I've been hiding in Avrey's guesthouse.

Avrey hunted me down and the first thing she did was throw her hands around me. She was crying, telling me how sorry she was.

I had to assure her it wasn't her fault. No matter what, she was always there for me. And she had come when I needed her the most. That's all that matters to me.

She offered me staying in here, however long I needed. It's been like living in my own apartment, which is cool. Having your own place isn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

Brooks found me the next day. And man, I wasn't prepared for the emotional mess I'd be.

I opened the door for him and we had sat in silence for a whole minute before he asked the question that broke my heart.

"Did you not trust me?"

"Of course I do, Brooks. I just didn't want you to look at me different. Or not believe me."

"I'll always believe you, Lina. You're my sister. I'll choose you over anyone in the world."

And that had us both crying. For a long time. He hugged me, apologized to me. And I was just so happy he believed me, I told him it didn't matter. As long as I had him, I was okay.

Today was his graduation. In a couple hours, he'd be a free man. And it was so exciting. I was happy for him.

He was sitting with me, trying to figure something out for us.

"What if I take a gap year?"

"No way. I'm not letting you do that."

"Lina." Brooks crosses his arms.

"Brooks," I mock. "You got offered a full ride to play football. You love football. I'm not letting you give that up."

"But—"

"No."

Brooks sighs. He's been trying to figure out a way to make it to where we could live together while I finish school. I don't want to transfer schools in my senior year. And I won't let him give up his scholarship.

"Maybe I'll just rent an apartment here for us both and live in the dorms, then."

"You didn't want to live in the dorms."

"Yeah, but then I can come home every weekend to our apartment."

"That'll be way too expensive, traveling every weekend. And when you have an away game or something?" I shake my head. "No."

Brooks groans in frustration. I just smile at him.

"I appreciate the effort, Brooks. I'll be fine here for just one more year, okay?" I assure. "Avrey wants me to stay here until I can do anything else, anyway. I'll be fine."

"But it's supposed to be you and me, Nana."

"Brooks, it is you and me. This is why I didn't want anyone knowing, cause you'll treat me different. Now you want to give everything up just to be here and I won't let you do that for me. I've survived this long, Brooks. I'll survive one year without you."

Brooks shakes his head. "You're stubborn."

I chuckle. "I'm real."

"Whatever," he chuckles.

"I appreciate you for trying, though."

Brooks smiles, then looks at his watch. "I gotta go."

I nod. "Of course. Make me proud, big brother."

He walks towards me and wraps his arms around me. "I'll always try, baby sister."

I hated that I wasn't gonna be able to go. But I just wasn't ready to go out there and have the chance of running into our mother. He warned her to stay away, but I highly doubt she'll listen. And I don't want to be dragged back down into the dark place in my head she put me in the day that happened.

So I'll stay, because I need to take care of me, first.

"I love you." I sigh as he pulls away.

"Love you. I'll be back after, okay?"

I nod. "Sounds like a plan. Be safe."

Then, I was alone again. Avrey wanted to hang out tonight, but again, I had to use the whole this-is-why-I-didn't-want-you-knowing thing because she's been trying to spend way too much time with me. I encouraged her to go out with Landon and enjoy herself.

I liked time alone, too.

But today, I was thinking about Hayden. And it made my heart hurt.

Hayden has been trying to get ahold me, but I won't let him. Or let Avrey or Brooks tell him where I am.

Hayden didn't need me in his life; I come with a lot of baggage, and issues, and I didn't want him to feel pressure to stay with me.

He deserves better. Way better than what I can give him.

And everything that happened was his clean break. I love him. And I probably always will. But it's for the best. I'm doing this for him.

I sigh, trying to get my heart to stop missing him. I try to distract myself with cleaning and showering and shaving everything, but it was no use. I just kept thinking about him.

I've concluded I'll always be like this. Seeing things and being reminded of him and the good times we had. And it's not a bad thing. Cause he means so much to me.

Hours pass. Brooks is probably graduated, saying goodbye to all his friends and admirers. Social little butterfly he is. I make popcorn, getting ready to start watching Urban Legend. But a sharp knock makes me pause.

"Brooks?" I call out. "I thought you would've be—"

Words get caught in my throat. Cause I wasn't expecting Hayden to be on the other side of the door. Looking slightly out of breath, panting.

