That night, I dream of Paul again. It's a dream, but like many of my dreams, also a memory. Paul walks out of the bathroom in the house in Eyre. It's the middle of the night, just a few hours after my eleventh birthday party ends, a party Mom planned and organized, but didn't show up for until it was almost over. Not surprising, as she never put me or Cassie ahead of the men she was into.

I can't help wondering why he's still there in the house so many hours after everyone else went home.

"It's all yours, kid," he says, stepping to my right.

When I move to walk past him, he stops me. He has Mom's bathrobe on and fiddles with the belt around his waist. "Nice birthday party."

I don't like standing there in the dark hallway talking to a stranger. I'm dressed in a thin nightgown that I'm getting too big for. The only light is the one streaming out from the gap under my bedroom door.

"How old are you now?" He should look foolish standing there in a woman's robe with his long hair falling down his back. But he doesn't... he looks scary.

"Eleven," I say and take a step to the bathroom and the only door I can lock.

"Really?" He looks me over and gives his head a shake. He slides his hands into his pockets. "Eleven, huh? You don't look it."

Then he laughs.

The hall fills with the scent of roses and his laugh morphs and becomes guttural. It rings out, filling the house. It's so loud that I think Cassie will hear it. But just like in real life, she never does.

In the morning, I leave the house early. Too early to catch Nick's group on the stairs, which is a bonus.

I'm not myself. All morning, I'm weighed down with an oppressive heaviness as I drag myself through the halls and into my classes. It's a tiredness I can't shake that sits like a ball of worry in my stomach.

Paul being released has triggered too many memories, and with them, the sense of not being safe anywhere.

What I want more than anything is to avoid everyone. It works out in math class. Mr. Wolburn assigns a test and the entire period, even though Will sits beside me, we say nothing to each other. At lunch, I hide under the bleachers. Being outside in the fresh air, alone, helps.

"Hey Leila, wait up." I'm shaken from my thoughts by the sound of my name being called down the hall. It's the last period and I've almost made it through the entire day without having to speak once.

Nick stops me near the science room and comes close enough that I glance behind me at the wall of lockers, feeling trapped. Could this be something he does to everyone, pushing boundaries, and invading their space? He might just be a touchy-feely guy, but it's the last thing I need right now.

Nick gets in even closer and runs a hand through his shoulder-length blond hair. He fists it there as he tilts his head to the side, his lips curling into a soft smile that transforms his face. I swallow, caught off guard by a face that could so easily be that of an actor or model.

"Have I upset you?" he says at last.

"What?" I ask, pulling my gaze away from the way his tongue slides over his full bottom lip.

The fact I can smell the soda on his breath is only one reminder he's deep in my personal space.

"Because you seem upset." His hands fall open and he waits with his brow raised. His voice has an edge to it that shakes me from the way I'm tracing the symmetry of his features.

The ball of worry I've carried all day expands, becoming heavier in the face of the anger I sense coming off him, even though he's trying to hide it. I take a step to my right. "Wh...why would I be upset with you?" I ask, my voice stumbling over the words.

"Then why are you avoiding me?" His body squares up with mine. "You won't sit with me outside, or in the cafeteria. Why?" His eyebrows draw together and his mouth falls open.

He's mystified, as if this has never happened before. I have the strongest impression that because of his looks, girls have always chased after him and I'm the first—ever—not to fall all over him and it's confusing as hell to him.

"You're new, and you'd think you'd be friendly, but you're not."

If I weren't flustered by his body being so close to me, or dealing with the blow of finding out Paul is out of prison and could be anywhere—including in Ludford—I might laugh. Instead, I'm hot and a little breathless. There's so much I could say about this...like how I don't have to be friendly, or nice if I don't want to.

But when I consider what Nick is in this school, I stop myself and swallow hard because he's not someone I want as an enemy. He's three inches away, but I squeeze my lids shut and picture him three feet away. I moisten my lips, giving myself time to think.

"I have a lot on my plate." My head drops as if my shoes are fascinating. "I missed some school, and I'm still adjusting to things at home. It's a lot to get used to. And it's just... a little overwhelming."

Nick's chest deflates as he raises my chin, and his warm blue eyes lock onto mine. I take an involuntary step and butt the lockers behind me, blinking back the urge to shudder at the unwanted contact. His hand falls away. I know it's not him. It's the entire situation that's making me freeze up inside.

"Don't stress so much. If you need help, just ask."