We walk into the lunchroom and Nick trains his gaze on me. He doesn't say anything, but there's an empty seat between him and Tom I know I could take. And just like that, I'd have instant friends and an instant group. But nothing easy comes without strings. Will stands by him and the way he glances over at me tells me that his joining me for lunch isn't going over so well.

"Go ahead," Christine says with a disgusted shake of her head, as she follows my gaze to their table. "We'll talk later."

I stop her before she can walk away. "Where are we sitting?"

"You sure about this?" It's hard not to miss the skepticism in her tone.

When I nod, Christine leads us to a round table in the corner close to the kitchen. She takes the seat near the wall so she can scan the entire cafeteria. It leaves me across from her with my back to everyone else.

I breathe in a measured way, my body losing the tension it's carried since I parked in the lot this morning because for at least forty minutes I can pretend there's no one here but us. She goes into her bag and lays out a bag of chips, soda, a chocolate bar, and a muffin wrapped in cellophane. I can't fathom what that amount of sugar would do to me. I unpack my lunch of leftover lasagne and broccoli.

Christine watches as she ties her hair up into a long, neat ponytail. She tears open her bag of chips. The smell of vinegar wafts to my nose.

We sit in silence, which I'm fine with. With my gaze down, I concentrate on my lunch and focus on the underlying buzz of all the surrounding voices. It's like I'm in the middle of an enormous white noise machine. Only the occasional loud shout, or peal of laughter, jars the beauty of it.

She waves her hand in front of her. "How are you liking Ludford?" By the annoyance in her voice, I sense it's the second time she's had to ask.

"It's good."

Christine sighs and I realize I have to do better or I'll lose any chance of joining her again. "I... I don't like it as much as my sister Cassie does."

The table shifts as Will drops into the empty seat beside Christine. He reaches out his hand, and she drops three chips into his open palm. "That's all you're getting. You know you owe me a bag."

She turns the open bag my way, but I shake my head. When she takes a sip from her soda, I imagine the liquid sliding down her throat and the sugar coursing through her bloodstream. My parents had one thing in common; an almost obsessive strictness about nutrition. They consider anything not made from scratch junk. Even though Cassie and I have been on our own for five years, we can't shake it.

"You from Bantry or Toronto?" Christine asks between bites. "I've heard both."

I think about how we moved from Eyre because of Mom's boyfriend, Paul. We moved from Bantry to Ludford because of Jaime. In between each of these places, I stayed in Toronto, where Dad helped to pick up the pieces.

"I've lived in both," I say at last, hoping they won't ask me more about it.

Christine lowers her empty bag of chips. She flattens it out as if to make sure she hasn't missed any, before she takes up her muffin and unwraps the cellophane.

"I lived in Toronto for ten years," Will says suddenly, as he takes out a sandwich from a paper bag he lies on the table. "I barely remember what it was like there. My parents moved us after my mom got sick and lost her job."

"Did it take you long to adjust?"

Christine watches our interaction. She doesn't speak, but the purse of her lips shows me she's annoyed again. She interrupts to talk to Will about some game that's happening soon. Will tries to bring me into the conversation, but Christine finds ways to keep me out.

But I listen, and I gather several pieces of information. Nick and Will are on the same basketball team, only Nick is the captain. Christine plays on the girls' team and deeply resents that their games can't draw the same audience as the boys'. It also becomes pretty obvious that Christine likes Will, but that Will thinks of her as a friend. And with that, I get why she's sitting here with me when she doesn't like me at all.

"I like you," she says suddenly. "I didn't expect to. But you seem okay." She smiles at Will as if she knows her words are what he wants to hear. She tips the soda can and downs it before wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. "We should do this again. The three of us."

"Okay," I say, acknowledging that anything is better than being alone at lunch.

She pauses as if unsure she should say it, before she blurts out, "If you want to make friends, open up a little. Let them get to know you. Let them see that they're wrong about you."

Will frowns at her choice of words, but they sink in.

Wrong about me.

Like it's all been decided. Like I knew it would be. Because when you're a closed-off person, people don't like you.

I nod my head, even as I know I won't do it. I let people in when I was in Bantry and look where it got me. 

[Author's Note: 

I messed up. If you are looking for the new chapter published today (June 20) "Cassie", please go to chapter 10. That is where that chapter fits. I somehow missed it when I was publishing each new chapter. 

If, on the other hand, you started reading this book after June 20, then please ignore this message and carry on reading.]