"I'm afraid for the calendar."

I gave an uneasy smile not sure how one would respond to that. Blankly staring the ceiling, not sure what I'd do with my day; yet again.

"It's days are numbered." Craig, my therapist responded. I didn't understand, a smile found itself on my lips as I tried to make sense of it.

"Get it? I'm afraid for the calendar because it's days are numbered." He laughed almost out of breath. With a slight grin on my face, I finally chuckled.

"Mhm, I think I'm with your wife on this one."

"Ofcourse you're Soraya. Both your humour is below standard."

"I called to reschedule not hear some lame dad joke sir." I laughed, in all honesty... it had really brightened up my morning. I could see myself beginning to open up and get comfortable with Craig. He meant no harm and only meant for me to get better. He was a good listener made everything sound light hearted as if I was speaking to a long time friend. Currently, I needed that. Lorenzo couldn't help me with my memory even if he did, he is a compulsive liar. I'd strive to recall events with my therapist. I'd strive to get my life back, most of all I wanted to strive on figuring out what I'd do with this child that I was carrying. An uneasy sigh escaped my lips the minute, I saw Lorenzo watching me from the corner of my door. I immediately pulled the sheets up to cover any revealing skin.

It seemed he had gotten a hair cut because the day before, he did not look this way. Perhaps a slight trim, it really aligned how sharp his jaw was. His features seemed almost perfect, it irked me so much but also comforted me. Knowing it definitely wasn't my fault for falling for someone so cunning, he was indeed a handsome man. The only flaw, I could find was in his personality. His eyes greener than most. His body— I had never seen him half naked. Only in his boxers, my eyes scanned from head to toe. The gym was definitely a constant place for him, it was visible. Lean and tall with a bit of muscle. When our eyes finally met, I immediately looked away.

"Anyways uh-uhm is that alright with you?" I asked Craig as I watched Lorenzo finally walk in and close the door the behind.

"Perfectly alright, we just have to make sure we meet once a week. Remember this is for your own good. We all want to you to remember and get better..."

"Yes yes, ofcourse. Thank you for understanding. I have a lot going on for me at the moment."

"Hopefully we can talk about that on our next session? I appreciate you being courteous enough to call."

"Yes..." I couldn't tell him about this, could I?

I watched Lorenzo continue to browse through my room as if he had never been in here. I didn't have much, it still looked the way I found it.

We bid each other goodbye. As soon as I sat the phone down, Lorenzo turned to look at me. I put the cordless landline on my bedside. With one arm trying to pull the sheets over my breasts.

"Good morning. I'm sorry for disturbing your call." He muttered, I had never heard his voice sound this deep and baritone in a pleasant way. Granted he always sounded like that, I simply never put mind to it.

"No, it's alright. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Lorenzo smirked as a smile came onto his lips as if a memory had just crossed his mind. "Even with your memory gone, you still hate wearing night dresses or Pyjamas and prefer sleeping in just your underwear?" A sultry laugh escaped his lips. "...somethings never change..." I wasn't moved, I only tightened the grip on the sheets that covered my bare breasts. It did somewhat bring me joy in knowing, I wasn't completely a stranger to myself and that some of my old traits were still very much instilled within me. Even though I did most unknowingly.

I did not have much to say before I could form a sentence, he spoke again taking a seat on the empty side of my bed. "My mother is coming to stay with us for quite a bit. Believe me it was such a surprise for me as well. She should arrive before dinner today. I wanted to check in and find out how you feel about it?"

"No need to worry, I won't disturb anything that yourself and Paula have planned for her visit. I'm sure she would be more than delighted to know that we're almost done with the process." I assured him.

"She thinks we're still together." He admitted. I was confused so I furrowed my eyebrows.

"You should let her know..." I insisted. "I know she does not like me so that would be great news."

"Well... she is very much Roman Catholic, so is the rest of my family. They won't be happy about this."

I was confused. They hate me but they don't want us to get divorced because of religious reasons?

"I could stay at a hotel for the time being? Is that it? That we're separated but reside in the same house..?"

Lorenzo then scratched the back of his head.

"My mother never liked you, yes but she definitely won't approve of Paula being in the picture especially since you're still legally my wife. All I'm saying is that, she is a very religious woman."

She knows about my pregnancy, was the only thought ringing in my mind as I stared at her son oblivious to it all.

