So here we are again. Christmas. Family dinner never ending with all of the usual questions about your life that no one ever wants to know the answers. Except covid strikes again. No dinner at all. No family. Not even the part you actually like and miss. Nothing. I just feel alone. It's like I want to be alone but at the same time it terrifies me. I just want it all to go away... everything. Gone. I would enjoy that break. I'm exhausted. I can't deal with it anymore. I just want it to end. I can't sleep at night. I think too much. About everything. There's no end. My head aches at these moments. Time flies continuously and I can never seem to catch up. Xmas is already tomorrow. I miss my siblings. I miss my grandma. I miss my grandpa. I miss my aunt. I miss my friends. I miss my old life. Summer 2019. Dog was still alive. Sis was born couple months ago. My only cares in the world were sunburns and choosing snacks. I enjoyed that summer so much. I had all my friends with me. I started mountain biking. I love my life. Right now I feel like I'm just surviving in the wait of the moment I can finally start loving my life again. I started my bullet journal again. Because my life odd a mess so why not try to at least keep a track of that. Now I don't have friends anymore. One's in another country whilst the other one is too busy complaining about every fucking thing. The others stopped talking to me a while back. I realize slowly d what it means to grow up and I'm starting to dislike that. I miss not worrying about everything. And I miss chem classes. And I miss these times where snuck fast food in the school and had to hide in the stairs to eat it not to get caught. And I miss these conversations on the bathroom floor. And I miss these impro at lunchtime. I even miss our arguments. I wanted to get out of there so bad at them time. Now I just miss it. And I would love to be able to just move on, but I've always been living in the past, so it's easier said than done.

Anyways, today's comfort lyrics.
There it is, again, that funny feeling.
What can I say? We were overdue.
But it will be over soon, you wait.