MICHAEL

I knew at one point we would have to go back. To return. Like century old ghosts returning to the world as refugees. It was spinning in the back of my mind like a devil, waltzing with my hopes like I were made of glass.

I simply didn't expect it to be today. Neither did Luke, but as we were sitting at the front of the cave, our backs pressed up against the rock and our fingers intertwined, we suddenly realized how empty Luke's backpack is, and how we desperately needed a good bath that doesn't involve washing our hair with water from the stream.

Living away from civilization had begun to take its toll on us, but not in a bad way. We had begun to loathe the idea of living in cramped up homes, breathing in oxygen that we have to share with other lungs. Dealing with other people's minds and opinions that don't think the same way as us.

We don't want to go back. But we have to. Because paradise doesn't last forever.

It didn't take long to pack up our stuff after Luke broke it to me that we needed to go back. We simply shoved our dirty blankets back into Luke's nearly empty backpack and sat on the cave floor, staring at the place that had so quickly had become our home. Our secret place, hidden behind layers of memories that have become too dusty to feel the pain of.

We let the hot sun cool down into late afternoon, when it has been worn down by the events of the day. Then we jolt from our unblinking stare at the horizon, our minds melting into the realization that we have to leave.

The blonde looks over at me, his baby blue eyes glinting in the pale sunlight. He reaches over and slides his hand over mine, squeezing it gently before helping me stand up. He pulls me to my feet with ease, drawing me closer to him as he adjusts the backpack strap over his shoulder.

Luke begins to lead me out of my beloved cave, the stone walls beckoning to me as we exit out of its fragile grasp. I stare at the green ivy climbing the sides of the walls, ice filling my bloodstream before my breath hitches, and I push away from Luke.

"Wait." I say, grabbing the knife from Luke's backpack and walking carefully over to the wall of the cave. I slowly lift it to the stone, the pointed edge towards the rock, and gently scraping it against the wall. The sharp edge tears off the grey coating of the stone and reveals the white layer of materials underneath. I drag it across the rock, carving a prominent L into the surface.

I hear the blonde tenderly approach me from behind, and I see him stare at what I'm doing. I twist the edge carefully to the right of the L, forming a small dot. I then engrave an H into the rock, and draw a plus sign under the two letters.

Luke smiles and laughs quietly when he sees what I'm doing, gently wrapping his arms around my middle, resting his head on my shoulder.

I chisel in my initials, and the lower the blade, turning my head to smile at Luke. The blue eyed boy grins, reaching for the knife in my hands.

He moves away from me, closer to the wall. He carefully draws a crooked heart over the four letters, making sure it is well indented and prominent. A smile grows on my face when I see it, and Luke flips around, putting away the knife and pressing his lips against mine. He pulls apart shortly and places his arm around my shoulders as we walk towards the entry of the cave, satisfied with the little piece of us left behind.

We leave the cave, stepping out onto the dim sunlight and feeling the breeze ripple goosebumps across our skin. We stare out at the breathtaking horizon, capturing a mental picture that will be tattooed onto our brains as we walk away, stepping into the serenity of the trees.

Luke and I stumble among the weeds, stepping on dry flowers and crushed pine cones as we track through our familiar path. We move at a faster pace than before since we know exactly where we are going now. I remember looking at the same clump of red flowers, the same moss that covers the left side of an oak tree, the same burrow created by some animal behind a wall of bushes.

I stare up at the sky as we walk, the infinite blue clear of any clouds, having only the overpowering sun to keep it company. My ears fill with the sound of the birds in the trees and the squirrels along the ground, combined with the rush of the familiar river a little ways away.

"Michael." Luke's voice adds to the collection of sounds in my ears, and I turn to look at him. He smiles at me and points to a spot beside the trees, and I see that we are standing by our final camp we set up, just before we noticed the rock walls. I see the pile of burnt wood and ashes, along with a flattened spot in the grass where our bodies has slept.

