⚠️ W A R N I N G ⚠️

Ian. Just... Ian being Ian.

(F/R) = Favorite Restaurant

(L/F/T) = Least Favorite Topping

ᴹᵃʸ ²⁵ᵗʰ, ²̴̨̛̩͗̎̽̔̉͒̂͐͝⁰̷̝̜̜̀͊́̾͌̈͒ˣ̵̧̧͔̞̩̟͙̟̟̄̋̑͂̏͘͜ˣ̶̰͎̠̦͖̱͙̩̝̉̇͛̾̂́̈͋́̀̄͌̈́͝ͅ

You were on box number who knows what. But it was the last one, thank God because you were about to collapse from exhaustion. The move to you and Ian's new apartment was... Spotty to say the least. You have zero idea why either of you thought it was a good idea to not have your car.

"It'll save on gas!"

"We'll save money that way!"

"It'll be our shared baby!"

"Less insurance!"

Yeah... You were greatly regretting it now... The damn thing nearly gave out halfway through moving everything back and forth! Which you had to do many many times because of course it didn't have enough trunk space to fit all of Ian's things! Fast forward about... five? Ten trips? To and from college, boxing up your things and driving them to your new apartment, and doing the same for all of his. You were just glad the both of you agreed to never do that ever again.

You huffed, gently placing a heavy box on the cheap, scratchy carpet floor, worried about something breaking if you were anything less than gentle. You bent over backward, groaning as you heard the snaps and pops of your spine. God, you stank. You could feel the sweat cling to the fabric of your shirt to your skin, and you didn't like it. At all. You could practically hear your mom scream 'deodorant!' at you. It didn't help that both your arms and legs screamed for a rest, so you slowly, achingly, laid down on the probably dirty carpet, feeling the texture imprint on your skin.

You had no idea how long you were down there, but you aren't planning on getting up anytime soon.

Unpacking everything was gonna suck. Awesome...

"Hey! Y/N?" You heard your boyfriend call for you, "Pizza's here!"

And suddenly, you're back up.

"Finally!" You cheer, almost running to the kitchen where Ian placed the greasy cardboard pizza box on the counter, "Thank you!" You didn't know if you were thanking Ian, the pizza restaurant, or God himself. Who cares, it's pizza.

"Easy now. It's still hot." Ian stopped you from digging in right away, "Cuz who has two thumbs and got there just in time for them to run out, so then they had to go make an entirely new fresh one just for him?" He stuck out his thumbs.

...

"This guy..."

... Oh Ian... You sweet, awkward man...

"Ahah... Yeah, right. So really, be careful, the cheese is really hot. Plates are in the bag." He gestured to a clear plastic bag of paper plates, which sat next to the pizza box, which you nearly ripped open.

"Fuck yeah! I was this close to eating my shirt." You say, bringing your pointer and thumb fingers together, the tips just barely touching.

"Uh, you're fingers are touching?" Ian furrowed his brows as he focused in on your touching fingers.

"Yeah, and?" You open the box, and a warm wave of cheesy goodness floods outwards. To anyone else, it would look like the cheap, horribly greasy pizzas they serve you at school, but right now to your starving self, it was golden heaven.

"Don't you think we're like... A bit old to be eating cheese pizzas anymore?" Ian grabs a slice after you do and the both of you start a silent game to see who can down the most molten grease the fastest, "I feel like... Maybe we should be past this phase. What about trying a combination pizza next time?"

"Alright," You shrug, taking a long, stringy bite, "But never (L/F/T). Never."

"Right... Right..." The bite Ian took a bite that almost seemed to have stretched over a foot long.

You didn't realize how right everything felt then. There was no place you would rather be, eating crappy pizza in a crappy apartment, with someone you loved.

Growing up, you felt that there were never that many options for best friends. Or friends at all for that matter. You were a rather quiet kid, and for one reason or another, the flighty and unfocused kids you grew up with didn't quite like that. Or gave up on trying to form any type of bond a few sentences in the small talk they would initiate

The only kid who seemed to even want a friend from you was the kid who never seemed to have any. And that was Ian.

