Sometimes I catch myself thinking, where the hell did I go wrong? I know there's so much beautiful things in life that we ought to appreciate, but what about the bad things? A teacher once told me an emotion has to be lived in order to die. We happily let the good emotion live, but when it's bad emotions, we'd like to silence them forever. It only results by them coming back again and again, until we let them live. I think I'm at a point where I've decided to let them all live a little, all these negative emotions I kept from getting out. And they make me reconsider my whole life and the decisions I've made in the last couple of months. What if I didn't choose the right studies program? What if I had just given HIM a little more time to right the things before I cut him from my life? What if I didn't stop training last year, how would my shape be right now? What about my friend? She went in another country and doesn't even talk to me anymore.. I thought friends were here for life, I now understand you have to chose your friends wisely. At least I can always find comfort in the fact that the ladybug I am will always have her cat noir. I chose you wisely my brother. If you ever pass by here, know that you're the best thing that happened to me. But, to go back to the questioning, is this really where I was supposed to be in my life? I feel lost. A child dropped in the middle of the ocean. And every time I seem to see the ground, it's just a mirage. You know what they say, every good thing meets an end, well every time I think I'm in the rightful place, life knocks me down and spits a big loud NO at me.. and I know life's an adventure you ought to live, but sometimes, little hints would be appreciated. How the f*ck am I supposed to know if I'm doing the right thing? If I'm a good person? Because there's always two sides to the medal. You'll always be right to someone and wrong to someone else. And as soon as you do something for YOU, even if it's the first time in years, you'll become egotist. People will assume you don't care about others. And you know what? Not a damn ruler on this planet is almighty. But you know what is? Others' vision of you. You'd do anything not to be judged negatively by others. Because if you're different, then you're weird, you're not normal, you ought to conform to the society. This is bullshit if you want my opinion. No ones opinion should matter except yours and the ones you're close ones have, but yours should always come first. I feel you already thinking I'm a pro self love and all this shit. I'll tell you a secret: I don't like myself any more than anyone. I'm part of the "you" I mentioned earlier. I know what SHOULD be, but I also know it's the most difficult thing to do in life. There are days I feel myself, I feel pretty and powerful and even hot! But there are days I wouldn't even get out of my house, because I think I'm too fat, too ugly, or just not enough. These days are rough. Music get me through it, mostly. These are the days which I'm questioning my whole existence. What could I have done in the past not to feel like that right now? This is the main interrogation. Also, the thing that bothered me for the past 2 months: why didn't HE took me seriously? He knew what was going to happen if he kept avoiding that one thing. He knew he'd lose me. I guess I just wasn't enough for him. I gave him more than enough time to do this thing right, and he didn't. And on top of that, he lied to me.. MULTIPLE TIMES! And after I cut him off, because of HIS behavior, he has the nerves to call it MY fault and that I lacked patience. Continue to play the victim boy, it's gonna bring you far in life... and you give the impression you think yourself higher than anyone else, which you are not by the way, you should stop that, makes you look like a megalomaniac. And I don't even care, do what you want now that I don't have any more thing to do with you, but you could at least keep you mouth shut and not trash talk about me don't you think? When I talk about you, I state facts and explain how I felt. When you talk about me, you miraculously know what was going on in my head at any moments, and you openly judge me with Mr. anyone. That hurts man, I thought you were above a that. I guess I was wrong about you. And if you ever magically pass by, be happy I didn't state your name nor that one thing. Also I'd like you to acknowledge my feelings about you and leave me the f*ck alone. Well, I think I emptied my bag for tonight. Good day y'all.

On with today's comfort lyrics:
Thought I could fly. So I stepped off the Golden. Nobody cried. Nobody even noticed. I saw them standing right there. Kinda thought they might care...