Oh look I'm sad again that happiness lasted about a day or two

TRIGGER WARNING

~~

I laid in my bedroom late at night, staring up at my ceiling. I felt so worried about Gee I couldn't sleep. I was actually sick because I was so worried. I tried calling him but it went straight to voicemail. I almost drove over there. I drove halfway before coming back. I didn't want to mess everything up with Gee. Maybe just give him some time to cool off and he'll be fine.

"Fucking stupid," I muttered.

God, why'd I have to fucking say anything? First I was sucking his dick then I was asking if he wanted to commit suicide, what the hell is wrong with me?

I sat up, unable to sleep after tossing and turning. I went and and grabbed a chocolate bar, and going back to the living room where I turned on the tv. I sat until nearly four in the morning when there was a small knock on the door. I went down and saw Gee standing there with tear filled eyes.

"Beautiful, oh my god," I muttered, giving him a hug.

He whimpered and I pulled away. Gee held up his left wrist and I saw the blood and cuts.

"Baby," I breathed, feeling my own eyes filling with tears.

I picked him up bridal style as I shut the door, cradling him in my arms and carrying him upstairs to the bathroom.

"Baby," I whispered, shaking my head as I turned the sink onto cold water.

He sobbed when I rinsed his wrist off, shaking and crying hysterically.

"Hey, hey, calm down," I mumbled, stroking his hair with my free hand softly.

I grabbed my first aid kit and pulled out the roll of gauze.

"Why?" I whispered shakily as I shut off the sink.

I dried his wrist gently, feeling him wince. I wrapped it tight in gauze and he cried. By the time I finished taping it down, I was sobbing myself.

"Daddy, wh-why are you crying?" He asked.

"Because I love you and I hate to see you like this," I replied quietly.

"Y-you love me?" He asked in shock.

"Of course I do," I stated. "I love you so much."

"Nobody's ever loved me before," he mumbled sadly. "Not even my own parents."

"But I love you so much and it hurts me to see you like this, beautiful," I cried.

"I'm sorry, if don't mean to hurt you too," he sobbed.

I wrapped my arms around him tight, letting the two of us cry together.

"Please don't do this again, baby, I love you so, so much I don't want to lose you," I cried.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he cried.

I picked him up, carrying him over and sitting us on the couch. I hesitated for a moment before taking off the pink bracelet that Gee gave me. He looked at me with wide, watery eyes.

"Y-you don't want me anymore?" He squeaked.

I put the bracelet around his clean wrist and sighed

"You know I always want you to come talk to me," I said, "But here's this. If you...if you ever feel like cutting again just snap this instead. But please, baby, please come talk to me first."

He nodded, looking up at me. I was so distracted by his wrist that I hadn't seen his black eye.

"Oh, Gee," I sighed. "Let me go get you some ice."

I got up, grabbing an ice pack before coming back and pulling him into my lap again. Gee held it to his eye, resting his head against my chest.

"I'm sorry," he whispered tiredly.

I ran my hand through his hair gently, kissing the top of his head.

"How'd you get here, baby?" I asked.

"I walked," he said quietly.

I sighed softly. "Beautiful, I told you to call me. It's too dangerous for you to walk all the way here in the middle of the night. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Sorry," Gee whispered.

I looked down at his bandaged wrist and felt myself get choked up all over again. Gee was tired, it was nearly five in the morning now. I held him in my arms as he dozed off and I could feel myself drifting too.

The two of us woke up a few hours later at ten. I groaned, stretching my back and hearing it click. Fuck, this position made me so stiff. I looked down at Gee, who whined quietly.

"Come here, come sleep in my bed," I whispered.

I helped him to the bedroom as he yawned and I tucked him into the bed. I went out, shutting the door behind me as I got the mail. I looked at the bills, frowning slightly. I left a note for Gee at the table as I went down out of my apartment to the landlord's office, where I knew he always was.

"Mr. Larry?" I asked as I knocked.

"Oh, Mr. Iero, come on in," he said.

I opened the door, sitting down in the seat across his desk. I've been thinking about this for a while now and I think it could possibly work.

"How can I help you on this fine morning?" He asked cheerily.