He wasn't loud and he didn't have the clothes or toys that were deemed 'cool' at the time. He just faded into the background. And a lot of kids bullied him. But in the end, that only made him an even better friend once you got to know him. He was the definition of a geeky nerd, he was silly, he was awkward, and very unapologetically him. But that's what you liked about him. And years and years down the line... Here you were! Getting an apartment together, going to college together... Life was good. It was nice. You wouldn't mind living like this forever.

"Y/N? Are... Are you alright?"

ᴺᵒʷ

Are you alright?

Right now, no. Not one fucking bit.

How did you not even think that he might try to come back!? That phone call you accidentally answered should've been obvious! I mean... I guess you did get a bit distracted but... You didn't think he would come back so soon!

Your throat began to close in on itself as you felt Ian's eyes bore into the back of your head. The car he got here with drove off ages ago. You were eternally grateful you still had your earbuds in, blasting music because you were sure that the silence between the two of you would have driven you mad. But sadly, it wasn't enough to completely mask his meek voice.

"Y/N? Please..." You felt your nails dig into your palm as he begged quietly, "Turn around at least?"

Oh, Hell no.

You completely broke down after just hearing his voice after just a few months of radio silence. How would you react after not seeing his face for even longer!?

"You're shaking...", Were you? Huh... You shouldn't be so surprised actually...

You still didn't move. It was like your feet were glued in drying cement, keeping you there until someone cut you out. You knew that if you said anything, you would end up choking on air.

Silence...

More silence...

Even more silence...

You tried to place your attention somewhere else, anything else to try and distract you from this nightmare. The tweeting of the birds, the revving of some car that was not in sight, the bpm of your music. Anything. But of course, his voice broke it all over again.

"I..." He sighs. You can hear him take a step closer, "I know this is... A lot. I know you're still mad at me... And you have every right to!", You can hear him take small steps with every word. But you just can't find yourself to take even one step away, "But please...", You hated when he begged, "Please... Let me fix it? Can we go back?", You tensed even more when the weight of his hand landed on your shoulder. You wanted to puke.

Why is he touching you now?

Why is he touching you now?

Why is he touching you now?!

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

"WHY IS EVERYONE ASKING ME THAT TODAY!?", You scream, tears now fully flowing past your cheeks as you finally move, shoving Ian back. You were unsure if you were thankful or not that it didn't make him fall.

"I'm fine, okay!? I just... Agh!", You groan, tugging at your (H/L) hair. You didn't notice that you ended up pulling a few (H/C) strands out, "I'm fucking fine!"

You began to heave, hiccupping slightly. Your hand clutched onto the nape of your neck. You could feel your heartbeat rush against your skin. You finally look up at Ian, your vision a bit blurry past your tears. His hair was longer. Not by much but you could tell.

You could care less about his hair.

You just can't breathe, and you need something to pay attention to. Something that wasn't his face.

You need to go. Now.

You walk past Ian, feeling your shoulder bump into him. You were speed walking, but that didn't seem to stop him as you once again felt his hands on your shoulders. This time, he held on tight, stopping you entirely, "Y/N, wait! Hold on!"

"I don't want to do this, Ian!" You yell, your throat starting to get raw. You can't remember the last time you raised your voice this much, "We're done. We've been done. Nothing you can do can fix that! Don't you get that!?"

You were left panting for air as Ian kept his hold on you. He only looked down at you and your impending episode. His gaze was weak, his brows knit together and his eyes becoming a bit glossy. If you tried, you could even see that his breathing has become slightly erratic too.

"That's not true, Y/N..." He dropped one hand from your shoulder, something you were slightly thankful for, "I came here to you for a reason. I will fix everything as soon as I can. It doesn't matter how, but I promise everything will go back to how it was."

You take a step back, forcing Ian's remaining hand to slip off your shoulder.

'Back to how it was...'

