Destiny"

As I layed in the hospital bed so many thought ran through my head.

Just thinking about how I had nobody and that I was bout to give birth all by myself made me extremely sad..but I had no body to blame but myself.

The tech came in and I did my usual pre-ultrasound routine. She started the ultrasound and it look a bit longer to locate the baby than normally..so she told me she was just going to wait until the doctor came.

Once the doctor came about a hour later she came in and that's when I realized it was moe's boyfriend sister, so now I was really uncomfortable and wanted it all to hurry up and just be over with already, so I can enjoy the little bit of life I was going to have with my baby.

Once London began to give me my ultra sound she had this strange look on her face but I couldn't put 2 an 2 to together, that was until she told me she couldn't detect a heartbeat and told me to drink water.

I rubbed my belly hoping and praying everything was alright when I glanced at London seeing that she was leaving the room.

"Is everything ohkay" I asked the nurse.

"Yeah she's fine she just need to go check on her other patient" she smiled going over to the computer typing something.

I picked up my phone and called Brandon and told him everything that was going an told him I needed him, he told me he was on his way so by the time I start pushing he will be here to support me.

Once London came back in She dimmed the light giving me another ultra sound again.

London looked at me an told me that she couldn't find a heartbeat anymore cut me so deep to the point I didn't want to believe it causing me to yell and demand for a different doctor.

London left on my commands in search for another doctor.

Brandon walked in looking fine as hell making me regret everything I had done, as he walked towards the bed he seen the look on my face.

I just shook my head an began to cry.

"You ohaky dess" He said as he rubbed my back giving me a tight hug.

"No there telling me they can't detect a heartbeat!" I sobbbed in his shoulder.

We finally got a doctor in the room, not my doctor still but she started another ultrasound:

'I'm sorry your baby doesn't have a heartbeat. It probably stopped about a week ago, the flutter you probably felt was the fetus floating around" she said with the type of emotion on her face.

I went numb. Was this my fault? I should've been more grateful, more excited. Why is God punishing me? Because He knew I'd be an unfit mother? Why did this happen? I wanted all the answers. Instead, we were taken to a cold hospital waiting for a doctor, very-far-along pregnant women where in other rooms as well.

We were told our 2 options were very slim I could have a section and they take the baby out our I can just push the baby out naturally.

Just the thought about giving birth to a dead baby was almost unbearable.

There was a lot of information to process and part of me wanted the decision to be taken out of my hands... I felt an enormous burden to try and work out what to do in the midst of feeling so utterly devastated.

after I discussed what I wanted to do i was moved back to the delivery room since I decided to have my baby natural.

The whole entire time Brandon was right by my side being so supportive, it made me wonder why he was being so nice to me after everything I had done.

"Ohkay you will be pushing in about 15mins once Dr. Blunt comes back in" one of the nurses said.

"Ohkay" I sniffled and wiped my face.

20mins later

"There are lots of different ways to manage contractions yourself, including massages , movement, different positions and breathing techniques, As labour progresses and contractions become more intense, you may want to use some pain relief so just let me know" dr. London said.

"Oooooh ouch this shit hurts" I moaned in pain going in an out.

"Just breath baby just breath..."

"Her heart rate is dropping.. she's losing a lot of blood" dr London yelled at one of the nurses.

"Omg help her what the fuck is y'all moving so slow for!" Brandin yelled out of panic.
________________________________
Do y'all think somebody should call moe?🤔

Why y'all think Brandon being so nice?🤷🏾‍♀️
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Go read my 🍯hunnybuns 🍯books👇🏾
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Toodles👋😘.