If he was going to just vanish, he ought to have handed me back my phone or laptop or— anything that would save me from the distress that I had been feeling for the past two days. He was probably sleeping at his girlfriend's apartment. Kind of eerie how someone could have the privilege of calling another woman his girlfriend whilst being married to another. Giving myself benefit of the doubt, it was my fault. If I had simply agreed to sign the papers maybe it wouldn't be the case. I left him no choice. With no one home except Florence who felt more like my nanny, I decided there was no harm in wondering through certain parts of the house that I had not explored out of respect for that certain person.

Still very minimalistic, no clutter, as clean as could be just like the rest of the house; white seemed to be the winning theme. This room was definitely bigger than mine or the other guest rooms. A whiff of his strong cologne hit me as soon as I had opened the door. A name rang in my mind 'English Blazer' —

things were coming back to me sometimes slower than most sometimes faster. There was definitely no telling. I could identify some strong smells to a person or feeling.

Thoughts running in my head were did I sleep on this bed? Did she sleep on this bed? How could someone be perfectly fine with sleeping on a bed that a man once slept on with his very own wife. Regardless I felt as though Lorenzo was a complete stranger to me. It didn't hurt as much as I could imagine... if I remembered everything.

It had not truly registered to me, how severe my situation was. He wanted a child and it seemed I did not, at the time. Now there possibly a child—

Possibly because I did not believe it. How could anyone be two weeks pregnant? That is far too early to identify... or perhaps I was trying to console myself with lies.

Coming back to my thoughts, I looked around into the walk in closet. I did not see any images of us like downstairs. This was obviously his space and he'd rather not have pictures of his wife plastered all over his bedroom. Paula must have picked out certain items in this room. They did not match the white and mahogany theme around the house. I could easily pick out something that did not fit into the decor or a certain area.

Just as I was about to step out, I heard footsteps then eventually the door opened. I stayed still in the closet. There was enough space to walk out and about. Big enough space to hide, I swallowed a lump of fear that I did not know, I was holding in; he wouldn't open it. I told myself. I had closed the door right behind me.

"You better sit in a chapel and thank the heavens she doesn't remember." I heard Lorenzo whisper but with so much frustration it sounded as if he was yelling.

"...right..." I heard Paula's voice follow right after his. I could recognise it from anywhere, it had a phong feel to it. She tried to make it sound sweet and candied. "Stop freaking out! She won't remember by the time she does, we would have a solid plan. I know exactly what you could really really use right now..."

"...not now Paula..."

I could hear the sound her heels made against the tiled floor with every step.

"You know we could be having so much more fun naked and—" she giggled. "But no we have to constantly be talking about her her her all the time. It's as if you don't hate her as much as you claim to."

"...Paula do y-you understand the fact that you would be in jail she remembered, that really hasn't sinked in has it? But of-course yes, let's have sex because that is the most ethical solution to this circus you've both created."

"We've both created? She did that to herself. I did not do anything. She is simply upset that she has grown old and a younger beautiful woman has replaced her."

I heard Lorenzo scoff.

"Trust me, the Soraya I know could care less."

"Well then why did it take so long for her accept our relationship and sign the papers...?"

There was silence, I stayed still.

"She did." He admitted.

"What?!"

"She signed the papers the day she found out about us then moved into the guest room."

"But you said—"

"I know, I lied." He sounded so void of emotions.

So I did sign the papers?

"But for months and months you said she said—" Paula paused, her voice breaking. "What is all this Lorenzo?"

"Nothing." He sighed. "You do not simply wake up and decide you don't love someone you've been with for years. It's not that simple... Soraya is..."

"Nothing!" Paula yelled. "Soraya is nothing. You said it yourself. You hate Soraya remember? You absolutely loathe her? You're always so embarrassed when she puts on her fake horse hair and those excessive ghetto nails? You can not introduce her to anyone at the office? You'd rather not post her? Your mother has told you time and again that you need to get rid of her? In fact what is that racist Portuguese word that your whole family calls her? Isn't that why you deactivated your Facebook account and pretended to be single for the last two years of your marriage? You were tired of un-tagging yourself from her posts. You helped her lose weight for your own conniving benefits. You told me this yourself! She makes you miserable and you were never attracted to her in any shape or form. In fact you haven't had sex in the last three years? It was absolutely torture for you. Was that a lie too? You're racist, absolutely racist and you hide it really well. Your family is a reflection of how you were raised and think too. You try so hard to convince yourself you're the good guy and you're different but I've read you for filth! You're just like your family."

— Two years ago.

"I bought a dress, wanna see?"

"What?" Lorenzo came to a halt. "What dress? For what?"

"The receptionist from your work place left a message saying there's a Christmas party and everyone should bring a plus one." I muttered excitedly.

"There er- must have been a mistake. The venue turned out to be really small last minute, so all plus one's invites were cancelled."

"Oh..." I muttered lowly.

He came close and gave me a perk on lips. "How about I go for a bit then come back within an hour then we can have dinner and dessert in bed huh?"

I smiled then shrugged.

"We always do that, thought this time would be different and we'd be around people. Besides my family... I actually wanted to see your friends and colleagues— I guess people in your life."

"But I love having my wife all to myself." He said softly giving me another kiss.

"Fine... I will just have wine and wait for you to get back so we can open our presents together."

"Absolutely love the sound of that, bello!"

—

I heaved a sigh, trying to blink away the tears at the corner of my eyes. What type of lie was I living... "You don't know anything about my wife and I." Lorenzo replied unbothered.

"I'm going to tell her everything!"

"Sure Paula."

"She deserves better."

"You're only saying that for your own biased reasons. You know you could care less."

"If anyone should be letting anyone go, it should be you... she signed the papers so let her go. You're such a manipulative bastard who found their insecure traumatised prey, played victim. I'm sure you were already an illegal immigrant before she married you. Your visa had already expired. When you started buying her coffee and flowers—" Paula yelled. "What a sob romantic story."

"Are you done?"

"Fuck you Lorenzo!"

He only chuckled as if any of this was funny. Even my old self did not know this man. Perhaps this amnesia was the best thing to ever happen to me. How would I have ever known who was my true enemy? God, it absolutely stung knowing everything was a lie. No wonder I had refused to have a child with this man. No wonder...

—

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