(AN: this my version)

"Hey, May," Peter walked into his apartment, and headed to the kitchen to get something to eat.

"Mmm. Hey. How was school today?" May asked.

"Okay. This crazy car parked outside" Peter said, he now noticed Tony Stark sitting on the couch with his aunt. "You have gonna be fucking kidding me." He muttered to himself.

"Oh, Mr. Parker." Tony greeted as he got up.

"what are you doing here?" Peter asked, frowning, what the hell is Ironman doing here?

"It's about time we met. You've been getting my emails, right?" Tony asked, making a gesture to go along with it, Peter looked at his aunt who nodded secretly.

"Yeah. Yeah." Peter said with a fake smile.

"Right?" Tony replied

" Regarding the . . ." Peter pauses, hoping to know what lies Stark's makeup to get here.

"You didn't tell me about the grant." May said, letting Peter know what to do.

"About the grant."

"The September Foundation." Tony added.

"Right." Peter looked at May, secretly asking her if she was alright.

" Yeah. Remember when you applied?" Tony said,

" Yeah." Peter said, temping to ask 'what the fuck do you want'

" I approved, so now we're in business." tony said,

"You didn't tell me anything. What's up with that? You keeping secrets from me now?" May asked, Playfully, Peter laughs at that because it is ironic he is keeping secrets but not the one she is thinking.

" Why, I just, I just . . . I just know how much you love surprises, so I thought I would let you know . . . wh . . . anyway, what did I apply for?" Peter said between laughs.

"that's what I'm here to hash out." Tony said,

"Okay. Hash, hash out, okay." Peter said. why the fuck did I say that, who in the hell says that.

"It's so hard for me to believe that she's someone's aunt." Tony said, flirting a bit. Peter right now struggling not to throw himself at Stark and not brutality beat him to death.

"Yeah, well, we come in all shapes and sizes, you know?" May said awkwardly.

"his walnut date loaf is exceptional." Tony said, not knowing he was making Peter angry and May a bit uncomfortable, so Peter put a stop to it.

"Let me just stop you there." Peter said, almost adding asshole but stopping himself because his aunt was right there.

"Yeah?" Tony asked.

"Is this grant, like, got money involved or whatever? No?" Peter asked.

"Yeah"

"Yeah?

" It's pretty well funded." Tony said smugly.

"Wow" Peter said, asshole much

"Look who you're talking to. Can I have 5 minutes with him?" Tony asked may.

"Sure." May said, Tony and Peter head to Peter room. Tony locked the door, making Peter on guard, then he spit out the walnut loaf.

"As walnut date loaves go, that wasn't bad" How about shove more that shit down your throat. "Whoa, what do we have here? Retro tech, huh? Thrift store? Salvation Army?" Tony asked, noticing all Peter's collection of old computers.

" the garbage, actually. Not all of us are millionaires, you know." Peter said, annoyed.

"You're a dumpster diver." Tony said, ignoring the comment.

"Yeah, I was . . . anyway, look, um, I definitely did not apply for your grant." Peter said.

"Ah-ah! Me first." Tony said.

"Okay." Peter said, asshole he thought

" Quick question of the rhetorical variety." Tony said, He pulls out his phone which projects a video of Peter Parker in his Spider-Man outfit. "That's you, right?"

Peter said nothing but looked impassive at the asshole, who was in his room and locked his door like some pervert. Why did Aunt May agree to this?

"Yeah. Look at you go. Wow! Nice catch. 3,000 pounds, 40 miles an hour. That's not easy. You got mad skills." Tony continues, without noticing how annoyed Peter is right now.

"You done?" Peter asked bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Tony asked shocked

"Are. You. Done. Or do you have more videos to ass kiss." Peter said, annoyed.

"Yeah, I'm done." Tony looked around Peter's room.

"The fuck you doing now."

"nothing, languages"

"English, you ever heard of privacy?" Peter asked, annoyed to see Stark snooping around his room.

"Yeah mine, Oh, what have we here?" Tony pulls out Peter's old suit.

"Oh congratulations, you found my old suit." Peter took his old suit from Stark and put it back in its hiding place.

"So. You're the . . . Spider . . . ling. Crime-fighting Spider . . .you're Spider-Boy?" Tony said.

"Spider-Man asshole."

"Not in that onesie, you're not." Tony smirked.

