I didn't really enjoy waking up, personally.

Because as soon as I opened my eyes, I normally had to scan the room, making sure Roy didn't creep into my room while I slept. After that, I'd spend a good twenty minutes just mentally preparing myself in case Roy did try something. And then I spend the rest of my day trying to avoid him at all costs.

So no, I didn't really enjoy waking up every single day, having to plan for my fucking safety.

But today? Today I actually didn't mind it.

First off, cause I knew I fell asleep in Hayden's arms, safe from all threats in my house. And second? Cause he woke me up in a very kind way.

In a half sleep daze, I felt Hayden's lips on my neck. Goosebumps instantly spread across my skin as I felt him smirk against my skin, placing another hot kiss on my collarbone. His hand moves, his thumb gently gliding over my nipple. I'm helpless not to shudder under his touch.

I don't say anything, not wanting to break this moment between us. Instead, I pressed my ass against his bare skin, begging for more. Hayden understands, firmly cupping my breast and squeezing it. I breathe heavy as his other hand starts to glide downward, fingers inching closer to where I need him already.

"Mm," he hums in my ear as his long finger strokes me. "Haven't even opened your eyes yet and you're already wet," he nips my ear. "Such a greedy girl."

I moan in response, pressing closer against him. He grunts in response, but thrusts a little upward so I can feel his hard cock against my ass cheeks. I spread my legs, allowing him easier access.

"Greedy," his voice is gruff. "I fuckin' love it."

Another stroke, his thumb circling my clit. He was barely touching me and I was ready to combust. I reach behind me and fist his hair, my head falling against his shoulder. His finger teased my opening, never pushing in.

"Choice is yours," Hayden's other hand squeezes my nipple, earning a small gasp from me. "Do you wanna come by my fingers, or my dick?"

How is that even fair? He's so good at everything, the choice is impossible. But before long, I was pressing myself closer to his dick, spreading my legs a bit more, welcoming him in.

Hayden's hand left between my legs to circle my waist. And then slowly, oh so slowly, he inched himself in. My jaw slacks, the faint feeling of soreness instantly being replaced with pleasure. He slowly works himself in me until he stops, letting go of a harsh breath.

He pulls out, then slowly back in again. My eyes practically roll to the back of my head. Most the times we've had sex, it's been Hayden's desire taking over, going hard and fast. Never like this. Never like he's caressing me from the inside slowly, appreciating every moment, all the warmth.

The thought in itself caused a moan to ripple through me.

But Hayden pulls out suddenly and I almost cry at the loss of contact. But Hayden shifts, leaning against the headboard in an upright position and pulling me to his lap. His eyes dark and dangerous and full of desire as he looked down at my body, then back to my eyes.

I didn't need to be told what to do. Or what he wanted. I can just feel it. So I anchor myself on my knees and hover over him just enough, gripping onto him and guiding him slowly back to my entrance. As I took his tip, I didn't think it'd be a problem.

But sitting upright? Presents a big fucking problem.

Hayden's dick, to be specific.

Halfway in, I have to stop to adjust to him. My breathing is rugged as I hold onto the headboard for support. Hayden's hands are on my hips, eyes looking at me.

"Are you okay?"

I nod quickly. "Yes," I pant. "You're fucking bigger this way, some how."

Hayden smirks cockily. "But you can take it, can't you?" He leans forward a bit, kissing my nipple. "Cause you're such a good fucking girl, aren't you, Lina?"

His words shot through me, pleasure shooting right to my core. I slide down more, almost taking him fully. Hayden's mouth takes my left breast hostage, tongue flicking my nipple and teeth grazing it just enough to drive me crazy.

I finally slide all the way down his shaft, a gasp escaping both of us as I do so. Hayden's dark eyes met mine, lips twisting upward.

"Good girl, baby." Hayden lifts his hand and gives my ass a gentle slap. "Always such a good girl for me."

I moan, nodding. "Yes," I wrap my arms around his neck. "Yes."

"Good. Now ride me, baby. Ride me and use me til you can't no more. Take everything I have."

My heart jumped to my throat. Those words were meant for sexual things, and my pesky little heart wants it to mean more.

