Death is something that I should fear, and yet, sometimes I do not. Why should I fear joining  God and my relatives? Why should I fear such a good thing? Why don't I just die and leave all this pain behind?

People tell me that if I die, it will make a difference, but I don't believe them. I am just an insignificant, annoying, realistic young child. If I died, what impact would it have on the world? What difference does it make if I die?

I don't understand why I keep living if people want me to be someone else. My parents claim to know me, but they don't understand who I truly am. My friends say they like to be around me, yet they'll leave me out if there is a better option. My siblings say they don't get me, which makes them the most truthful people I have around me, but that still doesn't mean that they know the real me.

My classmates only see a smart child that can be used as an easy cheat sheet. My teachers only see an intelligent student with a bright future. My neighbors only see their versions of me. In truth, no one sees me for who I am. 

I would be called a broken child if a physiologist ever read this, but, truthfully, I am broken. I don't really feel emotion anymore. I just think a out what I should be feeling and act like I'm that instead. 

I don't want to be unseen. I want to be seen for who I am. I want to be free. I want to be saved. I want to sit down and have a nice, long cry about everything that is wrong with my life. I want to tell people what I really feel. I don't want to have to act anymore. 

I want to be me.