"One: It's not a Fucking onesie. Do I look like a five year old to you? Two: I said my old suit, again Old suit, which means I don't wear that shit anymore." Peter said, stretching the word old. "I don't believe this. I was actually having a really good day today, you know, Mr. Stark. Didn't miss my train, this perfectly good DVD player was just sitting there and . . . Algebra test. Nailed it!"

"Who else knows? Anybody?" Tony asked.

"Nobody dumbass, what do you think I announced this shit on live tv." Peter said, Tony looked offended.

"Not even your . . . unusually attractive aunt?" Tony asked, Ignoring the jab at him.

"No. If she knew, she would freak out. And when she freaks out, I freak out." Peter said. "Quit talking about my aunt like before I super kick you in the balls." He threatened.

"You know what I think is really cool? This webbing. That tensile strength is off the charts. Who manufactured that?" Tony asked, looking at Peter tools.

"I did, in what part of nobody knows who I am do you understand."

"Climbing the walls, how are you doing that? Adhesive gloves?" Tony asked,

"No, that's all me." Peter said deadpan.

"Lordy! Can you even see in these?" Tony asked, picking up goggles and looking at them.

"Mother-- what are you two gimme those." Peter snatched them away. "And yes, I can see in those. Okay? my senses have been dialed to 11. After some crazy shit happened to me."

"You're in dire need of an upgrade. Systemic, top to bottom. 100-point restoration. That's why I'm here" Tony said.

"You haven't listened to a single thing I said, have you?' Peter asked

"Nope, Why are you doing this? I gotta know. What's your MO? What gets you outta that twin bed in the morning?" Tony said, sitting on Peter's bed.

"because i've been me my whole life, and i've had these powers for 6 months." Peter said remembering his uncle. "before those 6 months I made the biggest mistake of my life."

"What that?" Tony was interested in what it was.

"losing someone I love, ever since then it taught me a very important lesson." Peter said.

"what?"

"When you can do the things that I can, but you don't and then the bad things happen . . . they happen because of you. In other words with great power comes great responsibility." Peter said, silently crying for his late uncle.

"So you wanna look out for the little guy? You wanna do your part? Make the world a better place, all that, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah just looking out . . . for the little guy." Peter signs sadly and tiredly. Both of them went silent for a minute.

"You got a passport?" Tony breaks the silence. Peter gave him a look of disbelief.

"No, you fucking moron, does it look like I carry that shit or have driver's license." Peter said, annoying.

"Have you ever been to Germany?" Peter gave him another look, as he was talking to a wall.

"Did i or did i not say, I do not have a fucking passport. So how in the fuck have I ever been to fucking Germany with out a fucking passport." Peter said,

" Oh, you'll love it. Because that's where we're going.

"there no we, because I'm not going."

"why?" Tony asked.

"Because, I got homework and-" Peter held up a book.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that." Peter walked to him and smacked him hard with his book. "Ow Jesus kid." tony rubbing his head.

"Don't interrupt me, I have Responsibility to the city of New York. I sure as hell am not leaving to fight some civil war between you and your boyfriend."

"Then I better tell Aunt Hottie I'm taking you on a field trip. Or maybe your late night activities." Tony went to the door but Peter both webbed his hand on the knob, then threw a book to his stomach. "Dammit kid, what the hell."

"One: you ain't telling may shit, unless you want me to break your jaw in half." Peter said darkly, Making tony eyes widen. "And what did I say about talking about my aunt like that. You're lucky I wasn't aiming lower." Tony covers his crotch.

"Well it either helps me with Cap, or I tell may."

"Tell her what dumbass, that you are taking her 15 year old nephew to Germany. To fight two super soldiers, master archer, a powerful witch, a flying soldier and a shrinking dude." Peter ranted. "To compare to me fighting a bunch of thugs, rapists, murderers and thieves. Who do you think she's going to be more pissed off at?"

Tony thought about what Peter said, and couldn't help agreeing with the kid, the aunt will be more pissed off at him than her nephew. "what will it take to get you to help me."

"after this is over stay as far away from me as possible. I'll come to you, you don't come to me. And fix that damn accord, that shit too many loopholes an idiot would have missed." Tony agreed to the demand and Peter let him go. "Now beat it asshole, I need to pack." tony left. "My life is so crazy."

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