Everything back then seemed like a dream to you now. Everything just seemed right. Perfect. It's laughable now. But you would be lying if you said you wanted to completely disregard everything he said. You were happy then. Yes, you still had your issues, but Ian was always there! Always... It's not exactly easy to just drop someone you were so close with since childhood. At the same time, you know very well that it's for the best to leave it all behind and to start new. I mean... What about Jack? The two of you have... Something going on. He's always there for you, and you like to believe he cares for you. And now that Shaun is living with you, albeit temporarily...

You don't know what to do.

You don't trust yourself to make the right decision. Especially after Jack's scare...

You don't trust yourself.

You groan, dragging your hand down your face, wiping off some tears in the process, "I can't do this right now..." At least you weren't yelling anymore, but now your voice sounded so irritatingly sore, "Can we just-" Another sigh, "Do this later or something? I'm too tired for this shit..."

"Yeah! Yeah... Let's talk later..." Ian noticeably perked up a bit, relieved you gave him the tiniest chance you could, "You still have my number I hope? Heh..."

You nod and walk away, finally making your way to your apartment. You unlocked the door and nearly dropped your bag to the floor in exhaustion.

"Mew!"

But Moon Pie being the sweetheart she is greeted you at the door, purring and rubbing her fluffy small body against your leg, "Oh, little baby..." You cooed at the blind kitty, kneeling to gently scratch behind her ears, trying to be as gentle as possible. After about a minute of you fawning over her, she ran off, doing whatever important kitty things she needed to do, and who were you to stop her?

With a deep breath, you discarded your bag and jacket at the doorway and dragged your feet to the living room, slumping onto the old couch. Normally it was stiffer than a jagged rock, but right now you wouldn't want to lay on anything more than that.

You curl into yourself, resting your heavy, tear-stained eyes. Your mind felt so hazy. More hazy than it has been lately. What the Hell are you supposed to do!?

Whatever... You're too tired to think about anything right now... So let's see if your body will allow you to take a quick nap or something. And it seemed like so, as you felt a pair of warm, large arms encircle you, pulling you against a soft, warm chest, a steady heartbeat thumping against your spine. You hum, feeling all your tension fade.

"Hey, Jack..."

"Who's Jack?"

You are just gonna never speak again. Ever. It's shown to just dig you into a deeper and deeper hole at this point.

Yeah, so... Turns out it was Shaun who cuddled up to you. Not Jack. Actually... Where is Jack?

"Who's Jack?", Shaun asked you again, sitting up with you now, but still keeping his hand lazily around your waist.

You snapped out of thought and cleared your throat "Uh, he's... Someone."

...

"Someone.", Shaun raised an unimpressed brow.

"Yeah. Someone."

"Uh-huh...", Shaun hummed, "What kinda someone?"

"We-Well... He's... Someone."

And so started a five-minute-long silent staring contest between you and your new roommate. The nervous sweating it caused was certainly not doing you any favors either...

Shaun soon sighed through his nostrils and patted your shoulder, then pulled you against his torso "Do you like this someone?"

"I mean... Yeah? I... I like him."

"Like... Like like this someone, or..?"

You paused... Of course you like liked him. You wouldn't be as intimate as you were with Jack with just anyone! But... Can you say you... Well... L... Lov... Looovvvv...

Shit, you still can't say it!?

"I... Y-Yeah? I-I mean...", You stumble over your words. You should like Jack enough to say you loved him. You did It with him for God's sake! Though... last night was a bit foggy, seeing as you felt like you passed out during it. Or was on the verge of it the entire time at least. Then there was Ian's surprise visit.

Oh God...

You felt Shaun's arms encircle you once again. You can feel the gentle thuds of his heartbeat against your skin. It managed to cool down your thoughts just slightly.

"Hey, you... You don't need to tell me anything you don't want to. I'm just worried about you."

Why is everyone worried about you? You are fine. Tired, yes, confused, definitely, but it was... Fine. Like it always is.

Right?