My lips tug up in a smile as we continue walking, our shoulders brushing occasionally as we drift between the trees. We make small conversation about the colors of the birds and the crispness of the air, but for the most part we stay silent, letting our light footsteps speak words our tongues can't.

The rush of the river sounds louder each step we take, and I know we are getting closer to it. I can't dig through the swirl of emotions in my blood to decipher whether or not I want to see the river- the stream of water that calmed the fire in my veins during the past hellacious years of my life.

The dirt under out feet gets softer as the air fills with moisture. The trees begin to stray away, our shoes sticking messily to the mud as we walk. Luke slides his fingers in between mine as the river gets louder, and we can just barely see the white waves through the bushes.

We step past the bushes together, and sigh at the sight of the familiar river, the slippery stones sitting in the water just as it had when we crossed earlier. I turn to look at the blonde, who nervously looks at the stones. I swiftly wrap my arm around his, providing him a bit more stability as walk over to the stones, our shoes squeaking on the surface of the rocks.

Wordlessly, we both step on the first stone together, the water spraying up and washing the mud off of our converse. Luke clumsily slides a little, but I hold him in place thanks to my arm around his.

Luke lets out a quick sigh of relief, pressing a kiss to the top of my head before facing the stones again, trembling a bit in fear of being carried away by the maniacal river. I help him step onto the next stone, and then the next, until our soggy shoes carry us away from the river as we leap for sturdy ground.

We land on the dirt, breathing loudly from exertion. Luke managed to land on his feet this time, which he seemed quite proud about.

"Alright, which way?" Luke asked, straightening up and peering off into the distance. "Judging by the position of the sun, Greenwood should be approximately-"

Knowing he has no idea what he is talking about anyway, I waddle forward, tugging on his shirt sleeve to gain his attention.

"Can we just stop and rest for the night?" I ask. "It's nighttime.

"Yeah." Luke smiles down at me. "Of course."

We walk to a spot with dryer land, where the river isn't quite as loud. Luke lays out the blankets, and he lays down, holding his arms out for me. I lower myself to the ground, snuggling into his warm embrace.

Luke hums an unidentifiable song in my ear, his voice melodic and sweet. His voice flows with the sound of the river, effortlessly falling and rising with the wind.

"Will you sing for me, love?" Luke suddenly asks, his chin brushing the top of my head. I take a deep breath, analyzing this question thoroughly in my head before turning around in his arms so that I can see him.

I open my mouth slowly, my heart beating like a hummingbird's wings against my chest. My voice shakily slips out my lungs as I begin the first few words of I Miss You by blink-182.

Luke's smile could light up five football stadiums when I begin singing, and he rubs my back supportively. When my voice begins to die off from nerves, Luke joins in, his beautiful voice mixing in with mine.

"Michael, your voice is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard." Luke whispers against my lips. Blood rushes to my cheeks as I gently shake my head.

"I'm serious." Luke repeats, and looks away from my pallid eyes to cuddle me deeper into his chest. I sigh, clutching onto his shirt with my fingers and allowing myself to be held like a child.

"What do you think will happen," I begin slowly, "when you have to leave for Sydney?"

Luke frowns. "I don't want to think about this."

"We have to, though. I can't go with you, so..." I trail off, my heart aching as though it has just been punched. "Will we ever see each other again?"

"Stop." Luke murmurs, stroking my hair. "I'm not leaving you. We'll find a way to stay together, alright? We'll find a way."

I nod silently, and turn my head up to the black sky, littered with tiny sparks that appear drilled into the sky. Stars seem so carefree. What have they to worry about? Each are one of a million in the huge sky, outshone by the glorious sun and defeated by the beauty of the moon- yet, they all seem like they belong.

Maybe when I pass away some day, becoming nothing but a decaying figure under layers of dirt that can't suffice the horrors of the world, maybe I'll become one of them.

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A/N filler sorry i know it sucked dont look at me

sigh

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