So I shove it down and lift myself up, falling back onto him. He curses, eyes wild as he watches me. I roll my hips, lifting myself up more and slowly coming back down. And the next time I did so, Hayden thrusted to meet mine, and I swear I could feel him all the way in my throat.

"Fuck," I moan, eyes shutting.

"Eyes on me, Lina." He commanded, and I quickly opened them. "That's right. Watch me as you fuck me."

I don't know why that was so hot. But it was. So I did what he asked, because I was too weak not to. I rode him again and again and again until I was a quivering mess. Hayden's mouth found its way back to my tits, but his eyes never left mine. He tugged on my nipple just as he thrusted upward a bit, making me come with a moan and his name coming off my lips.

But Hayden wasn't through yet.

He grabbed my waist and flipped us over so my head was on the pillows and he was hovering over me. He stared into my eyes as he chased his own high.

But he didn't lose himself this time.

He slowly thrusted in and out of me, eyes boring into mine. I wrapped my arm around his neck, my stomach in a whirlwind of emotions.

I loved him. I loved him so much, it physically hurt in this moment. For him to be so caring, so tender, so sweet even during this intimate moment. My heart was a traitor, pounding double time from not only my need building back up, but from adoration and love for him.

Finally, his pace quickens. He starts moving a bit faster, his thrusts more sloppy. I knew he was getting close. And fuck the no-kissing-until-teeth-are-brushed rule. I gripped Hayden's chin and brought his lips to mine, just wanting his taste.

Our kisses were as sloppy as his thrusts as he built me up on the brink of another orgasm. I was panting against his lips as he reached between us and thumbed my clit. Hayden looked back at me and I swear I saw his lips moving, but I reached my climax just as he did, my moans echoing the room, pleasure pushing me into a daze.

I felt Hayden finally orgasm, his body stilling as he laid on me carefully. As per usual, my hand went through his sweaty, matty hair, trying to regulate my breathing.

It was quiet for what could've been an eternity—Hayden's hand on my chest, thumbing my nipple. Me stroking his hair. And his dick still in me. I was just enjoying this moment.

My heart swelled at the sight of his small smile as he rested on my chest, his eyes shut.

But I had to ask. "Hayden, why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"

He sighed, opening one eye to look at me. "It's not a big deal to me."

I scoff. "Not a big deal?"

Hayden shrugs. But his dismissiveness made me angry. So I slipped out of his grasp, which made his eyes shoot open, as I grabbed the robe he'd thrown off me last night and wrapped it around my body. Then I crossed my arms.

Hayden just sighs heavily, sitting up. I silently thank God that the sheets fell on his lap. Lord knows I can't think when I start getting turned on.

"It's not, Lina. Why do you wanna fight about it?"

"I don't want to, Hayden." I shake my head. "I'm actually kind of offended. I knew it was at some point this month, but I didn't remember the exact day because..."

Because before, it didn't matter. Before, I didn't give two shits about his birthday. Now, though, now it matters.

"Exactly," Hayden shrugs. "It doesn't matter, it's not a big deal."

I'm not sure why those words physically hurt my heart. It felt like he'd told me that a dog had died. I felt tears burn my eyes as I held his gaze.

"Well," I scoff. "It matters to me."

I turn, ignoring his calls to me, and lock myself in the bathroom. I let go of a shaky breath and bite my lip. I couldn't believe the situation I'd gotten myself into.

I've gone and fallen for the guy. And that whole dismissal, telling me his birthday doesn't matter just goes to show how deep I've gotten myself. He doesn't want me to celebrate him, to know something so important.

It was supposed to be simple between us; no strings attached, no feelings. And I'm the one who fucked up my own rules.

"Lina," Hayden knocks softly. "Please open the door."

I look at the closed door. I mean, I can't really be mad at him for following the rules I set, now can I? Even though it hurts like a bitch.

So I huffed a breath and unlocked the door. Hayden, who slipped on his boxers, quickly came in, pushing a hand through his hair.

"My parents used to go all out for my birthday," he started, looking down. "My dad, especially. They were so dramatic about it, sometimes it was embarrassing. Taking me out of school all day, getting me whatever I wanted, treating me to anywhere I wanted to go. Being so young, it felt kinda cool."