"I won't mention anything about Paula to her if that's what you're afraid of. You will tell her whenever you're ready to. She is your mother after all."

"Soraya?" He called my name softly trying to reach for my hand but I quickly shifted away. Only looking at him for an answer.

"She has never met you before well at-least in person and she will definitely have a lot of questions to ask. Mostly overwhelming, I just want to make sure you're ready for that. Especially in your condition."

'What's that racist Portuguese word your family calls her?' Paula's voice rang at the back of my mind.

"If she knows we're separated, there won't be any questions to ask. We don't have to pretend. You also need to stop wearing your ring—"

"It's not that simple." He heaved a sigh. "What will I say when she questions our reason for separating?"

I shrugged not knowing what to tell him. "It just didn't work out and it happens. We aren't the first people to realise we weren't good for each other."

"Roman Catholic Church does not recognise divorce. A marriage can only end when one partner dies or if there are grounds for an annulment . A couple may be granted a civil divorce and be divorced in the eyes of the state, but their marriage will continue 'in the eyes of God. Trust me bello my mother will pester us." Sighing again. "I haven't told her the initial reason why we got married. She won't approve of the fake marriage, she thinks it's some serious covenant that can't be messed with."

I did not know what to say. I could tell, he worried a lot about his mother's opinion. I couldn't lie on his behalf. It was best he told her the truth. There was absolutely no reason to lie, we had not done anything wrong. She would just have to accept that her precious son was a cunning, manipulative, arrogant man.

I told him, I couldn't help him.

—

I was sitting in the kitchen on one of the stools rounding the counter, absolutely intrigued by the book I was reading. My surroundings and everything else seemed far from my thoughts except the words my eyes scrambled on from line to line, paragraph to paragraph. I could hear Florence hum a song as she cooked, she sounded happy too happy; it was almost too suspicious. I pretended, to listen when all I wanted us to get through this chapter. At least in this book, I could pretend... this— right now wasn't my life. I could be anyone else for even just a second. I could be that character or this character or anything but Soraya Dos Santos. I badly wanted to know more about the type of person, I was. Already proud of myself for having been the one to dish out the divorce papers. Lorenzo had lied and manipulated me into believing a narrative that made him seem angelic. Florence went on and on about the dish, she was making. Bacalhau com Natas (Cod with cream) some famous Portuguese cuisine.

"It's your husband's favourite." She said setting the table.

I awkward turned over to the next page not knowing what to say. What could say? The word itself irked me. Suddenly we heard keys to the front door scramble. In came Lorenzo with a woman, it wasn't Paula. I was stuck in the same position. Not sure if I should quickly run off to my room or simply be modest. Greet her and hope for the best. I suddenly became mindful of my entire outfit, a decent loungewear set that I had found in my wardrobe. Nothing special, nothing revealing, it was decent for someone who was on house arrest. I watched Lorenzo bring in two suitcases with the biggest grin on his face. I don't think i had ever seen him this happy. Not since the accident or from what I remember. The woman walked in, looking around before her eyes finally set on me from afar.

She was short but her block heels made her seem taller. I could tell she took a lot of time in her wardrobe, make up and the way she presented herself. She was beautiful even in her old age. Wrinkles perfectly hidden behind her perfectly toned foundation. She seemed very classy in a formal two piece dress. Colourful eyeliner, natural-coloured lipstick, pastel eyeshadow and vivid blush. Her dark blue eyes were puffy probably jet-lagged.

I watched from afar as Florence hugged her and they exchanged kisses on both cheeks. How could one person be so intimidating? I still did not know if I should leave quietly for my room or greet them then leave quietly for my room. They all conversed with excitement in Portuguese, a language I knew nothing about.

"You must be my son's wife." She finally walked over giving me a not so friendly smile. Her accent was very thick, I almost could not hear what she had said at first. I didn't move, I extended my arm for a handshake but instead she blew me off and turned to speak to her son in their home language. Florence only gave me a sympathetic smile. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the encounter, I blinked away a few tears. I'd be okay? Ofcourse I would. I would probably never see them in the next year or so. Hopefully—

"Mama don't be rude now, this is Soraya. I don't think you properly met." Lorenzo tried to make her converse with me.