"Why are you panting?" I ask.

"Traffic pile up a few miles away. Decided running the rest of the way here was a better option."

"You ran here?" I shake my head. "Why?"

He steps inside, shutting the door behind him. I take a step back, watching him.

"You've been ignoring me."

"Not really." I lie.

"You ran away from me."

"No."

I step back until my back hits the dining table in the center of the small space. He just takes another step forward and stands way too close to me.

"Why are you hiding from me?"

"I'm not." I shrug. "I've been here."

"Then why wouldn't you let me come here? Why haven't you been answering my calls, my texts?"

I huff a breath, looking away from him. I missed him. And now having him in front of me? It hurts. Cause I know what I have to do.

I thought I wouldn't have to. Ending things the way they did was better than having to face him.

"I don't know, Hayden. I've been busy."

"Too busy to let me know how you're doing? Or if you're safe? Or if I could fucking see you and hug you and tell you how sorry I am?"

I wanted nothing more than for him to do that.

"Yeah, apparently."

Hayden shakes his head. "Bullshit."

"Listen," I cross my arms. "It's better if you just go."

"Go?" Hayden furrowed his brows. "Why?"

"Because, Hayden. You graduated tonight. You're getting ready to go out into the world and make a name for yourself." I lift my shoulders. "Obviously, what we had is over."

"Over?"

My heart hurts. Every word I'm saying sounds so wrong coming out of my mouth. The look on his face makes me wanna just jump into his arms and take it all back.

"Yeah. We did what we should've, which is get all that tension out. Now it's time to cut it off and go our separate ways."

"Separate ways?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because, it's for the best."

"Like hell it is." Hayden steps back, shaking his head. "What is this really about, Lina?"

Something feels like it's wrenched in my throat. Like I can't get the words out.

I'm tired of Hayden seeing me broken.

"This is about you and me. It's just not working out anymore, Hayden."

"That's the biggest lie I've ever heard." His brows deepen with anger. "You know we work really well together."

"No. All it was, was sex. That's it. Now it's time to move on."

That hurt Hayden. I saw it slap him in the face. Tears sprung to his eyes and it broke my heart. He didn't move, didn't say anything. He was just staring at me with tearful eyes.

"You should go." I say quietly.

I couldn't be here anymore. I was gonna break down if I did. I turn and walk down the hallway, trying to disappear into my room. But as I was shutting the door, Hayden's body comes thrashing against it, making me jump.

"That's such bullshit, Lina." He stepped into my room. "Why are you trying to do this right now? I've been here for you, this whole time. Never once did I run away, or try to leave you. So what the fuck?"

"That's exactly it!" I shout, tears springing my eyes. "You've had too much of my burden for too long. And I don't want you to have any more of it." I shake my head. "You deserve better than this."

"No, I don't."

"Yes you do!" I scream. "I'm broken. I'm fucked up. I have a fucked up past that makes me worry and scared all the time. You don't deserve to be with someone like that! You should be with someone better, who can offer you more in life."

"Offer me more?" He shakes his head. "That doesn't even make sense, Lina!" He steps forward and looks down at me, both our chests heaving. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I fucking love you, you stupid shit!" I yell. "I fell in love with you," I repeat, quieter, tears falling. "And because I love you, I'm telling you to leave. You don't deserve my shit. You deserve someone who—"

"You stupid, stupid girl." Hayden mutters before grabbing my neck and pushing his lips on mine.

I immediately melted into him, kissing him back. He kisses me several times before he pulls back.

"Don't you get it? There is no one better than you. You are the only person better for me, who can offer me more in life." He shakes his head with a small smile. "I've loved you for years, Lina. I didn't even realize it until it was too late. But I fucking love you."

My heart was beating way too fast.

"You what?"

"I. Love. You." He states firmly. "I'm helpless not to, Lina. I was yours the day I met you. I just didn't realize it until I had you, wanting to protect you from all this shit. My heart is yours, Lina. There's no one else for me. Just you."

Tears were still falling down my face. "But-but what about college, and your art, and your life? You want more than this."

"Stop telling me what I want," Hayden practically growls as he pushes his lips back onto mine.

I stumble backwards, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pushes my back against the wall, kissing me desperately. I was panting when he pulled away.

