Why are y'all afraid of toys? I mean I know our society is repressed as all shxt... But seriously TOYS are FUN! Especially when you find that one you have been dreaming of. You know. The one you name and keep under your pillow sometimes.

Not to mention they are pretty awesome for a delicious little bottom who wants to get a jump start on taking the D. Just like lube, these little babies are great for prepping our boys. Start him out small. Add in a little humour.

Can you imagine the fun? I sure as hell can. Let's say he's too nervous to buy one from a sex shop... Do you know how many every day objects can be shoved into orifices safely? Do you have amy idea how hilarious I find it that people use unsafe ones too ALL THE TIME?

What!? You heard me. Aside from all the banana and cucumber jokes... Ever heard about the one with Buzz Lightyear? He didn't come to the rescue but the ER did. No seriously though. Okay maybe not seriously but...

Markers, toothpaste tubes, teddy bears, random fruit and innocent pastries have all been our victims over the years. Then we grow up and use silicone, metal, glass and plastic that is far more sanitary (not to mention comfortable).

We should give them more story cred here. It could be fun! What would you have your bottom's first experience with a toy be like? Imagine him dying of the blushes when he tries to buy it in a store. Or getting it off the net and terrified someone will open his "package"?

I really wish you would write more about our "Silent Bobs" and "Vibro Vinnys" here.