When Hayden lifted his eyes back to mine, tears pooling around the edges, I felt my heart break a little. I stepped forward, placing one palm on his cheek. He smiled softly at me, sniffling.

"My parents were so cool in my eyes. But my dad and I just...it was different. And I loved him, a lot. So my first birthday after his passing, when my mom was held prisoner to her own home, I got angry. And each passing year, more anger. Cause some dumb fucker decided to break up what we had. That's when I," he nervously looked at me. "I started getting into trouble and shit I shouldn't have done, shouldn't have made my mom go through. But I'm selfish. And I did whatever I wanted to do.

"I saw how much not being able to make my birthday hurt my mom. So eventually, I just decided not to care so much about it. Told her not to care so much about it. It's just another day of the year. I didn't want her to feel obligated, you know? I wanted her to be content with what she could give me. And who am I not to be okay with that? She's stuck with me even when I became a selfish, shitty bastard."

I wipe his fallen tear with my thumb, placing my other hand on his neck.

"Hey," I gently coax. "You're not selfish, you're not shitty. You went through something traumatic. You were used to one thing, and you had to adjust to another. That doesn't make you a terrible human."

"Doesn't it, though?" He countered. "Because I became so used to it, so fucking spoiled, I was angry I wasn't getting that anymore. Until I told myself, over and over again, that my birthday didn't matter anymore. Only keeping my mom happy."

"You don't think she's happy? Especially on the day of your birth?" I scoff. "Of course she is, Hayden. And I know she probably beats herself up for not being able to give you what you deserve, but that's not her fault. It's the fuckers who caused this. Not yours, not hers. And your birthday is important, Hayden."

I smile at him, resting both hands on his shoulders.

"You matter so much to so many people. Don't downplay your importance or relevance because you deserve to be fucking celebrated. You're too important not to be. I would've loved to done something nice for you, after all you've done for me. Because you are important. And I—"

The words got caught in my throat. But it didn't matter, cause Hayden chose that moment to crash his lips against mine, anyway.

I'd almost slipped, almost told him I love him. But it hurt my heart to know that he made himself believe that his birthday didn't matter, that he was selfish for thinking so. It made me sad, for him and his mom. But more than anything, it made me angry for the people who took that away from him.

But anger melted away at the tender way Hayden was kissing me right now. It was claiming, oh so claiming. It was almost like he was branding me with these kisses. His lips were soft, but I felt the need, the want, the emotion pour from him to me. Hayden wrapped his arm around my waist, my hands gripping the back of his neck.

We lost ourselves in that kiss until we had to pull back for air. Our heavy breaths mixed together as his eyes searched mine.

"You're important, too."

I felt my insides melt a bit at his words. I bite my lip to hide how big I wanted to smile. I didn't want him to think I got the wrong idea, but shit, those words meant so much to me. They made my heart skip a beat.

I press my forehead against his, letting my eyes fall shut. I'm not sure how long we stood there, but it could've been forever. My heart was beating wildly, solely for him. I never wanted him to feel less than, because Hayden West is such a beautiful person. If you would've told me eight months ago that I'd be saying that about him, I would've thought you were crazy.

But here I am. Completely and utterly in love with this man.

And it makes me nervous; cause I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. But I did. I fell in love with his smile, his laugh, the way his hair falls over his eyes. His heart. His personality. Everything about him.

And the way he's taken care of me without question? I sigh, wrapping my arms around him and resting my cheek against his chest.

Hayden's different. Being with him is different. I'm scared as all hell to let him know that, though. Cause right now, he has my heart in his hands. And I'm afraid that he won't feel the same way, and let my heart slip through his fingers.

So for now, I'll hold onto this feeling for just a little longer and let him keep hold of my heart.

A/N

I'm such a bad author LOL! But I've been working on so much stuff behind the scenes!! Including a completely new book that I've been writing nonstop—I got randomly inspired and am so so so sooooo happy with how it's going so far :) but don't worry! I'll finish this story. Just sidetracked a bit LOL.

But thanks for reading, lovelies! Don't forget to vote, comment, etc!! <33