeca sat down at the top of the mountain.

"Hey Shit," Jeca said. "I saw your note."

Just imagine walking up to someone and being like—

"Hey Shit!"

"Yeah aha I got something to ask you girl," Shitake started. "I really like you or something so let's get married I guess," he stuttered like an anime character.

Jeca was beaming. "Oh my gosh Shit!" I love you!" Jeca picked up the sus mushroom and they started to kissy kissy on the mountain and it was all romantic or whatever.

Jeca was already planning their epic future together when they heard the sound of a lawnmower in the distance. "Oh no," Jeca thought, but it was already too late.

Out of nowhere, a nine-year-old girl yeeted up the mountain.

Pippa Lou, Jeca's rival.

Everybody watching this situation:

This all happened so quickly and Jeca was still smooching her mushroom boyfriend so she couldn't defend herself or her new lover when Pippa pulled a pencil out of her *ss and threw it at Jeca. She died right then and there. Shitake didn't understand why everyone was celebrating his goth GF's death and died of heartbreak soon after. F in the chat boys.

One like = One prayer for Jeca

What happened after? The bird didn't care about them because he was independent and didn't need any mushroom. The snake thing was happy because he was finally free. Jeca was holding him hostage as a brain parasite,

That got dark quickly

and he went back to his home country and embraced his wife boom it's the plot of the Odyssey.

Pippa was beloved by all for committing homicide, but she'll pay for that soon enough. :)

•••

Hope you all enjoyed that- uh- lovely fic!!! Leave your thoughts in the comments of things I should do next!!!

By the way, for those of you wondering, a Shitake is an actual mushroom (it might be spelled differently Idk)

Until next time!

-Mel