"Stop telling me that you aren't what I want. You're everything I want, Lina. I don't have a life without you. I don't have a reason to strive for more without you. So tell me," he grabs my neck and runs his thumb across my jaw. "Am I really better off?"

I shrug. "Maybe not."

He smiles. "Definitely not."

My eyes flutter shut, another tear rolling down my cheek. Hayden swipes it away, kissing my temple. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm afraid that if I open my eyes," I sniffle. "This will all be a sick, twisted dream. And you won't be here."

"I'm not going anywhere, baby."

"I don't deserve you." I admit weakly.

"Open your eyes, Lina."

I'm hesitant. I know he's gonna be giving me that all-knowing, soul piercing look. But I'm afraid.

But slowly, I open them. And sure enough, he's giving me that exact look.

"Don't ever say that shit again," he warns. "I don't deserve you. You're way too good for anyone in this world, and for some reason, you chose me." He smiles. "You chose me and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making sure you never regret that decision."

"That's a really long time," I half smile.

"I don't have anywhere better to be, baby." His thumb brushes against my bottom lip. "You're it for me."

"You're sure?" I ask.

"A thousand percent."

"But what about college, and me still being in high school. And fuck, my mom kicked me out, and that shit hurt. And what if—"

Hayden shuts me up by pressing his lips against mine. I kiss him back, clinging onto him for dear life. He gently lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist, keeping him close.

"I just said you're it for me, Lina. We'll figure all the other shit out later. Together. Right now, I just found out that the love of my life does actually love me back. And I kinda wanna kiss the shit out of her."

I grin, heart soaring. "Yeah, same."

And like that, his lips were on me again. Desperately claiming me in a way that had my toes curling. He laid me back on the bed, tongue diving into my mouth. I let him take all of me, cause it's all his, anyway.

All I am belongs to him.

Hayden breaks away, eyes shut and breathing heavy. "I need to stop now, or else I'm gonna—"

"Don't stop," I beg, kissing his neck. "Please."

"I didn't come here for sex, Lina," he groans. "I just missed you. And love you."

"Yeah, but you started something," I nip his neck. "You need to finish it."

He grins, his hold on me tightening. "You're sure?"

I pull back to look at him. Those beautiful eyes, always full of so much concern for me. Love for me. I would give everything for this man, doesn't he realize that by now?

"I'm always sure about you, Hayden." I grab his hand and bring it to my chest. "Everything I am is yours. My body, my soul, it's yours. Feel how fast my heart is racing? It beats for you." I smile. "I'll never not be sure about you, about this. Us."

"I like the sound of that," he presses down on my chest, feeling my heart. "Us."

"Me, too."

Hayden wasted no time. And honestly, I was just as eager. Being with Hayden has always been like this, though. Never having enough, never being close enough. I always want more, always want to be closer to him.

I cling onto him like my life depended on it. Like he was the only thing keeping me centered in this world. Because really, he is.

Having Hayden buried deep in me while his eyes bore into my soul felt so different this time. My stomach tightened, my walls clenched around him. But we were taking it slow, each one of his thrusts feels like a proclamation of his love for me, taking the time to feel every inch of my body.

But when he kissed my lips and rested his forehead against mine, I knew I was a goner.

"I love you, Lina Andrews. I love you, I love you, I love you."

That sent me over. I could feel his love, and it was the most heavenly experience I've ever had. Hayden kept chanting I love you over and over until he came with a cry, falling onto me and kissing my lips.

I was lost in him, and I loved it.

"I love you," I murmur as I stroke his damp hair. "A lot."

Hayden chuckles, kissing my chest. "I love you, Lina. Always."

Tomorrow, we'll worry about everything that comes next. Tomorrow is a new day.

Tonight, we'll lie here and enjoy the feeling of love. Enjoy each other. We wasted enough time dancing and tip toeing around the truth. But not anymore. The 'I love you' was in no shortage tonight, especially whenever we proclaimed it each time we came, in bliss together.

And I have a feeling life is gonna be just fine, as long as I have Hayden by my side.

A/N

So, yeah 😌

There's probably gonna be another chapter or two left of the story, but don't worry, loves. I'm gonna be adding tons of bonus chapters that tie in not only with this book, but with What's Forbidden, too 🥰

Thanks for reading, lovelies! Don't forget to vote, comment, etc!! <33