She turned around giving me a quick glance. Her eyes swept from head to toe but for a second they stayed strictly on my stomach. I felt uncomfortable and out of place. Thankful nothing was showing just yet.

"I've seen the pictures." She added firmly holding onto her purse. "I think I know just enough."

Lorenzo cleared his throat.

"I will be in my room." I told Florence.

"But you have to eat dear?" Florence replied clearly concerned.

"No no, I'm not that hungry. Don't worry about me. If I do get hungry, I will come down to get something."

Lorenzo's mother stared at me with absolute distaste before speaking. "Lorenzo, your wife is so rude. Is this what American culture is all about. How does one go and sit in their room when they have a guest visiting their home?"

"...please stay..." Lorenzo whispered to me.

I didn't want to.

"I know she is a bit difficult but she is a nice person once you get to know her."

"I don't need to know her, Paula does. There's no need for me to be here." I whispered back. Florence was talking to her so I didn't think she could hear anything that Lorenzo and I had said to each other.

"It's not about that. Eating together has always been an important custom in our family." He huffed, I could see how frustrated he was beginning to sound with each heated reply. He bit his bottom lip almost annoyed.

"That's the thing, I'm not in your family." I added crossing my arms.

He smiled, for a second as if forgetting he was upset with me. His green orbs flickered at my lips, as if imagining a lustful want that I could not give. "You're my family, Soraya. Always was and is. You know that."

Before I could reply, he kissed me on the cheek. Announcing that he'd be showing his mother the guest room. What was that for? I—

—

Dinner was fine, I kept to myself and spoke when required to. For some reason, I had to sit next to Lorenzo, I would have much preferred any other seat. He kept his hand on my thigh under the table as if it was a habit he was used to doing granted we had been together for nearly eight years. I thought nothing of it, it was simple a habit he was having a hard time unlearning. My body reacted in a different light, every-time he gave my thigh a light squeeze. I could feel my tummy start to do somersaults and tingles all over my skin. I felt embarrassed, I didn't give any noticeable reaction.

"Has your wife interested herself in learning Portuguese?" His mother asked. Every-time she asked a question, she did it indirectly. I didn't understand why she couldn't just ask me since I was literally sat opposite her.

Before I could reply, Lorenzo took over. "She has and she understands it very well. She just has a hard time speaking and pronouncing some words."

Perhaps that was before because right now, I couldn't tell you anything.

"She hasn't touched her food. Does she not like Portuguese cuisines?" His mom asked, pointing her utensils at me.

"She does, she just hasn't been feeling well." Florence chirped in.

"Oh yes, ofcourse. I heard you weren't feeling well. Has it occurred to you that maybe you're pregnant?" She raised an eyebrow.

"...n-no I'm not...!" I let out. I had not expected her to be that straight forward.

"Mother?" Lorenzo said giving his mother a warning look. She only shrugged.

"When do you plan on—"

"We don't, we're actually getting divorced." I replied as politely as I could. I could only assume, she'd cut me off some slack if she knew her son and I were no more. Lorenzo sighed loudly as if he had been planning on keeping this from her. She stared in absolute shock. Lorenzo's mother seemed almost flabbergasted. Why was she surprised, she had decided long back that she did not like me.

"That's why you don't have your ring— where is my grandmother's ring?!"

Lorenzo was quiet so I decided to speak up instead. "Lorenzo is engaged. I'm sure you will meet her soon. Do not worry, she is white. There really wasn't a need for me to be present regardless it was nice meeting you." Just as I was about to stand up, she gasped.

"What?" She paused. "What is all this Lorenzo?"

For a moment, I had forgotten Florence was present.

"You want to raise a child in a broken home?" She asked once more.

"There is no child!!!" Lorenzo and I said at the same time before staring back at her. She looked at me, scrutinising my every move and say.

"Good thing, I will be here for the next six months. We will see then."

I shuddered at the thought. Not even Lorenzo had bet an eye to the possibility of it being true. He truly believed that I was on birth control, like I'd always been. I didn't know how I slipped up either. Perhaps on the day of the accident, I stop taking them or I couldn't remember that I had birth control to take.

Florence began to clear the table so I helped. I heard them argue back and forth in their mother tongue. Bickering with my name being thrown here and there. Well at-least that was now out of the way. She now knew where I stood with her son. Her wishes had finally came true.

—

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