"I'm just... Confused, I guess.", You murmur, feeling your fingers twitch, aching to scratch at your skin, "I...", You groan, burying your face against Shaun's shoulder. You felt his hand start to run up and down your back slowly, "Should I still be this... Hung up on... Ian?"

It was quiet for a bit as if Shaun was thinking. You were in no rush though. For once, the silence was a bit comforting. That, and Moon Pie has just strutted up to the foot of the couch, her purring form brushing up against your ankle before she jumped up on your lap, curling up into a little vibrating ball, allowing you to pet her thick grey coat.

"Well... I don't blame you if you are.", Shaun finally spoke, gently scratching behind Moon Pie's ear, "Did... Did something happen?"

"I... Uh...", You groan again, having trouble trying to even grasp your thought process, "Jack and I met a few months ago and..."

You ended up telling Shaun everything. Well... Almost everything. You just left out the parts about Jack being a possible ghost clown show host from the eighties. You just felt the jumbled words of your mind somehow organize themselves into coherent sentences and the more you heard your own voice, both the less and more sense things made for you. You still weren't completely over the whole Ian situation. The encounter you had with him earlier obviously proved that. And the whole thing with the leather jacket guy confessing to you at the yogurt shop... You didn't feel like you were lying back then when you said you weren't looking or ready for a relationship. So... What was going on between you and Jack? Were... Were just using Jack as some sort of rebound? As some way for you to cover your anxieties and pretend like you're finally okay? Because if that's the case...

You don't want that to be the case.

After you finished spewing out your word vomit to Shaun, you finally realized you were crying about halfway through. Shaun gathered a small bundle of his shirt and used it to wipe away your tears, something he almost always did.

"Heh, yeah,", Shaun gave a weak chuckle, "I'd be confused if I were in your shoes, too.", He brought his shirt back down and looked at you, his black-colored eyes gazing down at you with sympathy, "Well... I think... I think that you should put yourself first. Let yourself heal from what happened with Ian before you... Try to get into any new relationships.", Shaun spoke slowly and you just sat there and listened, gently running your hand up and down Moon Pie's back.

"Are you still planning to meet up with Ian?", Shaun asks.

"I don't know...", You mumble, looking down at the ground.

"Do you want me to be with you if you do?", He asks again.

"I... I don't know..."

Silence overtook you two once again, and you heard Shaun exhale through his nose. Not in a frustrated fashion though. He rarely ever got frustrated with you somehow.

"Well... How about you go rest, okay? Take a nap? I can order us take out from (F/R) if you want?"

You slowly nod. A nap sounds absolutely heavenly right now. And paired with your favorite food?

Shaun smiled and picked you up, resulting in you yelping in surprise and little Moon Pie jumping off your lap and strutting off to your room.

"Hey! I can still walk!", You bang on Shaun's broad back as he throws you over his shoulder, though you don't hit him too hard.

Shaun simply laughed his infamous evil laugh as he walked through the kitchen and into your room. He pushed your bedroom door open and threw you onto your mattress, watching your body gently bounce at the force. You were left giggling as Shaun gathered your blankets and tucked you in, "I'll let you know when the food gets here, okay?", He smiled, patting your head.

"Mew!"

"And you~", Shaun cooed, bending down to scoop up a precious ball of fluff, "Daddy has a special job just for you!", Shaun held Moon Pie up as the blind kitty meowed in response to her owner, "You watch over little Y/N, okay? I trust you will do the job?"

You couldn't help but smile at it all. Watching Shaun assign Moon Pie a special 'job' just to watch over you. Shaun smiled, leaving little pecks and kisses all over Moon Pie's little head before placing her right next to your laying body, where she immediately began twirling around and lying down.

Seeing as everything was now kinda in order, Shaun turned to leave the room.

"Hey, Shaun?", You call out to him, making him pause in the doorway, looking over his shoulder and over at you, "Thank you."

He only smiles at you, "Anything for you."

Author's Note

Can you tell that I love Moon Pie? Probably not lol