Thankfully he's a really nice man with a balding head and rosy cheeks.

"Well, my lease ends in two weeks," I said. "It ends right after graduation and I was gonna go to New York right after at the beginning of the summer. But would I possibly be allowed to have my lease extended?"

"Extended? Until when?" Mr. Larry asked.

"At least until August?" I asked hopefully.

"Ooh, that's a hard time," he said, pulling out a big binder. "You know, end of summer, college students are looking for places. Cheap, small apartments like yours."

"Yeah," I mumbled, looking down at my lip.

"Why are you wanting to change?" He asked curiously while he looked through the binder.

"I'm dating someone now and I'd rather stay here longer with him than leaving so soon like I was planning on," I said.

Mr. Larry looked up at me with a cheerful smile. "Ah, young love. It's a beautiful thing."

"Sure is," I agreed, thinking back to my own beauty who was sleeping in my bed currently.

"My wife and I met in high school," he said. "Oh you should've seen her, she was a hoot."

I tried my hardest not to laugh as I nodded.

"Anywho, I think it will be okay to extend your lease for another two months," he said.

My eyes lit up as I looked at him.

"For a fee, of course," he said.

I sighed, nodding my head. We talked a bit more but thankfully I could get my lease extended, you know, for a fee. An expensive fee at that. Plus Gee's hospital bill. Jesus Christ.

When I got back home, I heard small footsteps upstairs. I walked up and saw Gee in the kitchen. I smiled, as he looked up.

"I-I made breakfast," he said quietly.

I looked at the two bowls of lucky charms with a bright smile.

"Bon appétit," I said

He handed me the bowl and the two of us sat in front of the tv.

"I have some good news, baby," I said.

He looked at me with a confused tone.

"I got my lease changed, I can stay for two more months," I said.

His eyes watered as he jumped into my arms.

"Happy?" I asked with a small chuckle.

He nodded as he cried and I rubbed his back.

"Hey, hey, I'll be here for you always," I promised.

Gee sat up, holding up his pinky. I smiled, wrapping mine with his

"I-I love you," he said.

"I love you too, kitten," I said

"C'mon, hungry?" I asked.

He picked up his bowl, looking down at the cereal before setting it down again.

"Not hungry anymore," he mumbled.

"How come?" I asked.

Gee shrugged, cuddling up to my side.

"Baby, you gotta eat," I said.

"Not hungwy, daddy," Gee muttered.

God, he was so fucking cute.

"Fine, but eat later," I said.

He nodded and clung to my side while I ate and we watched tv. My wrist felt so odd and naked without the bracelet on. I've been wearing it for a month, I've grown so used to it. I looked at the pink rubber around Gee's wrist, frowning softly. I looked at the other bandages and it my lip. Should I change the bandages? How often do I change them?

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

Gee shrugged, his head resting on my shoulder.

"I love you, beautiful," I said.

"Love you too, daddy," he said. "Love you always.

I smiled, kissing his forehead. Some time passed and it was lunch. I managed to find some bread and cheese, putting them on the stove to make grilled cheese. He watched me from the couch as I put the sandwiches onto plates and brought it to him. He bit his lip, his stomach growling.

"Not hungry, daddy," he denied, setting it down onto the coffee table.

"Baby, you need to eat," I said.

"But--"

"Eat," I ordered.

He whimpered, picking up the plate. Gee nibbled the sandwich, looking up at me.

"Done?" He asked.

"All of it," I stated.

Gee frowned, biting the sandwich. We finished and he was scowling. He crossed his arms with a pouty look on his face.

"C'mon, don't you feel better now that you've got some food?" I asked.

"No," he pouted. "Too fat."

"No," I denied. "You're not fat."

Gee turned his head from me, clearly unhappy.

"Alright, baby, I need to go out for a quick run to the store," i lied.

"C-can I come?" He asked.

"Not this time, beautiful," I denied.

I gave him a kiss and he hugged me.

"Love you," I said.

He nodded as I grabbed my keys and walked out. I got into my car, driving down the street. I went to a house that I haven't been to in quite a while. I went up to the front porch, ringing the doorbell over and over again until the door opened.

I gave a small smirk to the people who stood before me. "Hi mom, hi dad."